Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.
{This week: Post by Lisa}
It’s never fun to have to deal with someone who criticizes your parenting.
It was an exhausting afternoon when an elderly friend questioned my parenting choices. She positioned herself as a person with authority and experience. She belittled me and judged me without knowing the facts in regards to my decision.
We face this often don’t we moms? Somebody thinks they know better and they impose their opinion on us. Sometimes someone who criticizes our parenting can make us second guess ourselves.
I’m here to tell you that we don’t need to get on the defensive, be offended, or question ourselves.
A Plan to Deal with Someone who Criticizes Your Parenting
First, and foremost, God picked you to be your child’s mother! God gave you the map with directions.
You are the one in your child’s life that knows him the best. You my dear one are fully equipped to take on this fulltime job of being a parent. God has your backpack packed and He is right there to help you unpack.
Second, you are never obligated to agree or please those who tell you how to parent.
We often times feel overwhelmed with parenting. Our expectations don’t always match our reality. This can leave us feeling confused, frustrated, or like a failure. We think we need advice and we set ourselves up for others to come in and tell us what they think we should do. They see our weak spots and they are tempted to capitalize on it to convince us that we are wrong and that they are right.
These kind of interactions are not healthy.
Third, Focus on Positive Relationships
A safe person to share your concerns with is one who will encourage you to seek God’s guidance and share their own personal insights only when they are asked to. We must be wise in who we allow to speak into our life. Godly wisdom and knowledge is priceless. I listen to those who have shown themselves to be respectful. Their life is filled with love and success. I admire what they do and I trust their ideas.
God gives us people to help us read the map He has given us for our family. Sometimes we need help understanding and someone to point us into the right direction. We are foolish if we think we can figure parenting out all on our own.
Fourth, Make a Parenting Plan
Too often I look to books, blogs, and Pinterest to find the right formula for parenting. As a homeschooling mamma I’m constantly on the lookout for the best curriculum. There is so much information out there and most of it doesn’t work for my family or fit my style. I observe this to be true for most of us. There are great suggestions that we have implemented into our daily lives. And I’m sure you have discovered great insight too.
But isn’t it tiring to always see what others are doing and to try to make our lives like someone else’s? It feels pointless when our family members get cranky with us because our parenting plans are of no interest to them. It’s painful when everything falls apart and stress takes us on a spin until we crash in our own lake of tears.
What shall we do Moms? How do we discover a family plan that works for us? I’m not going to create a formula for us or tell you what to do. Instead I would like to suggest ideas for us to think about as we put together our own family mission. It’s going to be different for each of us and that’s the point.
Making a Family Mission Statement and Parenting Plan
Ideas come from questions we ask and observations we make. Following are some of the things I seek to understand before I make a plan for our family.
Remember in times you are not sure about your decision, test it , give it to God, trust the process, give it time, and don’t make decisions based upon feelings only. Study to show yourself approved. Settle with what you know and don’t ever think you know it all. There is always something to learn. Most importantly know that God is on your side.
Thoughts to Consider Before Making a Family Mission Statement and Parenting Plan
-Consider each person’s temperament and love language
-Consider the interests of each member
-Consider individual wants and needs
-Consider and prioritize problems that need to be addressed
-Consider yourself and accept your weaknesses and strengths
-Most Importantly What Does God Have To Say About It?
-Does This Plan Fit In With Our Families Goals, Mission, and Values?
Create a Family Motto or Mission Statement
These 35 Family Mottos shared by bloggers at What’s Up Fagans can help start the process of deciding what is most important for your family, and break it down into simple terms.
Use this fill-in-the-blank template idea shared by Focus on the Family to write your family mission statement.
Develop a family Mission Statement.
I’m discovering that the more I understand what God’s plan is for my family the more I’m able to make a commitment to goals.
Confidence comes from having a clear vision for God’s purpose for our family. When your parenting goals are clear you are less likely to be ruffled by someone who criticizes your parenting.
What are your thoughts about creating a family mission statement? I’d like to read your ideas in the comments below.
I had my first child in 2008 and my second child in 2010. I am not a young mom. I’ve been married since 2006 to an amazing man that is my best friend. I’m so in love with him. We live in Colorado with our son and pretty little girl. Before I had children I was a Preschool Teacher. Now I’m a Home School Teacher.
I write to encourage and inspire. Life is messy and sometimes makes no sense. I don’t have all the answers or claim to have it all together. I choose to live for God because He has blessed me so much. I’m learning that I don’t have to be perfect. I’m loved by God just because and so are you. My hope is that my stories about parenting bring laughter on the hard days when you feel like pulling your hair out. My posts are meant to help you hang in there when you feel like giving up. Join us at Me Too Moments for Moms to connect with other moms seeking faith and joy in this season of life.
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Great advice! I loved your resources. I’m a mom of teens and this still happens to me so it’s important to have a game plan of how to respond. Sometimes people just want to be heard and it’s enough to mirror back their comments without agreeing with them to let them know you understand what they are saying. Choosing kindness even when others are not is difficult but worth it. Thanks for writing! Visiting from #MMBH
Thank you Angela for coming by and sharing!!! It is important to let other concerned adults feel heard. Especially if they are related and they are involved in our children’s lives. Thank you for encouraging us to choose kindness. I’m learning that sticking to facts and pointing out the good always helps. And unfortunately I’m leaning with some not to even bring parenting subjects up with them.