Try four hours of sleep MAX per night, two sore biceps from carrying two babies around, and a memory that is lifeless. That is life with twins during the first year.
When I was pregnant with my twins (baby 3 & baby 4), I read a lot about twin development during pregnancy. I asked friends who are twin moms for their experiences. I recalled life as an infant caregiver in daycare centers where 4 babies for every 1 adult is the norm.
But, I kept asking myself, how were we going to care for two babies!?
These truths I hold self-evident:
I did not know that two babies would breastfeed every 45 minutes for the first 6 months.
I was unprepared that babies sharing the same room was both the worst and best idea going.
I also had no way to predict how strong I could become to tackle it all and still smile at the end of most days.
I know this post sounds very specific to a mothers of twins and multiples, but it is also for you moms of single babies.
The days where we wonder how we are going to make it through; how are we going to face another night of sleep deprivation, another day of wanting to get a break?
For me, the only thing that helps all the time is prayer.
Think about this:
1) You are holding one baby, the other baby is standing between your legs grabbing for you to pick him up as well…which you will do, eventually.
2) You are in the hospital, not quite ready to work on breastfeeding two babies at one time, so you get one and start feeding. Moments into nursing, the other baby wakes up. Dad gets baby 2. You feed baby 1 secretly hoping he eats as fast as he can. Then you hand baby 1 to Dad, take baby 2 and start feeding again.
3) Both babies crying at the same time…in the middle of the night…during diaper changes when you start waking both to feed them at the same time. They will both cry, scream, wanting you. You will feel your blood pressure rise making you move quicker, but feeling as if you cannot move fast enough.
That is life with twins.
Preparing for Life with Twins
No one prepared me for reality.
Be sure you have a source of strength. I prayed.
I prayed when there was more crying than I had patience to hear. I prayed when I got both babies to sleep, got a shower, and was faced with hungry babies right after. I prayed when people who meant well said, “Try to take a nap,” or, “It will get better, hang in there,” or “I don’t envy you.”
I might not have been prepared for the challenges, but I love these babies.
Your heart will be full enough. Your patience level will grow. Your house will never be as clean. (Well, maybe when they are grown and moved out.)
And, you will cling to what gives you strength like no time before.
Strength as a Mom of Twins
I have no other answer for “How do you do it?” than God. My faith grew when I found out I was having twins. That increase was necessary when both babies needed to be held, fed, changed, and played with- at the same time.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds” is not something I can say. It is hard! The challenge each day is like a mountain designed for only you to climb. You are the only one who can be mother to these babies.
So gain strength, fill up on love from those who care about you, and march forward.
Don’t forget to soak in the days, no matter how rough. The tough days of being a mom end up being the days that define your journey. You grow so much.
I look back on the first year of having twins, and it was not quick, but it was fleeting. The tiny babies who nuzzled my neck grew bigger. The helpless newborns who cried for me when I walked away for a potty break became crawlers who hunted me down.
Just as they are your world, you are their world too. You are their definition of love.
We may not rest. We may not sleep – much – but we love as strong and deep as it can go.
That is life with twins.
(And, yes, I look tired in that picture, because I was!)