As the Mother of A Son

Considering my role as the mother of a son, every day I set an example. I am not only sharing with him how he is loved. When my sons see my interactions with my husband, I am defining an example of a wife. I got to thinking…

Why is it that when women get together we often complain or joke about our husbands?

I have on occasion been with a group of friends and taken part in this little, “Can you believe what he did/does?” conversation. I have shared a story or two. It is always one of those moments where the ‘filter’ fails and my mouth moves faster than my brain.

In the end I wish I could hit rewind. I thought about what my participation in this sort of sharing might set as an example for my son (and of course my daughter too).

If I love my husband, I should want to lift him up, not tear him down.

How does it feel as a man, as a husband, to be belittled by your wife?

What does this example teach my son?

That men are loved and respected or that they are a joke.

My guess is that it feels just as bad as if I as a wife were publicly ridiculed by my husband. It would feel not very nice.

In that moment, my mind replayed my own rants about clothes not making it into the hamper or my husband not reading my mind when I was upset. (No one can read minds, why would I expect that he possessed that power?)

Sometimes I am very petty and not a very good wife. I have asked God, and will continue to ask, for forgiveness for this. I set an example in my home of how a wife acts.

Sometimes I set a good example and many times I have not.

As the mother of a son, there is great responsibility on my shoulders. I must raise my sons to become men while considering that they might one day become husbands. Maybe one day down the road they will become fathers as well. (Way down the road!)

Yet, my sons are my little boys today. I have a husband to help me in this so the weight is on his shoulders as well to set an example of what a man, husband and father can be.

I want my sons to expect respect, consideration, love, patience, and support.

I want my sons to learn that these qualities are what make a good wife. I don’t want my son to expect ridicule or belittling.

I want my son to marry a woman who loves and respects him. That requires him to learn to love and respect as well.

What we learn to expect of ourselves is what we learn to look for in others.

I must display these traits to my husband. I certainly will not always agree with him but, we can keep our disagreements within our home and not share them out in public. Disagreements happen, and when resolved through respectful means are healthy-we don’t hide them from our children.

Love is patient, kind and humble.

I do not need to belittle my husband or brag about him. God chose him for me. I want that to be taught to my children. (Like I said, I am working on it!)

As the mother of a son, I must show how a wife can respect and be kind to a husband. My husband in turn must show how to respect and love a wife-like Christ loved the Church. He died for the church, so that level of love is worth working towards and maintaining!

Right now I have two little boys, but I am raising men.

As the mother of a son, the lessons for the future must be taught today. I must change myself to set a better example…as a wife and as the mother of a son.

As the mother of a son, how do you think you are setting an example to benefit your son?

This post is featured in A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms: When You Need to Work on Your Marriage. View all of the encouraging articles with marriage tips HERE.

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Comments

motherofason says
February 15, 2013 at 6:57 pm

You will make a difference, because you have a different point of view. Kudos to you! I am the mother of a now grown son. I marvel at him every day and am proud of the man he's become. My heart soared the first time he brought a young woman home and cooked dinner for her…setting the table and making some of his favourites. Salut to all mothers of sons. Share your stories at motherofason.wordpress.com

- Jaimi says
  February 18, 2013 at 4:54 pm
  
  It's a unique challenge, raising boys to be men. Sounds like you have much experience to share. Thanks for commenting and leaving your link for others who may be interested. Take care!
  
Clarissa Padilla says
October 7, 2012 at 11:07 pm

I couldn't agree more. I have been blessed with 2 sons and my biggest concern was always how they will treat their wife. But you are right. I want their wives to respect them too. I guess I need to step up my game as a mom once again.

- Jaimi says
  October 10, 2012 at 5:55 pm
  
  Doesn't it seem that we always have to look at ourselves as we approach this role of parenting our children? That is the frustrating part, for sure. Setting the example and continuing to grow ourselves really benefits our kids. I am so glad that this connected with you. We really are so influential in the lives of our children. Cheers to you for wanting to be the best mom (and wife) that you can be. I wish you well! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this post.
  
- Amanda Purvis says
  November 14, 2012 at 6:12 pm
  
  This really hit home. I'm young, married, and a mother of not only one son, but two. I try very hard to respect my husband and it's really hard at times. Considering, we both are never on the same brain wave. You really inspired me to try harder on a lot of things. Thanks.
  
- Jaimi says
  November 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm
  
  Amanda, that is all any of us can do who want the next generation to be better than we are: just try harder. I know I am still learning and trying to be a better version of myself every day-many days I fail. Tomorrow is another day to try again. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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