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What Do Stay-at-Home Moms Do All Day?

September 18, 2011 by Jaimi Erickson 10 Comments

Ready to have the ENERGY to be the best mom you can be? Get started! Thanks for stopping by!

Welcome back! Did you already get started here?

Ever been asked what you do as a stay-at-home mom all day? I have. It used to irritate me until I figured out a way to actually have an answer!

Many SAHMs long for a job outside of the home. It can be difficult to recall what we really do all day when our main task is caring for home and children. Often we can not complete one task before starting another-and really, we do about 100 things at once! For personal reasons, extra money, adult interaction, and others, working outside of the home and leaving our children in daycare can seem like the better route at times. I suppose that’s the way the world works: we always want what we don’t have. The grass always appears greener on the other side of the fence.

 

Honestly, I remember the friends of mine who have lost a baby (myself included), tried to get pregnant and failed, or tried for a long time before getting pregnant, or are unable to have children when I have a rough day at home with my children.  These women want a life with kids, and sometimes I am not sure I can take another day.

I love my life, but it is not easy.

I sit in my world and get very self-centered at times: no one appreciates me, I can’t take any more whining, if they ask me where the band-aids are one more time…

No one thinks staying home is easy, especially those of us who do it. Not that working outside of the home is easy either, but the ‘me time’ is built into the situation.  When I worked, the commute was heaven.  It was my time to cool down from my crazy day dealing with children in my preschool classes before I got home to my husband.  I would listen to music, or drive in complete silence depending on my mood. It was ‘my’ time and a little traffic jam was just another added amount of time that I got to myself.

Now, ‘my time’ is my family. That is what I signed up for when my husband and I decided to start a family. I just decided that is how I am going to view it.  I asked for this, I wanted it, I got it, and I am not going to wish it away! Motherhood is a calling.

I made the choice to have children and need to accept all that that gift requires me to sacrifice. I decided to put another life ahead of mine in the line of priority.

 

You are living every day to give every day!

 

Some people struggle with what they will leave to the world when they die. Some people wonder who will remember them when they are no longer alive. I don’t think we stay-at-home moms have to worry about those questions being unanswered. How precious to have our ‘job’ and our ‘service’ in this life be linked together! We really are great multi-taskers, aren’t we?

 

 

What DO stay-at-home moms do all day?

 

You SERVE every day.  

 

You GIVE every day.  

 

You SACRIFICE every day.

 

You MOTIVATE, EDUCATE, NOURISH, ENRICH, LOVE, and LIVE UNSELFISHLY EVERY SINGLE DAY!  

 

You are BEAUTIFUL. 

 

You hold VALUE!

 

You provide this world the promise that your children will be productive citizens.  You make sure they are prepared to enter school, social situations, and the world with the skills required to give more than they take.

Yes, it is a heavy burden.  It does not earn gold stars, bonuses, promotions, degrees.  It requires you to recognize your own value.

Reassure yourself that what you do every day contributes to not only your family, but the greater good.  

Some days I wish I could get more ‘thank yous’ from my children and husband.  If you volunteered at a food shelter and complained about not getting a ‘thank you’ after you placed mashed potatoes on each person’s plate, you would feel pretty petty.  Why is it that we SAHMs worry about not getting enough payback from this job of taking care of children, a spouse, and a home?

 

Pay attention to the small things.

 

How can you feel successful as a stay-at-home mom? What do you say when people ask you what you do all day? Here is a tip tip help!

How you know you matter

Just yesterday, my husband said to me, “Weren’t you going to get your hair done? When are you going to do that?”  I told him, “I am not sure when I can schedule it.  It would have to be a Saturday when you are home.”  He replied, “That’s fine. Just be sure you come back.”

Wait. What?  Yep, he implied that I may have too nice of a time on my own away from him and our children that I could choose to just not show up at home ever again.  (He was joking. I would never consider this…well, maybe only in the midst of teething wake-up calls through the night, and major temper tantrums, but other than those two times, never!!)  Now, if I was not paying attention I may have missed a major gold-star-receiving moment!  He told me he needs me, and that he values the time I give him and our family. Now THAT is recognition.  That is better than a pay increase or a promotion.  I can keep his comment to fuel my value for a long time.

Feed yourself with value and soak up the moments that reward you instead of not recognizing them.  Pay it forward.  You are on the greenest pasture; no need to look over to the other side of the fence.  You have got what many want. What a gift! You do plenty every day. 

What are the tough challenges that make you wonder if staying home is worth it? 

 

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This post is featured in 
A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms:
When You Need Encouragement.


 
I selected this post to be featured on Top Mommy Blogs. 
 
 
For more posts about how valuable you are as a stay-at-home mom:
 
Motherhood is a Calling
Motherhood is Not Easy
Successful Mom Daily Checklist to help you gain balance between housework and play time with the kids. Get more done, and feel more successful as a mom and homemaker.

Enjoy your time at home!

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Filed Under: motherhood, motivation

Comments

  1. Amanda says

    January 23, 2018 at 6:48 am

    Thank you for this post. I desperately needed it today. I have two very active boys! A 7 year old and a 4 year old. They are my sweethearts and will argue if you say otherwise , but mom sure gets tired sometimes. Trying to beat the SAHM guilt is hard. People criticize and say that you are lazy. Or “how can you put all that pressure on your husband by not getting job!” That’s the one that hurts the most. Acting like I’m a bad wife by staying home with my children. I am where my husband wants me. At home. I’m where I want to be. At home. And guess what, I do work at home! I teach piano lessons at a Christian school one day a week where my son attends, and I play for chorus there as well. I’m able to take my little one wi H me. and I also teach piano one day a week here at home. And I bake cakes. A lot of us Stay at home moms work really hard to help out in ways where we are still able to be home with our children. To me, the rewards of being at home with my babies from day one on up are so much greater than having a career. That’s time I can never get back, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. ❤️

    Reply
    • Deepika says

      March 20, 2018 at 5:47 am

      Because you are at home your husband will be going to office peacefully. I would love the option where I can go to work with no care in the world. You are giving that opportunity to your husband

      Reply
  2. Jeni says

    October 18, 2015 at 3:17 am

    I just wanted to thank you for this; I can’t even begin to tell you how much I needed that! I am a stay at home mom to my 17 month old daughter, and have been since the day she was born. She is the absolute love of my life and I am so very blessed. I won’t lie though, having worked full time from the age of 17 until I had Anya at age 32, staying home was (and sometimes still is) a huge transition. I get lonely sometimes and yes, I do often feel unappreciated. When my boyfriend comes home from work, there is absolutely NOTHING that he HAS to do; I have taken care of it all. I have already cooked dinner for, and fed Anya, fed and walked the dog, done all the dishes and the laundry, packed his lunch for the next day, made dinner for him and have it ready and waiting (not to mention the other 100 things that come up during the day that I take care of!). Then I take Anya upstairs to give her a bath, and also so he can eat in peace and not have her climbing all over him. Then iI read to her and finally, I put her in bed. I do it all, every day. And let me add that I’m not complaining, I’m truly not. I love taking care of my family and running the household. The way I see it is that since I am able to stay home and be with my child each and every day (which I consider to be a gift) while my boyfriend works and pays for everything for our family, then I SHOULD take care of everything at home and with Anya, and I SHOULD make sure that when he gets home he doesn’t have to do anything except relax. I know that makes me old fashioned and probably seems like a slap in the face of feminism, but that is how I feel… And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I have lived in several different states (alone), earned a college degree and had a lucrative career before I had my daughter, so trust me when I say, I don’t “need” a man and I don’t do all I do because I feel like I “have” to, it was my choice. Sorry, I went off on a tangent there for a minute! Anyway, that being said, it would be nice if occasionally I would hear “thank you” because I cooked a great dinner, or because I stuck his favorite candy bar in the lunch I packed for him. Just a little acknowledgement that shows me he notices all that I do for our family… And specifically, all I do for him! Or, (and I would probably have a stroke if this actually happened), if once in a while, he would volunteer to give her a bath, or feed her dinner, just to give me a few minutes to myself. That never happens! It just feels to me like he thinks that because he works and I stay home, that I have it so much easier than he does and that I couldn’t possibly need a break or time to my self because I have had it all day! Oh boy, I’m sorry I rambled on like that, but I don’t have anyone close to me that is a stay at home mom, and therefore understands where I’m coming from. Anyway, I really appreciated that article and I feel a lot better after reading it. It made me think… He may never say “thank you “, but he does show his appreciation in other ways. I need to stop wanting to hear what I think he should say, and accept his way. For example, not too long ago, there was a knock at my door and when I answered it, it was the UPS man with a package addressed to my boyfriend. I called him to tell him it had arrived and he told me to open it for him. When I did, I saw it was the boots I wanted so badly for this winter! I hadn’t even told him about them, he just went on my Amazon wish list, saw them on ther, and ordered them for me! So, I guess i can assume that he was thinking of something nice to do for me, which resulted in him looking up my list in the first place 😉

    Reply
    • Jaimi says

      October 23, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      I think we do get “thank yous” like you said-in subtle ways. I too wish I heard it more, but then when someone does say it, I feel like a million dollars! We do a lot, and we often have to find the satisfaction within ourselves. I hope you can find it and remember all that you really are doing all day. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Nicole says

    November 9, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    I am grateful to be a stay at home mom but definitely have my days when I feel unappreciated. Thank you for your post!

    Blessings,
    Nicole
    WorkingKansasHomemaker.com

    Reply
    • Jaimi says

      November 12, 2013 at 12:59 am

      Nicole, it is the same for me. We have to cultivate that inner peace about it and recognize that we really are contributing so much to our families. I appreciate you stopping by. Your blog is wonderful! I was looking around there just before posting this. I found some new link-ups through you and I am wishing you the best as well!! Thank YOU for stopping by and sharing.

      Reply

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I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having m I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having my babies. I have learned so much from all my children but having my girls is a blessing I never knew I needed. 

Want to eliminate mean girls? Raise daughters to do the opposite.

Want to teach women to better communicate with each other? Raise daughters to listen and articulate.

They are my own little girl group and I am grateful for it. They love me on my bad days and give me compliments I do not even deserve. 

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What are the top lessons you wish girls would learn before becoming adults? 

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Will you be spending time with family for Easter? Will you be spending time with family for Easter? 

My husband’s parents have arrived - adding one more big dog to our house and lots of crafts and fun. We have not seen them since June. Everyone is excited to spend time together.

Both of my big kids have birthdays and we will all get to spend time at the beach this month. Our school work will morph into field trips so we soak up every day we can being present with family. 

I am looking forward to making memories, soaking in time together and celebrating two milestone birthdays - one happening tomorrow. 💛 

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🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all t 🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all the kids actually goes well!!! 🌟 

Ice cream after helped of course. 😂

All prepped for my in-laws coming to visit us after not seeing them since our move last summer. Looking forward to some fun events ahead that will make my kids think they are on spring break but they will technically be field trip days. Check, check. 

Are you guys on spring break this week? What do you have planned?

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Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, fill your mind with encouragement and just keep moving forward. 

Recovery days are not just for working out. They are for the mental state we walk around with too. Yesterday felt heavy. My God is a power lifter and takes the burden away. 

Today will be better.

Today we will rest and refocus.

Hooray for comfy jeans, motivational graphics and the Word to focus on through it all. 

(Faith fashion: @choseninchrist use code Jaimi to save.)

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🌟That Face!!🌟 That little boy is soon to t 🌟That Face!!🌟 

That little boy is soon to turn 13, guys! I mean in a few weeks. 😅

This is a throwback but brings back so many fun memories. 

—————————————

I love creating activities and crafts on the fly. Always have even before my kids were here.

I noticed that my son did not have a lot of little toy people to play with while he was pretending one day. We have a few cylinder blocks in a set. We never used them when we built. I thought we could turn them into little DIY toy people. 

They were so cute and easy to make. It was a preschool art project for him. We made them together.

If you don’t have wooden cylindrical blocks at home, you can use pieces of wood dowel or even a few square blocks glued together. You can even make DIY toy people out of toilet paper tubes. 

🌟Full details through Blog link in bio 🌟

——————————————

I am so excited and yet in complete shock by how fast these little lives grow. I have never missed moments and I am so so grateful especially as we approach the teen years in my house. 💛 Soak up even the hard days of being a mom. TOTALLY worth it. 

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👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out the 👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out there. I try to ignore a lot of them. 😂 

My kids stay up later than most recommend, but so did I when I was a kid. 

She loves to read. She loves to write. Abby writes plays, journal entries, songs and on a bad day she will write her feelings about it all, in depth, no holds barred. 

This night she was trying to finish up a play - setting, character details, order of lines - for a play she made for her younger sister. 

I am so thankful that we can count her love of writing in her free time as school work. I am so thankful that how we do school allows this passion and talent to thrive. She has stacks of drawings, plays and writing blurbs. They are all precious to her.

There are days I question whether this choice or that choice is right or “approved,” but it does not matter when I see my children dive deep into the things they love. 

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Give me my people any day. Family time this Sund Give me my people any day. 

Family time this Sunday was a 5k fundraiser race. We helped raise 💵 for the spouses’ club scholarship fund. Scholarships will be awarded for post secondary education to military kids and spouses. 

If you can choose any action in life, choose to help others. Side bonus when it involves fun family time together.

Best day yet. 💛💛💛

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💛 Friday Introductions💛 It has been a while 💛 Friday Introductions💛

It has been a while since I did a good run-down here to give ya the cliffs notes (are those still a thing) version of me. 👋 

💛 Detroit-born a few blocks from where Eminem lived. The city is still my hometown despite moving away as a kid.

💛 I am a big believer in traditional values, but with a modern woman twist. My husband drives his career and I drive this household.

💛 We live in eastern NC 30 mins from the beach. I want to stay here forever, truly, but military life will come to an end some day...still don’t know specifically when that will be.

💛Born and raised to be a planner, Type A personality, having 4 kids beat that out of me 🤣 and I am very “day at a time” now. 

💛I was a teacher turned stay at home mom turned blogger turned entrepreneur that had to set it all on the back burner a bit to focus on homeschooling my kids. I can only have so much on my plate and complete it successfully. (When we listen, God guides and is loud and clear with His direction. 💛)

💛I believe I can be humble and confident; I can be fully present with my kids and make space to rest and rejuvenate; I believe the biggest successes I will achieve in life will not have a paycheck as its valuation. 

💛I believe that true peace, value and love all come from Jesus. 

You will find me sharing the ups AND the downs of motherhood, wife life, homeschooling and being a Christian woman with the modern day pull to fight what that can mean. (There is def a force trying to convince us to push those values aside, my friends.)

👌What is the cliffs notes version of you? What do you want people to know/realize most of all?

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🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟 Often our c 🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟

Often our children learn hard lessons when they have to move to a new state or school. 

My kids have become all too familiar with this through military life. Every three years they have to make new friends.

It is not always simple.

As a child, my family moved a lot. We were not military, but in junior high I moved to a new state and had to make all new friends.

This was a challenging and even to some extent a traumatic time of life.

Being the new kid, is a humbling experience. Suddenly you are hoping that your peers will want to get to know you and like you. It creates some self-consciousness.

Reading is such a beneficial way to teach children about life lessons. It teaches much more than that. It teaches self esteem through the cuddle time. It teaches language skills, and it teaches children to use their minds to be creative.

As they have grown and navigated more friendships, books are a resource for us to discuss tough challenges. I have found a great series of books that present friendship challenges and help children learn to navigate them.

It just so happens that the author is my neighbor too! How cool is that?! Moms are amazing.

These books will be treasured by your family for their quality values. The @stingrayjelly series teach children how to make friends and navigate friendships to love others well and support them through shared similarities and recognized differences.

Author, Lauren Giannella is a military wife and my neighbor! Anna Perdue is the illustrator and also a military child. 

Read my blog post for details on each book and links to purchase through @barnesandnoble 

We love our military community and all they do to give back.

What are your favorite children’s books that teach children how to make friends or help them maneuver through tough life challenges?

#books #booksforkids #militaryspouse #militaryspouses #militarywife #militarylife #militarykids #teachingkids #goodbooks #readtokids #readingtime #homeschoolreading #homeschoolmoms #eastnc #usmclife #marinecorpsfamily #motherhoodsocial
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