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Working on a Successful Marriage-The 3 C’s {Guest Post}

September 29, 2014 by Jaimi Erickson 3 Comments

Ready to have the ENERGY to be the best mom you can be? Get started! Thanks for stopping by!

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Lessons learned from 19 years of marriage-Wendy Woerner guest posts about the 3 Cs to a successful marriage between husband and wife united in Christ.
My husband and I have spent a significant amount of time as an ‘island’ isolated. Due to several moves across the country that took us away from family and friends, we were basically alone for several years. We had a growing family and were struggling with a major issue in our marriage. We had no one to talk to, no one to advise us, and we weren’t sure we would make it.
My husband and I have been married for 19 years. We just
celebrated our anniversary earlier this month. We’re excited that we have made
it this far with every intention to make it until the day we take our breaths in heaven. 
It saddens us that so many who enter into marriage today do so with the attitude
that it’s a try-it-and-see kind of thing. Or, that they will only stay married
as long as life is easy. 
There have been times in our
marriage when it was hard, when we weren’t sure if there
was a solution to our problems, when we had tried everything we could think of,
and we had each thought of ‘getting out’.
However, we have received so much
healing from God over the years, and specifically over the last year, that
we know if the Lord can heal our marriage, then He can heal any marriage!
What does it take to make a marriage work? Ha, so much! There
are many things that I could talk about and I still wouldn’t cover them all.  God is still teaching me. What I can offer are just a few keys
that I have discovered with much help from some god-loving,
marriage-championing friends whom we met through our church.
Working on a Successful marriage takes 3 Cs-commitment, courage, and community. Such wise words from a "marriage veteran" to help women focus on their marriage as just as much of a priority as their children.
The 3 Cs for a Successful
Marriage
Commitment

Since we became a part of the
marriage ministry in our church, we have seen commitment displayed in front of us by the leadership team and other table leaders of
this ministry. 
Each person is committed to their spouse. They
are each committed to God and His plan for their marriage. 
Look at any married
couple and I guarantee you that they have been through at least one major issue
in their marriage-Deaths, affairs, financial troubles, divorces, sexual abuse,
strained relationships with in-laws, and so much more. 
No one is perfect, and
life gets tough. 
The commitment to remain married to your spouse, and to do
whatever it takes, can only really come from your commitment to Christ and His
plan for your life
. He doesn’t give up on us, and we should not be too quick to
give up on our marriages. He can redeem all the baggage, junk, hurts, abuse, and
hardships. Bring it to Him, commit to your marriage, and watch how God will
work.
Courage
Marriage is not for the faint of
heart.
 A successful marriage requires energy, time, patience, and courage. We
must be brave and vulnerable. Opening up to others about our deepest feelings,
thoughts, hopes, and dreams can be difficult, but it is necessary if we want a
close and flourishing relationship with our husbands. Be courageous! Begin to
talk to your husband about your future, your hopes and dreams, the hard things. 
You may be afraid of rejection, of unkind words, or that he won’t care. Especially if you have been hurt by your spouse in the past. I’ll
admit to having those fears myself, and they are real.  But, give it a try anyway. 
You may be
surprised at the changes that take place in your husband after he begins to see
a real change in you. I have a long way to go, many improvements that still
need to be made in my life. I’m looking to God to do that work in me. When my husband saw real change in me last fall, he began to change as well.
It has been beautiful to watch him begin to step up to lead in areas where I’ve
wanted him to for years. I simply had to get out of the way, to let go of
the bitterness. Be brave, have the courage to change first. Your spouse may very
well follow.
Community


“And it came to pass, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.”
Exodus 17:11-12

This is a very important part of
finding success in marriage. A married couple cannot remain an island unto
themselves and expect to flourish.
Even when things are going great we all
sometimes need help managing our lives. When we are struggling, it becomes
almost impossible to continue successfully if we have no one to hold up our
arms.
Jumping into the marriage class at
our church was a huge turning point for us. God has done some immense work in
my heart. He has allowed me to completely let go of the bitterness and anger.
My husband and I are able to now work on the other areas that we neglected
during those many years of struggle. It is in large part due to having a group
of mentors through our ministry team. We have men and women who have been
transparent about their struggles, who are committed and courageous, and who
love the Lord. He has worked miracles in their marriages, and they are now
pointing the way for others. These friends are our Aaron and Hur. They have
come alongside us and are holding up our arms when we grow weary
. I beseech
you, find others to hold up your arms when you cannot hold them up yourselves.
Search for community and join in!
Are you struggling in your marriage? Perhaps
you have a praise to share about the work God has done in your relationship.
Please share them with me! I want to pray for you and celebrate with you.



This post is featured in A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms: When You Need to Work on Your Marriage. View all of the inspirational articles on marriage HERE.



Wendy is a homeschooling mama to five who loves to encourage
others along the homeschooling journey. She also considers herself a ‘foodie’
and is always ready to try a new recipe in the kitchen. You will find Wendy
writing about homeschooling, faith, family, food, and books over on her blog, Striving to Follow Him. Wendy is also
founder of Your One Tree, a contributor blog
dedicated to encouraging others to die to self daily, as well as contributing
monthly over at Managing Your
Blessings
. Be sure to visit and connect with Wendy on Facebook and Twitter, too!










*************************



Thank you, Wendy, for encouraging us to spend quality time on our marriages as moms. It is an important part of our work as women. 


When I asked Wendy if she would help me celebrate my blog anniversary with you all by guest posting, I was truly hoping she would share some wise words about marriage. She has been married longer than I and has a tremendous faith that centers her focus and guides her life-I have learned so much from her posts! 

She previously shared some recipes with us, and if you are a new or beginning homeschooling mama, you will benefit from her series on starting to homeschool. Her wealth of experiences in motherhood, marriage, homeschooling and life are always beneficial! I know they have given me great tips to focus on in my life.


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Live a life of love,











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Filed Under: marriage, Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Jas says

    October 17, 2018 at 4:09 am

    Today I realized the real meaning of 3c’s in marriage. I loved this article after reading this I have understood important factors related to marriage. Hearty thankful to you…

    Reply

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  1. How to Develop a Parenting Partnership - The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide says:
    February 13, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    […] Working on a Successful Marriage […]

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  2. Creating a Parenting Partnership | CloudMom says:
    February 12, 2016 at 9:03 am

    […] marriage is a priority for me and it’s my mission to make it last. My children will eventually move out. […]

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As far as our home and homeschool, 2021 has been a As far as our home and homeschool, 2021 has been a dream so far! 

Kids are eager to learn and ask for more, we have a system down, and I am even getting rest time in the evening after the kitchen is cleaned up. My husband and I get time together while the kids are still awake which is important for them to see. 

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How long have you known your spouse? This guy an How long have you known your spouse? 

This guy and I met our senior year of high school. What a journey we were in for and did not ever realize! 

•4 kids + 1 miscarriage
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Every time the world feels heavy, chaotic, and strange, our marriage is a safe place. It makes our home calm amongst the storm of global politics. 

I have grown content with our imperfections- because there are much bigger problems to navigate in the world...am I right?! 😳

That brings me so much peace. 

Loving not only how well we work together but also the ways we still need to improve. That is where I am in my marriage. Grateful to have so much history with this guy. It fills my tank for all the years we have ahead of us to navigate as well. 

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It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, yo It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, you can not do it all well. 

Hi, my name is Jaimi and sometimes I deliver truth that cuts to the heart. 👌😉

Women have been fed a lie that they can and need to juggle it all. I have learned to juggle. Eventually balls fall. 

As I took on more because I was told all that mattered was my mindset, I inevitably had to set aside the tasks that God called me to do first. We never take on more and more and more and stay in balance without setting aside more than we should.

It is not a matter of mindset, it is a matter of priorities.

Have you heard of the “one thing every day”? Many make that a clean kitchen, workout completed or devotional time. My one this is my family. If I focus on them each day I feel successful. 

In my home there is peace. The world is in chaos, power has become currency, and morals have fallen away. But “me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

It has nothing to do with gender. No one can take on something new without setting aside something they were working on already. 

Peace and order in my home is worth it. I am setting aside the things that bring chaos into my life and home. I am only focusing on the things that serve God here. 

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Today we took the Christmas decorations down. It m Today we took the Christmas decorations down. It marked the real start of 2021 for us. 

For some reason I am feeling ready for Spring cleaning. Funny enough, as I was cleaning out some flower pots that had gone a little stagnant over the colder weeks, I saw shoots! My plants think Spring is on its way-it has been warm here over the last few days. 

Being greeted by this view as we were piling into the van this morning, felt energizing. 

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Anyone else having about 3 Christmases with shippi Anyone else having about 3 Christmases with shipping challenges delaying packages? 🤣🤣

With family all long distance + the twins birthday 2 days after Christmas we end up with about 4 gift opening sessions over the course of Christmas week. I see no complaints from these kids. 😆 

How did package shipping go for you this year? Do you plan ahead for shipping gifts? 

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To whom much is given, much is expected. I have To whom much is given, much is expected. 

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Every ornament on our tree holds meaning. Many are Every ornament on our tree holds meaning. Many are kid-made; some were gifts to commemorate milestones like marriage and births; some we purchased each year with the theme of that year to remind us. 

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Which of your ornaments are your favorite? 

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Our acts of kindness Christmas countdown has been Our acts of kindness Christmas countdown has been going well. Weaving the activities in as learning, art and service projects in our school days has been our way of fitting in the extras this month. 

It is not that we ignore acts of kindness other times of the year. An act per day when some require driving or leg work to drop off gifts, cards or gather supplies adds some time. 

I want to keep this going after Christmas too to keep us actively displaying love and being the hands and feet of Jesus. Probably more for me than the kids!

To do that I want to make a bigger list of actions we can take. We have 25 plus a couple resources from @shelivesfree  and @coffeecupsandcrayons I will plug into a blog post. 

One act we did was decorating and sending Christmas cards to the grandparents. It was our “keep the hands busy and the mouths quiet” during read aloud time. (My method...) 

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