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Working on a Successful Marriage-The 3 C’s {Guest Post}

September 29, 2014 by Jaimi Erickson 3 Comments

Ready to have the ENERGY to be the best mom you can be? Get started! Thanks for stopping by!

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Lessons learned from 19 years of marriage-Wendy Woerner guest posts about the 3 Cs to a successful marriage between husband and wife united in Christ.
My husband and I have spent a significant amount of time as an ‘island’ isolated. Due to several moves across the country that took us away from family and friends, we were basically alone for several years. We had a growing family and were struggling with a major issue in our marriage. We had no one to talk to, no one to advise us, and we weren’t sure we would make it.
My husband and I have been married for 19 years. We just
celebrated our anniversary earlier this month. We’re excited that we have made
it this far with every intention to make it until the day we take our breaths in heaven. 
It saddens us that so many who enter into marriage today do so with the attitude
that it’s a try-it-and-see kind of thing. Or, that they will only stay married
as long as life is easy. 
There have been times in our
marriage when it was hard, when we weren’t sure if there
was a solution to our problems, when we had tried everything we could think of,
and we had each thought of ‘getting out’.
However, we have received so much
healing from God over the years, and specifically over the last year, that
we know if the Lord can heal our marriage, then He can heal any marriage!
What does it take to make a marriage work? Ha, so much! There
are many things that I could talk about and I still wouldn’t cover them all.  God is still teaching me. What I can offer are just a few keys
that I have discovered with much help from some god-loving,
marriage-championing friends whom we met through our church.
Working on a Successful marriage takes 3 Cs-commitment, courage, and community. Such wise words from a "marriage veteran" to help women focus on their marriage as just as much of a priority as their children.
The 3 Cs for a Successful
Marriage
Commitment

Since we became a part of the
marriage ministry in our church, we have seen commitment displayed in front of us by the leadership team and other table leaders of
this ministry. 
Each person is committed to their spouse. They
are each committed to God and His plan for their marriage. 
Look at any married
couple and I guarantee you that they have been through at least one major issue
in their marriage-Deaths, affairs, financial troubles, divorces, sexual abuse,
strained relationships with in-laws, and so much more. 
No one is perfect, and
life gets tough. 
The commitment to remain married to your spouse, and to do
whatever it takes, can only really come from your commitment to Christ and His
plan for your life
. He doesn’t give up on us, and we should not be too quick to
give up on our marriages. He can redeem all the baggage, junk, hurts, abuse, and
hardships. Bring it to Him, commit to your marriage, and watch how God will
work.
Courage
Marriage is not for the faint of
heart.
 A successful marriage requires energy, time, patience, and courage. We
must be brave and vulnerable. Opening up to others about our deepest feelings,
thoughts, hopes, and dreams can be difficult, but it is necessary if we want a
close and flourishing relationship with our husbands. Be courageous! Begin to
talk to your husband about your future, your hopes and dreams, the hard things. 
You may be afraid of rejection, of unkind words, or that he won’t care. Especially if you have been hurt by your spouse in the past. I’ll
admit to having those fears myself, and they are real.  But, give it a try anyway. 
You may be
surprised at the changes that take place in your husband after he begins to see
a real change in you. I have a long way to go, many improvements that still
need to be made in my life. I’m looking to God to do that work in me. When my husband saw real change in me last fall, he began to change as well.
It has been beautiful to watch him begin to step up to lead in areas where I’ve
wanted him to for years. I simply had to get out of the way, to let go of
the bitterness. Be brave, have the courage to change first. Your spouse may very
well follow.
Community


“And it came to pass, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.”
Exodus 17:11-12

This is a very important part of
finding success in marriage. A married couple cannot remain an island unto
themselves and expect to flourish.
Even when things are going great we all
sometimes need help managing our lives. When we are struggling, it becomes
almost impossible to continue successfully if we have no one to hold up our
arms.
Jumping into the marriage class at
our church was a huge turning point for us. God has done some immense work in
my heart. He has allowed me to completely let go of the bitterness and anger.
My husband and I are able to now work on the other areas that we neglected
during those many years of struggle. It is in large part due to having a group
of mentors through our ministry team. We have men and women who have been
transparent about their struggles, who are committed and courageous, and who
love the Lord. He has worked miracles in their marriages, and they are now
pointing the way for others. These friends are our Aaron and Hur. They have
come alongside us and are holding up our arms when we grow weary
. I beseech
you, find others to hold up your arms when you cannot hold them up yourselves.
Search for community and join in!
Are you struggling in your marriage? Perhaps
you have a praise to share about the work God has done in your relationship.
Please share them with me! I want to pray for you and celebrate with you.



This post is featured in A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms: When You Need to Work on Your Marriage. View all of the inspirational articles on marriage HERE.



Wendy is a homeschooling mama to five who loves to encourage
others along the homeschooling journey. She also considers herself a ‘foodie’
and is always ready to try a new recipe in the kitchen. You will find Wendy
writing about homeschooling, faith, family, food, and books over on her blog, Striving to Follow Him. Wendy is also
founder of Your One Tree, a contributor blog
dedicated to encouraging others to die to self daily, as well as contributing
monthly over at Managing Your
Blessings
. Be sure to visit and connect with Wendy on Facebook and Twitter, too!










*************************



Thank you, Wendy, for encouraging us to spend quality time on our marriages as moms. It is an important part of our work as women. 


When I asked Wendy if she would help me celebrate my blog anniversary with you all by guest posting, I was truly hoping she would share some wise words about marriage. She has been married longer than I and has a tremendous faith that centers her focus and guides her life-I have learned so much from her posts! 

She previously shared some recipes with us, and if you are a new or beginning homeschooling mama, you will benefit from her series on starting to homeschool. Her wealth of experiences in motherhood, marriage, homeschooling and life are always beneficial! I know they have given me great tips to focus on in my life.


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Live a life of love,











You may also enjoy:


The Other Half of a Stay-at-Home Mom: 
The Working Dad
We Can Overcome Our Childhood
 

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Filed Under: marriage, Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Jas says

    October 17, 2018 at 4:09 am

    Today I realized the real meaning of 3c’s in marriage. I loved this article after reading this I have understood important factors related to marriage. Hearty thankful to you…

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. How to Develop a Parenting Partnership - The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide says:
    February 13, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    […] Working on a Successful Marriage […]

    Reply
  2. Creating a Parenting Partnership | CloudMom says:
    February 12, 2016 at 9:03 am

    […] marriage is a priority for me and it’s my mission to make it last. My children will eventually move out. […]

    Reply

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I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having m I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having my babies. I have learned so much from all my children but having my girls is a blessing I never knew I needed. 

Want to eliminate mean girls? Raise daughters to do the opposite.

Want to teach women to better communicate with each other? Raise daughters to listen and articulate.

They are my own little girl group and I am grateful for it. They love me on my bad days and give me compliments I do not even deserve. 

I do love being the mom of girls (and boys). They both teach me so much. 

What are the top lessons you wish girls would learn before becoming adults? 

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Will you be spending time with family for Easter? Will you be spending time with family for Easter? 

My husband’s parents have arrived - adding one more big dog to our house and lots of crafts and fun. We have not seen them since June. Everyone is excited to spend time together.

Both of my big kids have birthdays and we will all get to spend time at the beach this month. Our school work will morph into field trips so we soak up every day we can being present with family. 

I am looking forward to making memories, soaking in time together and celebrating two milestone birthdays - one happening tomorrow. 💛 

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🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all t 🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all the kids actually goes well!!! 🌟 

Ice cream after helped of course. 😂

All prepped for my in-laws coming to visit us after not seeing them since our move last summer. Looking forward to some fun events ahead that will make my kids think they are on spring break but they will technically be field trip days. Check, check. 

Are you guys on spring break this week? What do you have planned?

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Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, fill your mind with encouragement and just keep moving forward. 

Recovery days are not just for working out. They are for the mental state we walk around with too. Yesterday felt heavy. My God is a power lifter and takes the burden away. 

Today will be better.

Today we will rest and refocus.

Hooray for comfy jeans, motivational graphics and the Word to focus on through it all. 

(Faith fashion: @choseninchrist use code Jaimi to save.)

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🌟That Face!!🌟 That little boy is soon to t 🌟That Face!!🌟 

That little boy is soon to turn 13, guys! I mean in a few weeks. 😅

This is a throwback but brings back so many fun memories. 

—————————————

I love creating activities and crafts on the fly. Always have even before my kids were here.

I noticed that my son did not have a lot of little toy people to play with while he was pretending one day. We have a few cylinder blocks in a set. We never used them when we built. I thought we could turn them into little DIY toy people. 

They were so cute and easy to make. It was a preschool art project for him. We made them together.

If you don’t have wooden cylindrical blocks at home, you can use pieces of wood dowel or even a few square blocks glued together. You can even make DIY toy people out of toilet paper tubes. 

🌟Full details through Blog link in bio 🌟

——————————————

I am so excited and yet in complete shock by how fast these little lives grow. I have never missed moments and I am so so grateful especially as we approach the teen years in my house. 💛 Soak up even the hard days of being a mom. TOTALLY worth it. 

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👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out the 👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out there. I try to ignore a lot of them. 😂 

My kids stay up later than most recommend, but so did I when I was a kid. 

She loves to read. She loves to write. Abby writes plays, journal entries, songs and on a bad day she will write her feelings about it all, in depth, no holds barred. 

This night she was trying to finish up a play - setting, character details, order of lines - for a play she made for her younger sister. 

I am so thankful that we can count her love of writing in her free time as school work. I am so thankful that how we do school allows this passion and talent to thrive. She has stacks of drawings, plays and writing blurbs. They are all precious to her.

There are days I question whether this choice or that choice is right or “approved,” but it does not matter when I see my children dive deep into the things they love. 

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Give me my people any day. Family time this Sund Give me my people any day. 

Family time this Sunday was a 5k fundraiser race. We helped raise 💵 for the spouses’ club scholarship fund. Scholarships will be awarded for post secondary education to military kids and spouses. 

If you can choose any action in life, choose to help others. Side bonus when it involves fun family time together.

Best day yet. 💛💛💛

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💛 Friday Introductions💛 It has been a while 💛 Friday Introductions💛

It has been a while since I did a good run-down here to give ya the cliffs notes (are those still a thing) version of me. 👋 

💛 Detroit-born a few blocks from where Eminem lived. The city is still my hometown despite moving away as a kid.

💛 I am a big believer in traditional values, but with a modern woman twist. My husband drives his career and I drive this household.

💛 We live in eastern NC 30 mins from the beach. I want to stay here forever, truly, but military life will come to an end some day...still don’t know specifically when that will be.

💛Born and raised to be a planner, Type A personality, having 4 kids beat that out of me 🤣 and I am very “day at a time” now. 

💛I was a teacher turned stay at home mom turned blogger turned entrepreneur that had to set it all on the back burner a bit to focus on homeschooling my kids. I can only have so much on my plate and complete it successfully. (When we listen, God guides and is loud and clear with His direction. 💛)

💛I believe I can be humble and confident; I can be fully present with my kids and make space to rest and rejuvenate; I believe the biggest successes I will achieve in life will not have a paycheck as its valuation. 

💛I believe that true peace, value and love all come from Jesus. 

You will find me sharing the ups AND the downs of motherhood, wife life, homeschooling and being a Christian woman with the modern day pull to fight what that can mean. (There is def a force trying to convince us to push those values aside, my friends.)

👌What is the cliffs notes version of you? What do you want people to know/realize most of all?

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🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟 Often our c 🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟

Often our children learn hard lessons when they have to move to a new state or school. 

My kids have become all too familiar with this through military life. Every three years they have to make new friends.

It is not always simple.

As a child, my family moved a lot. We were not military, but in junior high I moved to a new state and had to make all new friends.

This was a challenging and even to some extent a traumatic time of life.

Being the new kid, is a humbling experience. Suddenly you are hoping that your peers will want to get to know you and like you. It creates some self-consciousness.

Reading is such a beneficial way to teach children about life lessons. It teaches much more than that. It teaches self esteem through the cuddle time. It teaches language skills, and it teaches children to use their minds to be creative.

As they have grown and navigated more friendships, books are a resource for us to discuss tough challenges. I have found a great series of books that present friendship challenges and help children learn to navigate them.

It just so happens that the author is my neighbor too! How cool is that?! Moms are amazing.

These books will be treasured by your family for their quality values. The @stingrayjelly series teach children how to make friends and navigate friendships to love others well and support them through shared similarities and recognized differences.

Author, Lauren Giannella is a military wife and my neighbor! Anna Perdue is the illustrator and also a military child. 

Read my blog post for details on each book and links to purchase through @barnesandnoble 

We love our military community and all they do to give back.

What are your favorite children’s books that teach children how to make friends or help them maneuver through tough life challenges?

#books #booksforkids #militaryspouse #militaryspouses #militarywife #militarylife #militarykids #teachingkids #goodbooks #readtokids #readingtime #homeschoolreading #homeschoolmoms #eastnc #usmclife #marinecorpsfamily #motherhoodsocial
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