When we were children, we all observed our parents parenting so we had time to learn about parents and children before we thought about having our own. I thought about all of these experiences and they helped me form the ‘what would I do if that were my kid’ philosophy.
Remember all those things you thought to yourself before having children:
“I would never let my child do that…,”
“If that were my child, I would do x, y, and z…”
Time can change these opinions, but they set us on a path to start parenting intentionally. They can actually be a good thing.
Before I had children I was able to observe parents with their children. There were moments of time that taught me a mother’s best asset. As a teacher and caregiver, the opportunity to observe other parents was present every day.
I felt very comfortable when I had my first child. It wasn’t that I thought I knew it all. I was not scared of motherhood, because I had an idea of what I wanted to teach my child.
I spent time learning from other parents and developed opinions, not of them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ parents, but whether I would imitate or choose another style.
It was a starting point. A place to begin the work of motherhood. It was a mother’s best asset.
I know each child is unique and I do think a parent needs to see what options are out there to develop their own thoughts. We are all lessons for other parents-that is a good thing! We know children do best with expectations, boundaries and guidance-this all requires some pre-planning and time.
I have heard from many who think encouraging stay-at-home moms is not supporting moms who work outside the home. Choosing to stay at home is interpreted as “judging” working moms, so I am told.
The most often quoted verse from the Bible regarding judgment is Matthew 7:1.
“Judge not, that ye be not judged” (KJV).
Judgment ought not to be used to condemn someone. We form an opinion of actions, not of them as a good or bad person. We can choose to do differently without labeling another mother as ‘wrong’.
“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”
Professional athletes make working and training to improve their skills their job. Mothers can’t get better at their role of mom if time is not spent on working to be better-more time than many feel is required.
Time spent on parenting forces us to investigate our philosophy: The boundaries we want to teach our children, the values we want to share, the beliefs we hope to minister to them.
A benefit of being a stay-at-home mom is we think about our parenting actions so much every day because it is our job.
We see a whole picture of our children each day-the good, the bad, and everything in between. It is all information that we can use to be better parents, better mothers, to use our best judgment.
If I only had 3 hours a day with my child, my perspective on my parenting would be much different. I think I would be less confident if I only saw my children during the dinner prep and bedtime portions of the day. My kids are not their best during that time of day. The “witching hour” is not the time to judge your parenting!
We use our ‘better judgment’ to help our skills as a parent grow. That requires time, a lot of it.
It is our best asset as we teach our children the way to go.
What is your best asset as a mother?
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