When we become moms, we do not give up everything for our kids. It feels like it many times because we really do not get to choose when it’s time to eat, sleep or even take a shower. That all is done as a knee-jerk reaction to the cues we receive from our families.
It’s a bit melodramatic to say we lose everything, give up all that is “us” and take hold of a different person that we don’t know.
Yes, I did lose a version of myself when I became a mom. A light switch was pushed on that had not had to function before. I went from thinking about me, my goals and my mission to thinking about me (as a mom), my goals and my mission (as a parent)…not so different after all?
Life can feel like a book full of chapters, but I think it is more like a series of books in a collection. They all tell a large story from start to finish and some chapters are very different than others even though the main character lives through it all.
I look at motherhood as taking an “old” me and teaching it over time to be continually changed into a “new” version.
I am still me, with all the previous experiences, goals and missions, but I have to adjust based on the needs around me-and my own.
Motherhood does change us, it doesn’t take away from us at all, but gives us a lot more on our plates. That requires us to scrape away the items that we thought we could manage and now cannot. Caring for lives takes time and attention, and there is nothing wrong with adjusting and changing to meet the goals that come with being a mom.
I am making resolutions this year. Are you?
They are small, they are measurable-either I will be able to say I got up and exercised each day or not-and they are able to fit into my life now in this point of my motherhood journey.
For quite a few years I could not make resolutions because I was completely weighed down with my motherhood duties. I had too much serving, giving and loving to give that I could not take a 20 minute window of time to walk, workout or read a book.
That is changing this year.
I made New Year’s resolutions to let motherhood be my focus again, but to use the new windows of time that growing children give me to pour back into me. That will allow me to pour more into my family, my friends, and my work here at home.
It won’t take anything from my family, it will include them. It won’t be separate from me, it will be caring for me.
New Year’s resolutions for moms can seem daunting. When will we have the time, how can we adjust the daily schedule to make it all work, how will we do it all? I think we need to simplify our idea of what new year’s resolutions for moms look like.
I am sharing some real life from my life as a mom of 4. The challenges happen no matter what age my children reach. But, I want to notice them, view them as the blessings and let them change me to become the best version of me that God needs me to be.
These are my New Year’s resolutions this year.
New Year’s Resolutions for Moms
-Cherish the messy hair days. It doesn’t get better than this.
-Let’s not worry about where a nap happens. Just appreciate however long it lasts.
-Getting angry is normal, but I want to breathe through it to teach my children the strategy for fixing their mistakes and providing logical consequences.
When they write with pen on the coffee table or dry erase marker on the computer screen they will gain the knowledge of how to clean it up…and will be the ones to do it! (Yes, both of these tragedies happened too many times to count…or admit publicly!)
-Being thankful for the clothes that are so plentiful that they pile up. Being thankful for the ability to clean those clothes without much elbow grease.
-Notice when the bookshelf is looking tidy. (Because it happens so rarely.) Also appreciate when the books are scattered everywhere because reading in some form has happened.
–This one will be tough for me: I want to get less annoyed when the playroom looks like a mess, but will try to value the lessons that cleaning up together (even if only every few days) teaches my kids.
-No stressing water on the floor. It is just water. Clean up with a beach towel and all will be well. (Let’s hope this was just water.)
-Do my best to remember that balance is what being a successful mom is about. Dishes may have to wait some days because getting in 20 minutes of exercise or going to playdates are worth the time!
-We can try to appreciate the skill involved in building all the structures with Lego bricks even when they cover the dining room table. The expectation though is that the table will be cleared by meal times because meal time is quality time together.
-Most of all, notice. Notice the moments the kids hug each other. Notice the times when they actually do play on their own leaving my lap and arms free for a bit.
Even beyond noticing, appreciate the times when the kids can’t get close enough. Appreciate when they fight over who gets to sit on my lap, and when they just want to cuddle and read that book again, and again.
I have other goals or New Year’s Resolutions for the year ahead:
- I want to fit in exercise 5 days a week,
- I want to read for at least 20 minutes before bed each night,
- and I want to fit in a daily devotional at some point every day.
Those are simple, concrete, measurable, and I will do them this year!
There is nothing silly about setting goals as a mom.
More New Year’s Resolutions for Moms:
What are your new year’s resolutions?