He Still Calls Me Mommy

She asked me, “He still calls you mommy?” It was in a friendly tone, but the question caught me off-guard. Immediately, I paused for what felt like an awkward length of time. My tongue twisted. I felt attacked with the unexpected, personal question.

In my mind, I was thinking in rapid fire succession: “Yes, so?” “Why does it matter?” “Don’t tell him to stop,” and “Am I supposed to be embarrassed by that?”

We were seated in a semi-circle in the neighbor’s front yard. A small group had been invited over for a cookout. I was looking forward to actually being invited in to this neighbor gathering.

There were not many homeschoolers. And, having been invited in to the social circle, I did not want any attention drawn to me that would make the regular neighborhood crew discard me.

Is it weird that they still call me mommy? I do not know, really.

Why He Still Calls Me Mommy

Since we have lived in the southern United States, I have heard men, women and children of all backgrounds call their parents everything from Ma, Pa, Mama, Papa, Pops, Moms, Mum, Dad, Mommy and Daddy. All ages of people in this part of the country call their mothers mommy or mama.

So, why did I have to answer a question like that? Why was it even on this person’s mind?

Attachment is the reason why he still calls me mommy. It is the name he has embedded into who I am in his life.

I realize now that because my children are not overly influenced by their peers – thanks to homeschooling – they do not have the same feelings of shame for the attachment they have to me.

I am their mother. Some call mama. Others call me mommy.

I have been in their lives daily since before they were born. They see me as their security, safe space. I feel how big their love is in that word mommy.

Attachment Parenting

Attachment is the Golden Ticket to family connectivity and joy. I see that daily as I look at how we all interact. Attachment parenting is a strong philosophy.

Looking into the future, I want my children to feel attached to my husband and I. I hope they feel a strong attachment when we are old so they still visit. I hope their memories of childhood make them grateful for the time and efforts I put in for them.

I hope they still call me mommy, or mom, or Ma. Whatever they choose will be fine.

When a teenager still uses the familiar name for his mother, without caring what anyone around thinks of him for using that specific name, it is a sign. It is a sign that the family bond is more important than the opinions of the community. It shows that attachment parenting has created a bond. That bond may be called mom, mommy, mama or Ma, but it is between the child and the mother.

Mom Shaming

When we are thinking about why other mothers do certain things to the point where we are willing to,  in a passive aggressive way, make a point about it – whether through statements or questions like “Why does he still call you mommy?” we are comparing and analyzing a situation that is not ours to focus on.

If my children call me kind names, terms of endearment, there is no need to ask why. If my teenager respectfully calls me mommy, it is a good sign. He is not saying Bruh, bro or dude.

I would hope you would ask only if the names they call are rude. I would pray for that being a concern. But wondering if my child is too old to call me mommy is a waste of time.

Will it be strange for him to call me that name when I am on my death bed?

It will be sweet, sincere, and connected. It will ring out with the strong bond we have created. It will show that the attachment we had due to the time together building the mother-son bond, was effective.

So, there is no need to ask. There is no reason to make it seem odd. There is only a relationship that has been built with time, effort and love, and that has a name that is special to me.

Yes, he still calls me mommy.

What do your children call you? Did it change with time as they grew older?

Enjoy your time at home!