There aren’t always solutions to parenting challenges other than sticking to what you are already doing. Time and patience are often all that is needed. This is easy to forget when you are an overwhelmed mom.
Being a parent is a mission with long term goals requiring long term vision. When you are an overwhelmed mom, this is tough!
Trying to apply a solution can often result in a quick fix to your challenge of the day, but these quick fix easy solutions lead to long term bad habits.
Whether it be a toddler meltdown in Target, a child whining for a treat in the grocery store, or a major tantrum during clean up time, these moments can make us think the immediate solution appears best.
It may stop the behavior for the moment.
If we give in, do for our kids instead of standing our ground, or try to stop the crying when they just need to throw a little fit to release those emotions, the behaviors we are trying to stop will just be refueled for the next time.
Long term success in parenting and motherhood is what we want.
Overwhelmed Mom: Tips to Successful Parenting
When you are an overwhelmed mom, resist the urge to choose the easy, immediate solution. Focus on some steps to staying calm, sticking to your family’s values, and successfully parenting for the long term.
Ask for help, but mentally prepare yourself that you may have to just do it yourself.
I know everyone says, “Let me know if you need anything.” Yet, these offers of help are often from other moms in the same season of life dealing with their own overwhelmed days.
We are all in this together, but we still each need to attend to our own families. We can’t expect someone to rescue us in every overwhelming motherhood moment.
I know as a military wife, this is easier for me to stick to versus those who have family and close friends living within close distance. Just remember, your circus, your monkeys. Pray through it!!
If you do really need help and can’t seem to find someone to give you a break or offer assistance, read this post and then move to my next tip.
Stop doing the “extras.”
Overwhelm can sneak in when we start on the path of fitting in our me time only to find that we have over committed ourselves.
Over-committed moms never result in successful families.
We have to sacrifice. That is just the way we are made.
Time to recharge as a mom is super important. But, getting obsessed with me time is not good.
Cut out extra projects whether it be crafts, Facebook scroll time, or more than one outing with the kids per day. Settle into focus on the family, attending to needs, and things will get back into balance.
Focus on needs.
Our overwhelm as moms is often linked to kids wanting a lot of our attention and trying to keep up with housework.
I have been there many, many times and still have days where I have to remind myself of this all-too-important step 3.
Needs are our job. What we do as stay-at-home moms is make the needs of our home and family-including ourselves-our priorities. But I said NEEDS not WANTS.
Tricky to separate the two sometimes I know.
Do clothes need to be put away?
Read your child two books and then tell them you have to put the laundry away before reading any more.
Need to make a phone call?
Put on a quick DVD or Netflix show to help keep your child engaged with something so you can make that call. Then sit with them after to spend some time together finishing the show or reading a book.
Everyone getting bored but you need to be home to do the laundry and dishes?
Set up some simple hands-on learning activities for toddlers or preschool centers on the dining room table. Quick go-to activities help kids feel special (because you made it for them) and keep their brain occupied so you can fold, put away, wash, and clean.
Order dinner or make a quick simple meal for dinner.
It is ok to order takeout now and then even as moms at home committed to making our families homemade meals every night.
We need breaks too and when you are an overwhelmed mom, a break from cooking dinner may just help get over the tough day.
Meal delivery services may help one day a week or more. Meal planning cuts grocery cost and keeps you more organized. But just know a pizza or Chinese food now and then can help. It is about balance.
Message a friend who has helped you before.
Sometimes just thanking someone, reaching out to offer affirmations, being grateful for what and who we have in our corner, can take the edge off of a really bad day.
Text another mom and ask how her day is going. Sometimes others are in a tougher challenge or can even relate to your day.
Set up a time to get together or even that same day drive through Starbucks and bring them a coffee while the kids play together to reset together.
Connection and fellowship with other moms – making mom friends – is so important!
Give yourself forgiveness.
We may have to set that crying baby down for 5 minutes while we switch laundry loads. It can feel painful to hear them and need to attend to household tasks.
Get a great baby carrier to wear baby while you work around the house. I used both a Bjorn baby carrier with my oldest two and then chose a K’Tan carrier for the twins.
Grace is essential in motherhood. We won’t always be able to do all the things all the days. We can however focus on balance by following these 6 tips when you are an overwhelmed mom.
A bad day rarely leads to another bad day. Find balance as a mom and remember that overwhelm is a lot about mindset which can always be adjusted.
I am in this motherhood season with you! What do you do to get through the overwhelming days of being a mom?
Enjoy your time at home!
I’ve just read this post. Wow Jaimi, I so love your unique perspective on this. It’s really counter cultural, and I think that makes it more valuable – I needed to hear this today. I often find it difficult balancing ‘me time to get energy to be a better mum’ with ‘forget about myself and just focus on being a mum’. It’s a constant struggle!
Also, balancing asking for help with just getting through on your own. Both so valuable – being humble and growing through community, while also being able to persevere and grow through the hard days on your own.
Thanks for sharing. I’m going to post this to my mama community right now 🙂
Jaimi Erickson says
I am so glad it was helpful and can bless other mamas. 🙂