Are our children going to turn out fine no matter what?  Is it all out of our control?  I have read comments stating that being a stay-at-home mom does not matter.  The choices we make as moms has no effect on our children. I think-as a mom of four who has been doing this parenting thing for 10 years now-every choice we make when it comes to how we spend time with our kids, and how much time we spend with them-matters. I have some info to back that statement up.
Mom holding newborn baby close. Text reads does being a stay at home mom matter?
"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."


Does Being A Stay-at-Home Mom Matter When Raising Children?


If anyone forms an opinion from their personal experiences suggesting that how we raise our children DOES matter, they are called judgmental. Too opinionated. Offensive. I guess what we should do is ignore our experiences and just float around making decisions based on how we feel in the moment. It’s safer. No one will hate you or call you judgmental if you eliminate opinions and live moment to moment.


Aren’t we supposed to base our decisions on our experiences mixed with our values? Isn’t that using our best judgement as moms?


I read Doing Time: What It Really Means To Grow Up in Daycare written by May Saubier. Her experiences in the book are so similar to mine when I was a caregiver in childcare centers.
Ms. Saubier worked in a “good” center, and yet, it was still a business where money dictated care.
Money comes up a lot when we talk about childcare. Childcare centers say they need more money to provide quality care. Parents who use daycare centers are constantly saying their “quality care” is too expensive.
For some reason as soon as you mention daycare, suddenly the type and “quality of care” that children receive matters so much that we should spend more money on it.  If what a caregiver in a center does with our children matters, then what we do as parents matters too.
The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide

Ms. Saubier points out in her book that in a typical infant room, there are 4 babies per adult. Generally infant rooms are full (8 babies per 2 caregivers) because they are the money-makers in centers and there is so much demand for infant care. This was my experience when working as a caregiver in infant rooms as well.


If you had 4 babies on your own, as a stay-at-home mom, would you be by yourself? Would you have to sit in a room for 8 hours all alone juggling the care of 4 helpless infants? As the mom of twins, I can tell you caring for two babies at one time is challenge enough! It was overwhelming and draining. 


Family, friends, church members, neighbors, would come out of the woodwork to help you. They would hold babies, feed babies, fold laundry, provide meals. They’d probably do this even if you only had twins…only, ha!


I had twins, and I had family show up to help in shifts. Friends brought meals. A couple friends even came over and hung out while I folded some laundry, so I had adult company.


In a childcare center, at one point, I was taking care of 4 babies on my own. Yes, I received a 15-minute break every 4 hours. Yes, I received a lunch break that did not require me to care for the babies during that time. But for 4 hours straight, I was caring for 4 babies with my two hands.


I was feeding, changing diapers, and crib sheets. Checking the boxes on the required activity plans for each child. (Oh, and you can’t prop up a bottle so you better grow some more arms because all the babies will be hungry at once.)


It doesn’t matter, though, right? These babies were not affected by it at all.




I have seen many, many children in center-based daycare: Low-income kids in Minneapolis, teachers’ kids in Colorado, and Air Force kids in North Dakota.


Every one of them needed and wanted more time with their parents. 


We may not have realized what we were diving into with this motherhood role, but it is our life and our children. We can’t throw our hands up and say it doesn’t matter.


Once the blessing of children is given to us, we have to learn what is best and implement that as much as we possibly can.  Our children DO matter. 

How we spend time with them matters.


How much time we spend with them matters.


So, yes, being a stay-at-home mom does matter. 


(And, no, working moms we are not judging you.)

Being a stay-at-home mom matters.

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Mom breastfeeding baby. Text reads Does being a stay at home mom matter?

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