Super-Mom Syndrome thrives on doing all the right things to build the perfect family.
The wonder of holding my son for the first time quickly turned into fear at the thought of actually leaving the hospital–this is the fear that sets us up for Super-Mom Syndrome.


Super-Mom Kisses Perfect Mom Syndrome Goodbye
There is something wonderful and awful about the responsibility of raising children. Joy and terror can drive the most level-headed into a state of vamped up perfectionism.
I wanted to be a good mom. I wanted to honor God with my best. We used cloth diapers and I made our own baby food. I baked bread, read Bible stories, started my kids on chores and read books on discipline. I would have made my own Kleenex if I had thought of it.
All the while, I’d watch other moms, compare myself, and find fault with my efforts.
There was always a gap between the ideal and the reality of life with three small children.
The problem with Super-Mom Syndrome is that you can’t ever get there. Perfectionism in any form is a merciless taskmaster.
Creating a world of false ideals and unrealistic expectations, we hold ourselves to this invisible standard. That standard may be a little different for every Super-Mom, but we all are weary under a weight that God never intended for us to carry.
He never asked us to do it on our own.
When good things become rules and comparison drags our self-esteem into the gutter, Super-Mom Syndrome isn’t working. At the heart of all my efforts was a fear of failure with the most important thing I have ever been entrusted with.
How much is enough? And if it all depends on us, anything that goes wrong is on us. So we fix and cajole. We control and contrive. We stress and we push. With all we’ve got, we try to make life perfect.
And it is never enough.
For me, it was time to recognize my attempts to build the perfect home were not truly rooted in faith. I prayed, God help me be a good mom, but then I took all the responsibility for my performance.
My trust was too often in in myself, my Super Mom efforts. I never felt like super-mom–usually it was quite the opposite. Try harder, be more consistent, be more patient—these words echoed in my head.
Over time, God peeled back my expectations and comparisons, showing me that I had put my faith in formulas rather than in Him.
So often the things we struggle with reveal what is really going on in our heart. It’s easy to begin in the spirit, to start with a true desire and a right motive. And it is a very short step from faith to self-reliance.
Paul’s words to the Galatians are for all of us, “Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” (Phil. 3:3) At times, we’re all that foolish, for the struggle to trust God rather than ourselves is universal.
As I began to understand the cost of perfectionism, pressure to perform began to relax into grace. I began to let go of my self-effort to create the perfect family. How freeing to grab hold of the truth that before I was mother, God IS Father. I want to be, but He is the true I AM.
Ever present and always faithful, God loves me whether or not the house is immaculate or the discipline is flawless. He is at work in my life and in my parenting–and He is good at what He does.
In my weakness, He is strong, and He is not waiting around for me to get it all right before doling out His blessings on my family. His faithfulness is not dependent on my Good-Mom performance.
So, super mom kisses perfect goodbye. For in trying to measure up, I miss the grace that comes when I open my heart and rest in God. For me, learning to trust God to work in and through me, released the pressure to get it all right.




I love the super-mom cape. Think I've got one in the closet:) He is indeed the super-hero!
Funny how saying good-bye to perfect opens the door to grace and peace! Life is better when we put down that super-mom cape and let Him be the super hero! I wish I'd had this message when I was a younger mother!
Eight years into motherhood, I am still learning this. I am not crafty and Pinterest makes me feel bad. Thank you for your words to help me fight it!
So glad the Pintrest funny was encouraging. Blessings in your parenting!
Being a super-mom is a huge challenge and for some, it becomes a frustration. 🙁
In reality, you have to enjoy being a mom and accept your strengths as well as your limitations while making every moment worthy with the people you love. Thanks for sharing this inspiring post!
So true. I love the way thoughtful comments can expand a post. Thanks so much for contributing!
In reality, it is in seeing these things that makes us better mom's–for it brings us to a greater resource and strength that gets at the real rather than at the image. Thanks for leaving a comment!
Ginger, your words resonate with me!!!! I too wanted to be a great mom, and what a noble calling, but you are so right when you say: "When good things become rules and comparison drags our self-esteem into the gutter, Super-Mom Syndrome isn't working." Realizing God had a purpose for my family in creating a legacy and also finally getting that He had a calling on my children which reached way beyond my own abilities helped me release the reigns and just enjoy being their mom. Your words are perfect for every mom! Dropping by from Holley's place and so glad I did:)
Thanks so much, Karen. Oh, the many times God has to work this into my stubborn soul!
Ginger- Your words are what's ringing true in my heart lately. God certainly uses motherhood to show me how weak and dependent I am…. and how foolish it is to try to be Super Mom. Thank you for writing it so beautifully. This line is one for my journal: "For in trying to measure up, I miss the grace that comes when I open my heart and rest in God." Loved this!