In the Midst of Mom Guilt

Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Heather}

For some reason lately I’ve been having a lot of mom guilt.

I can’t exactly pinpoint why, but I feel it heavily for some reason. I feel it when I’m getting frustrated because my kids won’t go to bed. It comes creeping in when I’m asked something for the forty-seventh time and snap out an answer. Or when I clench my teeth as my daughters start arguing again for the fifth time in an hour.

So. Much. Mom. Guilt.

I know these happen to all moms. I’m sure other moms out there get just as annoyed about those things as I do. But I also wonder why can’t I just grin and bear it? Why do I get upset or frustrated? Why can’t I be Mary-friggin-Poppins?

These are the days I question my role of mother. I wonder if I’m doing a good job. These are the days I wonder, if God knows who I am. Like if he really knows who I am why did he give me these specific children? Sometimes I wonder why he blessed me with children at all. Because they are a blessing and sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve them.

I mean is he aware I lack patience? Doesn’t he know I’m as stubborn as they come? If he knows how much I hate arguing why in the world would he let it bother me so much when they do it? Why can’t I be more of a go with the flow mom? The one that appears to have it all together?

When these thoughts begin to cloud my mind I can feel the uncertainty. It clings to everything I do that day. I can feel it weighing heavily upon my shoulders.

And I hate it.

But it’s also in moments like these where I’ve learned one of the most important lessons of being a mom.

If you’ve ever had any of these doubts or are wondering how you’re going to make it through the day. You’ve already lost your patience and you haven’t even had a chance to drink your coffee (let’s be real you reheated it 5 times already and keep forgetting about it). Well, I’ve got something important to tell all you mommas out there.

You are their mother for a reason.

Simple as that.

You were given these children for a reason. No matter the fact you might lack patience like I do or perhaps you snap a little more than you should in stressful situations. Or maybe there are 1,000 other things that you wish didn’t bother you about being a mom but they do regardless.

You’d think it’d be easy to remember such a big and important message. It’s not.

It’s easy for this message to get lost in the day-to-day routine of being a mom. You’re busy. You’re distracted. You’re being pulled in a million different directions. You’re trying your very best. And yet you forget one of the most important things about being a mom.

The message gets forgotten because other moms forget to remind themselves and their fellow moms. But it is an important lesson. One that I believe bears repeating.

You are their mother for a reason.

It’s something I’ve come to use as my mantra. When I’m feeling stressed or questioning my mothering ability I repeat to myself, “I am their mother for a reason.” I breathe in and I think about how their life would be so very different if I weren’t their mother. I can barely wrap my head around it. That’s how I know that I’m right where I need to be as a mom.

Sure I have to give myself pep talks every once in awhile and repeat a mantra to myself to keep calm on those days where my patience is weaning. But without you, your children would have a completely different experience of childhood. You’re shaping their childhood right now. You’re shaping these little people into big people who will one day go on to do amazing things.

Sometimes we forget just how important our job as mother is. It’s a powerful and impactful job. It’s one of the most important jobs that exists.

And regardless of the job you think you’re doing as a mom I want you to know you’re doing fabulous.

You really are. 

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Heather lives in Florida with her husband, two girls and two pups. She is a lover of most things in life, too many to name here without scaring you, but a few include working out, learning new recipes, Pinterest, organizing (yes, it’s true!), home decor and learning to lead a more minimal and purposeful life.

She started Just Becoming Me as a venture to better understand herself and what will lead her towards a more fulfilling life. Her motto is: “We only have one life, and I want to learn to live mine in a way that gets me excited to jump out of bed.”

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Enjoy your time at home!