Tips from a second-time mom about the importance of finding your own support network or mom tribe. It can be hard to find that tribe to support you, but it is so helpful when you have it!

{Guest Post}My 19 month old daughter and I wandered down to our local library the other day so she could pick out books that featured Elmo on the cover (her cute new obsession). When we arrived, I noticed a “Baby Story Time” taking place in the kids’ section – mamas and their new little babies all in a circle reading books. I was a little taken off guard because I used to know the schedule for every Baby Story Time at every nearby library when my daughter was younger, but we had now graduated to the “Toddler Story Time”. Nonetheless, there we were, surrounded by a bunch of babies ranging from about 2 months old to 6 months old.

Being pregnant myself with baby number two and always surrounded by toddler-aged children these days, one would think that I would be interested in watching all of the adorable babies. And don’t get me wrong, the babies were all very cute and cuddly – but I was distracted by something else – something that hit me to my core.

I found myself paying more attention to the new moms and couldn’t help but notice their behavior and listen to their conversation.

I saw these women-bags under their eyes, bodies still not yet fully recovered from pregnancy and childbirth holding their babies in their laps ever-so-gently, and “swapping notes” with each other on each baby’s new milestones, sleeping woes, breastfeeding schedules and baby products. It reminded me of my mom friends, about 16 months ago. It was a surreal reflection of my “new mom” self as I vividly remembered having those exact same conversations and concerns when my daughter was just a few months old.

There is something true and inspiring about seeing a first time mom who’s in the thick of it – just figuring it out as she goes, day by day. They are strong women, surviving and doing the best they can – which is more important than they will ever know.

What struck me even more than seeing myself in these women, was seeing them surrounded by each other – a living, breathing Mom Tribe. They were answering each other’s questions, giving encouragement when needed, laughing at each other’s “new mom” stories and slip-ups. I could literally feel the support radiating from their circle. I was ecstatic to see that these new moms had found each other to lean on.

My number one piece of advice for any new mother is always to, “find a Mom Tribe”.

Do you have a "mom tribe" to support you on your motherhood journey? It can be hard to find that for some moms, but these tips and benefits ring true!

I couldn’t help but think about my own Mom Tribe:

Supportive women who were by my side as I navigated the open seas of being a first time mom. Some I knew before “mommy life,” but many I met along the way – strangers who shared a common interest and found each other in the exact same stage of life. These women were, and still are, invaluable.

They’ve given sound advice when all else had failed, a helping hand when a babysitter cancelled, an ear just to listen to my frantic rant about a rocky day, and praise when I needed to hear it the most. We’ve literally raised our children side-by-side, attending Story Times together, beach outings, family BBQ’s, swim lessons, music classes – the list goes on.

Find your mom tribe! There is no better support and connection for the steep learning curve of motherhood. These tips and benefits are so true!

I treasure these friendships and the sense of knowing that someone else besides my husband has my back while climbing the steep learning curve that’s par for the motherhood course. Watching those new moms in the library that day, I felt a little sad that I would never be a “first time mom” again. I did feel relieved that I would be a vet this time around with baby number two.

I know what to expect.

I’ve developed instincts on what works and what doesn’t (not to say that all babies are the same – but at least I have a past history as a reference).

Most importantly, I’ve established a tried and true Mom Tribe to count on through it all.

A second-time mom shares her thoughts on the importance of having a mom tribe to help you through the challenges of motherhood. Great thoughts from The Mommy Project at The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide.

Have you found your “Mom Tribe”? What tips can you offer for moms still looking for their support network?

Kristin Helms is a San Diego based stay-at-home-mom to a 19 month old daughter and a son on the way. Pre “mommy life” Kristin worked in marketing and public relations in the hospitality industry. In 2013 she made the hard decision to leave a thriving career and stay home to raise her daughter; a life-altering journey she wouldn’t trade for anything.

When she’s not changing diapers or pleading with her picky toddler to take “one more bite of green beans”, she blogs about the humorous and honest side of motherhood over at The Mommy Project, San Diego. She also runs Tribe Magazine, an online publication for women. Connect with her on

Instagram, Twitter, Facebook.

What a great message from, Kristin! I don’t know about you, but when I have had a great “mom tribe” to support me, I feel so much happier as a mom. It can be hard to find that, though.

After moving to CA, I have found it tough to get out enough to connect with a group of moms. I have a few friends that are local, but not a solid group to go to for help and support. It makes the challenging days tougher, for sure. I know from conversations we have shared over on Facebook, that many of you are in the same boat. Here are my tips for finding that mom tribe, or being that support for another mom-which can be even better!

TIPS for Finding YOUR Mom Tribe:

1) Attend a weekly event (at least one), regularly. As you attend an event (like library story time) on a regular basis, you will begin to recognize moms and build up the confidence to sit next to a friendly mom and ask her about herself.

Great conversation starters:

-How old is your child?

-Do you come to the {insert event} often? How do you like it? What other local events have you tried? Any recommendations?

-Isn’t it nice to get to sit down for a moment? These kids keep us busy don’t they?

-Our children look like they are similar in age. Have you had to deal with {picky eating, tantrums, potty training, or other parenting challenge} yet? How have you been working through that.

2) Join a moms group at church or on MeetUp. Church events often have on-site childcare. (The only kind of group care I let my children attend because I can pop in anytime.) MeetUp has many options based on location and interest, so you can cater to you! You know the group with have moms with similar interests or who live in the same location.

3) Don’t stress it if you aren’t finding a moms group that suits you. I spent some time stressing this after moving to California, and it took away from my day-to-day joy of caring for my kids.

We each have different numbers of children and different responsibilities at home. Some mom groups may not fit your values or beliefs. You can still be a great mom even without a support group of moms to help you. Don’t give up!

If you want support and to connect with other moms join our Facebook group. It is a place to vent, share and help each other in those moments when you just need someone who understands!

Thank you so much, Kristin, for such a helpful post sharing how special it is to have a great support network of moms! It is a huge blessing for navigating motherhood, for sure.

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Enjoy your time at home!

Comments

Rebekah @ Surviving Toddlerhood says

September 4, 2015 at 4:31 pm

<3 A momma tribe is so important! I found mine when someone invited me to a Community Bible Study group that had a specific group for pregnant and nursing mommas. Having that in common with the other women definitely helped break the ice and some of the girls there became my closest friends. We actually just went camping last weekend {families included :)}.

- Jaimi says
  
  September 4, 2015 at 6:37 pm
  
  What fun! That is so nice to see that so many moms have that support. It gives the moms who don’t hope that they can still find their tribe! Thanks for sharing Rebekah.

My number one piece of advice for any new mother is always to, “find a Mom Tribe”.

TIPS for Finding YOUR Mom Tribe:

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