I just wanted a break. I had been up since 2AM. My toddler did not need sleep-apparently. My wake-up call for the day happened at a time when during my college years I would just have been going to bed. I reached my limit as a mom.
Ah, but this is adulthood. Adulthood with two kids, a husband who was working Monday through Friday 3 hours away and not coming home at night during the week. There was no ‘normal’ in our lifestyle when Daddy was often gone, and home, and then gone again.
I hit this wall many days when the job of parenting falls all on me without the relief at dinner time of Daddy walking in the front door. Even though, the parenting duties primarily fall on my shoulders, just his presence in the evening, his adult conversation, makes the last hours of the day feel easier-most of the time.
Daddy wasn’t coming home that night and when mommy had been working since 2 AM, dinner time felt like it took an eternity to reach.
By dinner, my limit had been met. I was running on fumes as I tried to have a focused conversation with my husband on the phone. It was not working. The kids did not stop for a phone call.
While reading books during our bedtime routine, I felt my brain completely turn to mush. I cherished the cuddles and snuggles while we read together, and breathed through my last few minutes with my children for that evening.
It was not until I sat reading in my own bed after the children were asleep that I came across a quote that brought tears to my eyes after a very draining day:
“My God, against all odds, made me a mother. There aren’t enough words to acknowledge what that means to me.”–Susan Besze Wallace from the ‘Acknowledgments’ section in the book she edited, entitled, Always There: Reflections for Mom’s on God’s Presence, copyright 2012 by MOPS International.
“There aren’t enough words…”
The day had been long. (Did I mention it had started at 2AM?!?!) I was focusing too much on me. Yes, I NEED sleep to be healthy, but not as much as I want. No, we DO NOT typically wake up at 2AM.
God MADE ME A MOTHER. HE knows I can do it. HE knows I can get through it. HE knows I can make it count if I am open to the lessons it provides.
We may have had the tv on too long that day. My brain was on auto-pilot for a bit during the overwhelming moments. I just needed a breather.
I still spent that time with my children. I still performed my job as ‘mom’ that God gave to me-a job of service, immeasurable humility and great strength. I don’t always feel that I do it with the most grace, but Faith I have plenty of.
Sleep will happen-eventually. Children will have their needs met.
There definitely are not enough words to explain the kind of gratitude I feel for the opportunity to face the challenges of motherhood every day. Devotion to my job of ‘mother’, the ability to stick with it when I would rather turn in my resignation papers, is not handled by me alone. I can’t stick with it by myself.
God does it with me. There just aren’t enough words to express what that means.
How do you push through the tough moments and keep in perspective the importance of being present with your children?
This is beautiful, Jaimi! Somehow, we moms are able to function even with the worst sleep deprivation. It really helps to have a positive attitude about it.
I can sooo relate! Even today we had one of those afternoons (the kind that end in many tears for Mama…) and I just felt so inadequate as a Mom. I had to repeat to myself umpteen times "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…ALL things 🙂
Rach, I know what you mean. I recently heard in a sermon at my home church that God does not care about our comfort, he cares about our maturity. Although, we like to think that "getting life right" means ease, I think many times when we are following God's lead we will feel challenged and it only brings us closer to Him. You CAN do all things through Christ! I wish you well and know, I have many days like this as well. Thanks for stopping by to share here.
Came to your blog from Magic Moments Monday. Thanks for sharing there! Loved reading this gem of a post that we should all read like 10X a day! thank you!
Thanks for stopping by! I am so glad to hear that you think this post can be helpful. I need to revisit it myself many times many days. Raising a family is hard work, but we can do it. Take care!
I just stumbled upon your blog today! I am in tears after reading these words 🙂 I needed a little encouragement- I'm looking forward to reading your other posts. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You are so welcome! I am glad that it touched you and was helpful. Hard days are hard, but they get balanced out with the great ones full of smiles and giggles and great times with our children. I wish you the best and am glad to know you will be reading a bit more. Come back any time! Take care.
I can't tell you how much this meant to me today! I too have a husband who works odd hours and more often then not, the parenting job rests on my shoulders. I am a new mom to a sweet baby girl who is now 8 months old. Over the last 8 months I have had some seriously trying times. Like this weekend…I have been faced with housing a friend who was in need for five days, a husband away at work all weekend, my baby has her first upper respiratory infection which has created a baby so unlike the one I've gotten to know the last 8 months, and this morning I woke to a house that was 54 degrees because we ran out of heat! WHEW! But God has always brought me through! He called me to be a mom to this sweet baby of mine and I couldn't feel more privileged to be her mommy right now! To hold her in my arms because that's the only place she feels comfortable enough while she sleeps is more precious than I can describe. I know that when God calls you to do something so specific in life, He will always qualify you to do the job! Even on those days when you feel so under qualified! And words will never describe the joy and happiness that comes from it all! Even in the tough moments!
When I read your comment, I was thinking, look at the list of your accomplishments in such a short time: helping a friend in a very important way, being present for your child and caring for her while she is sick, holding down the fort while your husband works away, and the annoying challenges like no heat! (Things like that always happen when our husbands are gone!!) Your perspective is so great to be positive and look to God. I try my best to do that as well. All the best to you and your family!
As always you are right. I remember you talking me through some pretty tough times with Madeline, and I appreciated your insight and suggestions. I have to ask though how did your day start at 2 AM? I nearly died of exhaustion when I read that.
You are giving me too much credit with this one! I am not always right, but all a friend can do is offer their two cents with the intention/hope of possibly helping, but no crystal ball has been found yet. I keep trying to locate it!! As far as the day beginning at 2AM, that is Miss A. During that time when the hubs was TAD mucho, she had very poor sleep habits. She was scared by him being gone and not knowing why. (She was probably less than a year or just over a year when I originally jotted the above post in my personal journal.) So she woke up about 2AM crying, and I went in her room to rock her, put her back in her bed, walked out to go back to sleep, and she probably woke up as soon as she realized that I was gone. She probably cried for a few minutes and then I was back in her room-this was the time when she would be up for two hours at night for no reason. By the time 5AM rolled around, I took her out of bed, started the coffee pot, and we began our day. So, the start of 2AM just means that that was really when I was woken up and never was allowed to go back to sleep. Crazy, huh!? That is Miss A. As we say, she has no rhyme or reason. There is no parenting book that spells her out. We just adjust our expectations of what she will do and needs from us. Luckily there weren't many days like that, but definitely a small handful.
I completely relate! My husband works for the railroad and I've spent the majority of the last 5 years by myself raising children. We have 3 now. 5 yrs, 3 yrs and 15 months. He was gone Sunday evening through Thursday night every week for all but 9 months off and on during that 5 years. Sometimes, the tv was neccessary for my sanity and survival. I have so much empathy for you!
I completely relate! My husband works for the railroad and I've spent the majority of the last 5 years by myself raising children. We have 3 now. 5 yrs, 3 yrs and 15 months. He was gone Sunday evening through Thursday night every week for all but 9 months off and on during that 5 years. Sometimes, the tv was neccessary for my sanity and survival. I have so much empathy for you!
Rachel, we can definitely relate to each other on the single-parenting-at-times experience. I learn so much at those times. I certainly think when we screen what our children are viewing on tv so we know what are good shows and which are ones that we want to avoid, tv is not a bad thing in moderation. Our good days of being outside a lot can balance out the days when the tv is on a little too much. All the best to you!
I needed to read this today. My son will be 1 in February, so he's transitioning from baby to toddler… and we've all been sick… and I think he's teething… and my husband works a job with inconsistent hours… and… and…
Sometimes I feel like other moms just handle it better, don't get so overwhelmed as often as I do, handle all the changes that happen just when things feel "settled" better. It's nice to read that other moms feel overwhelmed and that they have days where the TV is on too much, where they are "just there" with their kids, and that it's OK to have days like this.
Inconsistent hours is a tough thing to deal with-and that is when you understand why it is that way, which a child as young as 1 doesn't quite grasp yet. BUT, he has you there consistently. You are his stability and he knows he can count on you. It does at times look like other moms handle motherhood better, but sometimes that is our human tendency to think that we are not good enough. You are uniquely made and prepared to teach your child. It's a match-literally-made in heaven. You are so right, that it is ok to not be on our best game every day. It's a good lesson for our children to see how life works-the great and the not-so-great. We really are teaching them how to cope when we are figuring out how to do it ourselves. I wish you the best!
Thank you for letting me know I am not alone… my husband is an on-the-road truck driver and simply isn't home as much as he'd like to be. Those long days apart without help with the kids can seem so much longer than they actually are but this is a good reminder that God put me here and he'll see me through.
I can connect with EVERY word you wrote. I've been reaching my boiling point a lot lately with my kids. It's amazing how my heart melts for my kids as I put them to bed. Thank you so much for sharing your struggles because you aren't the only one! This was really encouraging and I'd love it if you linked this up to my blog hop at http://carriethishome.com/2013/01/blog-hop/
Carrie, hopefully the link-up went through. Let me know if you don't see it (it was being a little stingy about my image file choices). Thank you so much for your comment. Take care!
Couldn't had read this blog post at a better time. I am a first time mother who quit her job to be a full time mommy to my soon to be 8 month old son. He has a viral infection right now and is miserable as am I! I don't know how you do it!
When the little ones are sick, it is a tough time, but remember that at least you are there for him and he feels loved and safe with you! We all do what we have to do and soak up the smiles on the good days to help carry us through the tougher ones. It will get better! Hang in there.
I absolutely love this quote! I just had my first baby two and a half weeks ago and I am now a stay at home mom- and my stay at home duties… Well I haven't done them yet! Lol. I'm hoping ill get used to little sleep and learn to sleep when she sleeps.
Give yourself a little bit of time to get into a groove especially since you are just starting this job! 🙂 Congrats on the new little one. There are tough times, but so many more wonderful experiences and memories to carry you through. Enjoy that little baby!
[…] other children, there was no way to limit myself at too much. There was only needs to happen. We moms push through even when our cups feel empty. There was a learning curve for all of us in this family with these new babies. My toddler […]
[…] He gives when he could be selfish. He looks out for the needs of his younger siblings and he knows that I can’t do it all. He knows I need his help, and he gives it freely (almost) always. He is a child still. I have to teach him as much as my other children. Often I look at my day and forget all the great things my son did when I feel like I have reached my limit due to the challenges of motherhood. […]
This is beautiful, Jaimi! Somehow, we moms are able to function even with the worst sleep deprivation. It really helps to have a positive attitude about it.
Thank you, Tarana! Attitude is truly everything. Thank you for being part of this series with all of your great insights into motherhood. 🙂
I can sooo relate! Even today we had one of those afternoons (the kind that end in many tears for Mama…) and I just felt so inadequate as a Mom. I had to repeat to myself umpteen times "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…ALL things 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
Rach, I know what you mean. I recently heard in a sermon at my home church that God does not care about our comfort, he cares about our maturity. Although, we like to think that "getting life right" means ease, I think many times when we are following God's lead we will feel challenged and it only brings us closer to Him. You CAN do all things through Christ! I wish you well and know, I have many days like this as well. Thanks for stopping by to share here.
Came to your blog from Magic Moments Monday. Thanks for sharing there! Loved reading this gem of a post that we should all read like 10X a day! thank you!
Thanks for stopping by! I am so glad to hear that you think this post can be helpful. I need to revisit it myself many times many days. Raising a family is hard work, but we can do it. Take care!
What an amazing quote!!! Thank you for that!
You are very welcome. I hope it can help on the challenging days.
Hi Sara, I wish you the best and please stop back. Take care!
Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com
I just stumbled upon your blog today! I am in tears after reading these words 🙂 I needed a little encouragement- I'm looking forward to reading your other posts. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You are so welcome! I am glad that it touched you and was helpful. Hard days are hard, but they get balanced out with the great ones full of smiles and giggles and great times with our children. I wish you the best and am glad to know you will be reading a bit more. Come back any time! Take care.
I can't tell you how much this meant to me today! I too have a husband who works odd hours and more often then not, the parenting job rests on my shoulders. I am a new mom to a sweet baby girl who is now 8 months old. Over the last 8 months I have had some seriously trying times. Like this weekend…I have been faced with housing a friend who was in need for five days, a husband away at work all weekend, my baby has her first upper respiratory infection which has created a baby so unlike the one I've gotten to know the last 8 months, and this morning I woke to a house that was 54 degrees because we ran out of heat! WHEW! But God has always brought me through! He called me to be a mom to this sweet baby of mine and I couldn't feel more privileged to be her mommy right now! To hold her in my arms because that's the only place she feels comfortable enough while she sleeps is more precious than I can describe. I know that when God calls you to do something so specific in life, He will always qualify you to do the job! Even on those days when you feel so under qualified! And words will never describe the joy and happiness that comes from it all! Even in the tough moments!
When I read your comment, I was thinking, look at the list of your accomplishments in such a short time: helping a friend in a very important way, being present for your child and caring for her while she is sick, holding down the fort while your husband works away, and the annoying challenges like no heat! (Things like that always happen when our husbands are gone!!) Your perspective is so great to be positive and look to God. I try my best to do that as well. All the best to you and your family!
As always you are right. I remember you talking me through some pretty tough times with Madeline, and I appreciated your insight and suggestions. I have to ask though how did your day start at 2 AM? I nearly died of exhaustion when I read that.
You are giving me too much credit with this one! I am not always right, but all a friend can do is offer their two cents with the intention/hope of possibly helping, but no crystal ball has been found yet. I keep trying to locate it!! As far as the day beginning at 2AM, that is Miss A. During that time when the hubs was TAD mucho, she had very poor sleep habits. She was scared by him being gone and not knowing why. (She was probably less than a year or just over a year when I originally jotted the above post in my personal journal.) So she woke up about 2AM crying, and I went in her room to rock her, put her back in her bed, walked out to go back to sleep, and she probably woke up as soon as she realized that I was gone. She probably cried for a few minutes and then I was back in her room-this was the time when she would be up for two hours at night for no reason. By the time 5AM rolled around, I took her out of bed, started the coffee pot, and we began our day. So, the start of 2AM just means that that was really when I was woken up and never was allowed to go back to sleep. Crazy, huh!? That is Miss A. As we say, she has no rhyme or reason. There is no parenting book that spells her out. We just adjust our expectations of what she will do and needs from us. Luckily there weren't many days like that, but definitely a small handful.
Have you no family near by?
No unfortunately we do not live near family. I wish they lived closer!
I completely relate! My husband works for the railroad and I've spent the majority of the last 5 years by myself raising children. We have 3 now. 5 yrs, 3 yrs and 15 months. He was gone Sunday evening through Thursday night every week for all but 9 months off and on during that 5 years. Sometimes, the tv was neccessary for my sanity and survival. I have so much empathy for you!
I completely relate! My husband works for the railroad and I've spent the majority of the last 5 years by myself raising children. We have 3 now. 5 yrs, 3 yrs and 15 months. He was gone Sunday evening through Thursday night every week for all but 9 months off and on during that 5 years. Sometimes, the tv was neccessary for my sanity and survival. I have so much empathy for you!
Rachel, we can definitely relate to each other on the single-parenting-at-times experience. I learn so much at those times. I certainly think when we screen what our children are viewing on tv so we know what are good shows and which are ones that we want to avoid, tv is not a bad thing in moderation. Our good days of being outside a lot can balance out the days when the tv is on a little too much. All the best to you!
It gets better, it really does, and it is worth the wait, but yes, this is the HARDEST job. Being a "good enough" mum IS good enough 🙂
Yes, we really are each uniquely made to be the best mom for OUR children. We can teach them so much. Thanks, Alison!
I needed to read this today. My son will be 1 in February, so he's transitioning from baby to toddler… and we've all been sick… and I think he's teething… and my husband works a job with inconsistent hours… and… and…
Sometimes I feel like other moms just handle it better, don't get so overwhelmed as often as I do, handle all the changes that happen just when things feel "settled" better. It's nice to read that other moms feel overwhelmed and that they have days where the TV is on too much, where they are "just there" with their kids, and that it's OK to have days like this.
Thank you so much!
Inconsistent hours is a tough thing to deal with-and that is when you understand why it is that way, which a child as young as 1 doesn't quite grasp yet. BUT, he has you there consistently. You are his stability and he knows he can count on you. It does at times look like other moms handle motherhood better, but sometimes that is our human tendency to think that we are not good enough. You are uniquely made and prepared to teach your child. It's a match-literally-made in heaven. You are so right, that it is ok to not be on our best game every day. It's a good lesson for our children to see how life works-the great and the not-so-great. We really are teaching them how to cope when we are figuring out how to do it ourselves. I wish you the best!
Thank you for letting me know I am not alone… my husband is an on-the-road truck driver and simply isn't home as much as he'd like to be. Those long days apart without help with the kids can seem so much longer than they actually are but this is a good reminder that God put me here and he'll see me through.
Absolutely! As long as we can keep in mind that this is where God has us and needs us right now, I think there is no way we can fail! We can do it!
Jaimi–yes it worked! Thank you so much for linking up! Feel free to come back every week!
Great!
I can connect with EVERY word you wrote. I've been reaching my boiling point a lot lately with my kids. It's amazing how my heart melts for my kids as I put them to bed. Thank you so much for sharing your struggles because you aren't the only one! This was really encouraging and I'd love it if you linked this up to my blog hop at http://carriethishome.com/2013/01/blog-hop/
Carrie, hopefully the link-up went through. Let me know if you don't see it (it was being a little stingy about my image file choices). Thank you so much for your comment. Take care!
Couldn't had read this blog post at a better time. I am a first time mother who quit her job to be a full time mommy to my soon to be 8 month old son. He has a viral infection right now and is miserable as am I! I don't know how you do it!
When the little ones are sick, it is a tough time, but remember that at least you are there for him and he feels loved and safe with you! We all do what we have to do and soak up the smiles on the good days to help carry us through the tougher ones. It will get better! Hang in there.
Well said. Thanks for sharing!
You bet!
Beautiful! And exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much for sharing this.
I am so glad that it connected with you. I think I will have to re-read it myself on the tough days. Take care!
I absolutely love this quote! I just had my first baby two and a half weeks ago and I am now a stay at home mom- and my stay at home duties… Well I haven't done them yet! Lol. I'm hoping ill get used to little sleep and learn to sleep when she sleeps.
Give yourself a little bit of time to get into a groove especially since you are just starting this job! 🙂 Congrats on the new little one. There are tough times, but so many more wonderful experiences and memories to carry you through. Enjoy that little baby!