Self-fulfillment is the name of the game these days. If I tell people I do not care what personal success I get out of life, I just want to serve my family and those who may need me in my daily life, I get funny looks. Of course if I can raise my children to follow God, love others and appreciate my husband and me, I think that IS personal success…completely credited to the strength that God offers. We do not have to view ‘doing for others’ as separate from ‘doing for ourselves’.
Are we allowed to go hang out with friends now and then?
Moderation is key. Intention is important.
suffer for it. Children are left to grow up more quickly than is appropriate and without the necessary skills. Marriage turns into two people who live in the same house but rarely spend quality time together…and a good quantity of it. I could dive into fulfilling myself first and leaving my family for my spare time and I would feel happiness about what I was experiencing and achieving, but I would also miss out on a lot related to my family.
Did Jesus worry about what He got out of His life? He had a few moments when he asked God to release Him from his calling. He probably would have enjoyed getting married, having a child of his own and sharing God’s word for a longer lifetime. God won.
I think when I became pregnant with my children, it was God calling me to raise them in the best way that my life experiences allow. I loved teaching, looked at that job as my calling from God…but He provided me with a higher calling in my family and children-where I still get to teach. My self-fulfillment turned into not screwing up my kids, teaching them all that I know and making sure they feel God’s love through me. I hope and pray that I can achieve this.
We do need to care for ourselves and hopefully we have families and/or friends who offer to care for us when we need it too, but our ‘self’ can be fully fulfilled when we know our life has a purpose and a mission in helping others. C.S. Lewis said (paraphrase) if we mess up raising our children, no successes in our life matter. We can not improve our parenting without spending time doing it. We can not improve the relationships we have with our kids unless we spend time with them.
Has motherhood caused you to question what you value most?
I’d love to read your thoughts!
This post is featured in A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms: When You Need to Connect in Faith. Read all of the included articles about faith and motherhood HERE.
For more reading about the value of motherhood:
Enjoy your time at home!