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Less than Perfect Mom

January 10, 2016 by Jaimi Erickson 3 Comments

Ready to have the ENERGY to be the best mom you can be? Get started! Thanks for stopping by!

Welcome back! Did you already get started here?

This year, I vow to be a "less than perfect" mom. I am shedding the stuff that doesn't matter to soak up the moments that matter as a mom. Mom Motivation Mondays

Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Heather}

Until this year, I never fully understood what my parents talked about when they said each year went by faster than the last. I am now painfully aware that in order to truly feel the effects of this statement you have to be one of two things: above a certain age or a parent.

As I sit here typing this, I am struck with the thousands of possibilities of what I could resolve to do over the next year. When I was younger I made a resolution simply out of tradition. I never really thought too deeply about it. I just picked something and went with it. Eventually, in my twenties I simply gave up on resolutions. I didn’t have the time or the notion to make a silly resolution I knew in my heart I wasn’t going to accomplish.

Imagine my surprise when this year I started coming around to the idea of making a resolution. At first, I was alarmed my perspective was changing. Maybe it’s my getting older and knowing this year will be over before I know it and with it I will be one year older. Maybe it’s the fact my girls seem to age faster than is humanly possible.  It could possibly be all the motivational and life books I have been picking up by the caseload as of late. Whatever the reason this year a resolution sounded like a grand idea.

There are plenty of things I could focus my attention on throughout the New Year in the traditional sense, but I was looking for a resolution that was larger than the obvious. Then yesterday it hit me. The excitement coursed through me as I laughed at how obvious my resolution was. Isn’t there a saying about, how you can’t see what’s right in front of you? That clearly applies to me.

So, what is my non-traditional, super awesome resolution? It might be surprising or down-right confusing for some (psst…I tried it out on my friends and the raised eyebrows I received meant a follow-up explanation was not only necessary it was imperative).

If you’ve read any of my other posts such as this one or this one you know I am a self-declared Type A personality with OCD tendencies. I have two very different sides to my personality. On the one side, I can be lively, spontaneous and over the top and then on the other I like to have a place for everything and everything in it’s place mentality. So basically, most days I come out as a neurotic, perfectionist, seeking to be the perfect mom. I call ’em like I see them even when I’m being reflective about myself.

It’s all fine and good and I know a lot of people can relate to the need for things to be perfect. What wasn’t fine was I was noticing both my girls picking up on my perfectionist behaviors, and I can’t deny the sinking I felt in my heart.

I don’t want to rob them of their uniqueness and their individuality.

I don’t want them to freak out about things the way I do.

I don’t want them to think that love comes from a place of perfection.

I don’t want them having a melt down on Christmas day because it’s too overwhelming. (True story about Christmas day even though I’m cowering in the corner as I admit that.)

After I witnessed some of the incidences of perfection from my own girls I felt at a loss of what to do. What had I done? Could I fix it? How would I do that? As I was thinking about all the resolutions I could make, of all the things most important to me or what would make a difference I realized this could fix everything.

My 2016 Resolution is to be the less than perfect mom.

I resolve to quite literally not yell about “spilled milk”. I don’t want to teach my girls to take every single moment seriously. I want to show that some things in life need to slide off your back and not everything is as important as it seems in the moment.

I resolve to get down on the ground and play and play and play some more with my kids even when there’s other work to be done. I’ve lived by the sentence, “I’ll be there after I’ve finished this.” The thing is nothing is ever completely finished or “perfect” and wasting time doing this instead of being with my girls is wasting my life.

I resolve to stop worrying they messed up another outfit with stains I can’t get out. I love the clothes at Target anyway so this will just be an excuse to pick up a new cute outfit

I resolve to embrace everything with my children, just as it is. There will be good and bad, fun and sad, happy and tantrums (ohhhh the tantrums), grinning and pouting. Through it all I need to remember they are just little girls. Even when I catch myself saying, “You’re seven you know how to act” I think only seven short years ago I was delivering a precious and completely vulnerable tiny person in the world.

I resolve to stop trying to make everything so picture perfect because let’s face it life is hardly like that. This is a big one for me. If I don’t show them that there is another way in life they won’t understand when things aren’t perfect in life. Life is messy by nature and trying to fight against it all the time is futile. I’ll embrace the messy.

Each year feels like it moves along faster than the last, so I resolve to not waste any time. I resolve to be the less than perfect mom who will become exactly what her girls need her to be each day. And in that I will surely find the perfection I have been chasing.

Do you have a goal for the year that will benefit not only you but your family? How did you come up with a resolution that will last the entire year?

 

Be a less than perfect mom this year. It's time to shed all the things that do not matter and focus on what makes our motherhood great.


Heather of Just Becoming Me contributor to Mom Motivation Mondays series at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival GuideHeather lives in Florida with her husband, two girls and two pups. She is a lover of most things in life, too many to name here without scaring you, but a few include working out, learning new recipes, Pinterest, organizing (yes, it’s true!), home decor and learning to lead a more minimal and purposeful life.

At the end of 2014, she was feeling unhappy, burnt out and discouraged but couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making her feel that way. She started Just Becoming Me as a venture to better understand herself and what will lead her towards a more fulfilling life. Her motto is: “We only have one life, and I want to learn to live mine in a way that gets me excited to jump out of bed.”


 

View all the past posts from Mom Motivation Mondays here:

A weekly series of motivation for moms brought to you by stay at home mom bloggers at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide.

 

Need a stay-at-home mom routine or schedule to help your family? Resources available here:

Find resources for implementing routines and schedules in your home. Printables and suggested schedules make it so easy!

Successful Mom Daily Checklist to help you gain balance between housework and play time with the kids. Get more done, and feel more successful as a mom and homemaker.

Enjoy your time at home!

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Filed Under: motherhood, motivation Tagged With: MMM contributors, mom guilt, perfect mom, stay at home mom

Trackbacks

  1. Under Pressure: The Truth about "Just Being a Mom" - The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide says:
    October 9, 2016 at 9:15 pm

    […] continue to laugh when we talk about “Pinterest” moms, but as a close friend of mine pointed out to me I’m the epitome of a “Pinterest” […]

    Reply
  2. Mom Motivation Mondays #5 - Just Becoming Me says:
    January 16, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    […] I thought better late than never! My latest post for Mom Motivation Mondays can be found here at The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide. It’s a brand new year and so many amazing things right around the corner. As I was pondering […]

    Reply
  3. Mom Motivation Mondays #5 - Just Becoming Me says:
    January 16, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    […] I thought better late than never! My latest post for Mom Motivation Mondays can be found here at The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide. It’s a brand new year and so many amazing things right around the corner. As I was pondering […]

    Reply

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I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having m I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having my babies. I have learned so much from all my children but having my girls is a blessing I never knew I needed. 

Want to eliminate mean girls? Raise daughters to do the opposite.

Want to teach women to better communicate with each other? Raise daughters to listen and articulate.

They are my own little girl group and I am grateful for it. They love me on my bad days and give me compliments I do not even deserve. 

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What are the top lessons you wish girls would learn before becoming adults? 

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Will you be spending time with family for Easter? Will you be spending time with family for Easter? 

My husband’s parents have arrived - adding one more big dog to our house and lots of crafts and fun. We have not seen them since June. Everyone is excited to spend time together.

Both of my big kids have birthdays and we will all get to spend time at the beach this month. Our school work will morph into field trips so we soak up every day we can being present with family. 

I am looking forward to making memories, soaking in time together and celebrating two milestone birthdays - one happening tomorrow. 💛 

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🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all t 🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all the kids actually goes well!!! 🌟 

Ice cream after helped of course. 😂

All prepped for my in-laws coming to visit us after not seeing them since our move last summer. Looking forward to some fun events ahead that will make my kids think they are on spring break but they will technically be field trip days. Check, check. 

Are you guys on spring break this week? What do you have planned?

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Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, fill your mind with encouragement and just keep moving forward. 

Recovery days are not just for working out. They are for the mental state we walk around with too. Yesterday felt heavy. My God is a power lifter and takes the burden away. 

Today will be better.

Today we will rest and refocus.

Hooray for comfy jeans, motivational graphics and the Word to focus on through it all. 

(Faith fashion: @choseninchrist use code Jaimi to save.)

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🌟That Face!!🌟 That little boy is soon to t 🌟That Face!!🌟 

That little boy is soon to turn 13, guys! I mean in a few weeks. 😅

This is a throwback but brings back so many fun memories. 

—————————————

I love creating activities and crafts on the fly. Always have even before my kids were here.

I noticed that my son did not have a lot of little toy people to play with while he was pretending one day. We have a few cylinder blocks in a set. We never used them when we built. I thought we could turn them into little DIY toy people. 

They were so cute and easy to make. It was a preschool art project for him. We made them together.

If you don’t have wooden cylindrical blocks at home, you can use pieces of wood dowel or even a few square blocks glued together. You can even make DIY toy people out of toilet paper tubes. 

🌟Full details through Blog link in bio 🌟

——————————————

I am so excited and yet in complete shock by how fast these little lives grow. I have never missed moments and I am so so grateful especially as we approach the teen years in my house. 💛 Soak up even the hard days of being a mom. TOTALLY worth it. 

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👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out the 👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out there. I try to ignore a lot of them. 😂 

My kids stay up later than most recommend, but so did I when I was a kid. 

She loves to read. She loves to write. Abby writes plays, journal entries, songs and on a bad day she will write her feelings about it all, in depth, no holds barred. 

This night she was trying to finish up a play - setting, character details, order of lines - for a play she made for her younger sister. 

I am so thankful that we can count her love of writing in her free time as school work. I am so thankful that how we do school allows this passion and talent to thrive. She has stacks of drawings, plays and writing blurbs. They are all precious to her.

There are days I question whether this choice or that choice is right or “approved,” but it does not matter when I see my children dive deep into the things they love. 

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Give me my people any day. Family time this Sund Give me my people any day. 

Family time this Sunday was a 5k fundraiser race. We helped raise 💵 for the spouses’ club scholarship fund. Scholarships will be awarded for post secondary education to military kids and spouses. 

If you can choose any action in life, choose to help others. Side bonus when it involves fun family time together.

Best day yet. 💛💛💛

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💛 Friday Introductions💛 It has been a while 💛 Friday Introductions💛

It has been a while since I did a good run-down here to give ya the cliffs notes (are those still a thing) version of me. 👋 

💛 Detroit-born a few blocks from where Eminem lived. The city is still my hometown despite moving away as a kid.

💛 I am a big believer in traditional values, but with a modern woman twist. My husband drives his career and I drive this household.

💛 We live in eastern NC 30 mins from the beach. I want to stay here forever, truly, but military life will come to an end some day...still don’t know specifically when that will be.

💛Born and raised to be a planner, Type A personality, having 4 kids beat that out of me 🤣 and I am very “day at a time” now. 

💛I was a teacher turned stay at home mom turned blogger turned entrepreneur that had to set it all on the back burner a bit to focus on homeschooling my kids. I can only have so much on my plate and complete it successfully. (When we listen, God guides and is loud and clear with His direction. 💛)

💛I believe I can be humble and confident; I can be fully present with my kids and make space to rest and rejuvenate; I believe the biggest successes I will achieve in life will not have a paycheck as its valuation. 

💛I believe that true peace, value and love all come from Jesus. 

You will find me sharing the ups AND the downs of motherhood, wife life, homeschooling and being a Christian woman with the modern day pull to fight what that can mean. (There is def a force trying to convince us to push those values aside, my friends.)

👌What is the cliffs notes version of you? What do you want people to know/realize most of all?

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🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟 Often our c 🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟

Often our children learn hard lessons when they have to move to a new state or school. 

My kids have become all too familiar with this through military life. Every three years they have to make new friends.

It is not always simple.

As a child, my family moved a lot. We were not military, but in junior high I moved to a new state and had to make all new friends.

This was a challenging and even to some extent a traumatic time of life.

Being the new kid, is a humbling experience. Suddenly you are hoping that your peers will want to get to know you and like you. It creates some self-consciousness.

Reading is such a beneficial way to teach children about life lessons. It teaches much more than that. It teaches self esteem through the cuddle time. It teaches language skills, and it teaches children to use their minds to be creative.

As they have grown and navigated more friendships, books are a resource for us to discuss tough challenges. I have found a great series of books that present friendship challenges and help children learn to navigate them.

It just so happens that the author is my neighbor too! How cool is that?! Moms are amazing.

These books will be treasured by your family for their quality values. The @stingrayjelly series teach children how to make friends and navigate friendships to love others well and support them through shared similarities and recognized differences.

Author, Lauren Giannella is a military wife and my neighbor! Anna Perdue is the illustrator and also a military child. 

Read my blog post for details on each book and links to purchase through @barnesandnoble 

We love our military community and all they do to give back.

What are your favorite children’s books that teach children how to make friends or help them maneuver through tough life challenges?

#books #booksforkids #militaryspouse #militaryspouses #militarywife #militarylife #militarykids #teachingkids #goodbooks #readtokids #readingtime #homeschoolreading #homeschoolmoms #eastnc #usmclife #marinecorpsfamily #motherhoodsocial
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