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Home » faith » Super-Mom Kisses Perfect Goodbye

Super-Mom Kisses Perfect Goodbye

Super-Mom Syndrome is sent packing once and for all. This was a great post to test what is really motivating us to be the best mom I can be-that God wants me to be. Guest post written by Ginger Harrington at The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide.
Photo used and edited courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net 
“Silhouette mom with child at sunset” by arztsamui

Super-Mom Syndrome thrives on doing all the right things to build the perfect family.

The wonder of holding my son for the first time quickly turned into fear at the thought of actually leaving the hospital–this is the fear that sets us up for Super-Mom Syndrome.

 

Super-Mom Kisses Perfect Mom Syndrome Goodbye

What if I can’t be a good mom, was the silent question in my heart.

 

There is something wonderful and awful about the responsibility of raising children. Joy and terror can drive the most level-headed into a state of vamped up perfectionism. 

 
 
Wanting to get it right, quickly morphed into Super-Mom Syndrome.

 

I wanted to be a good mom. I wanted to honor God with my best. We used cloth diapers and I made our own baby food. I baked bread, read Bible stories, started my kids on chores and read books on discipline. I would have made my own Kleenex if I had thought of it.

All the while, I’d watch other moms, compare myself, and find fault with my efforts.
There was always a gap between the ideal and the reality of life with three small children.

The problem with Super-Mom Syndrome is that you can’t ever get there. Perfectionism in any form is a merciless taskmaster.

 

Creating a world of false ideals and unrealistic expectations, we hold ourselves to this invisible standard. That standard may be a little different for every Super-Mom, but we all are weary under a weight that God never intended for us to carry.

He never asked us to do it on our own.

When good things become rules and comparison drags our self-esteem into the gutter, Super-Mom Syndrome isn’t working. At the heart of all my efforts was a fear of failure with the most important thing I have ever been entrusted with.

How much is enough? And if it all depends on us, anything that goes wrong is on us. So we fix and cajole. We control and contrive. We stress and we push. With all we’ve got, we try to make life perfect.

And it is never enough.

For me, it was time to recognize my attempts to build the perfect home were not truly rooted in faith. I prayed, God help me be a good mom, but then I took all the responsibility for my performance.

My trust was too often in in myself, my Super Mom efforts. I never felt like super-mom–usually it was quite the opposite. Try harder, be more consistent, be more patient—these words echoed in my head.

Over time, God peeled back my expectations and comparisons, showing me that I had put my faith in formulas rather than in Him.

So often the things we struggle with reveal what is really going on in our heart. It’s easy to begin in the spirit, to start with a true desire and a right motive. And it is a very short step from faith to self-reliance.

Paul's words to the Galatians are for all of us, "Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?" (Phil. 3:3) At times, we're all that foolish, for the struggle to trust God rather than ourselves is universal. Guest post by Ginger Harrington shared at The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide.

Paul’s words to the Galatians are for all of us, “Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” (Phil. 3:3) At times, we’re all that foolish, for the struggle to trust God rather than ourselves is universal.

As I began to understand the cost of perfectionism, pressure to perform began to relax into grace. I began to let go of my self-effort to create the perfect family. How freeing to grab hold of the truth that before I was mother, God IS Father. I want to be, but He is the true I AM.

Ever present and always faithful, God loves me whether or not the house is immaculate or the discipline is flawless. He is at work in my life and in my parenting–and He is good at what He does.

 

...for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:13   In my weakness, He is strong, and He is not waiting around for me to get it all right before doling out His blessings on my family. His faithfulness is not dependent on my Good-Mom performance. Guest Post by Ginger Harrington shared at The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide.

In my weakness, He is strong, and He is not waiting around for me to get it all right before doling out His blessings on my family. His faithfulness is not dependent on my Good-Mom performance.

So, super mom kisses perfect goodbye. For in trying to measure up, I miss the grace that comes when I open my heart and rest in God. For me, learning to trust God to work in and through me, released the pressure to get it all right.

 

 
This post is featured in A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms: When You Need to Connect in Faith. Read all of the inspiring devotional posts by stay-at-home moms HERE.
 

 

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Ginger loves sharing with women in a variety of ways. Encouraging others to discover practical ways to go deeper with God is an emphasis evident in her popular blog, Ginger’s Corner: Where the Spiritual Meets the Practical. Join Ginger in the process of exploring the intersection of the spiritual and the practical with a variety of content including devotions and Bible study, spiritual how-to’s, family life, and humor.

Long ago she gave up the dream of having it all together, yet, she has learned that God can use every part of us – even the parts that struggle. Ginger writes for 5 Minutes for Faith and More to Be. Don’t miss good stuff, subscribe to Ginger’s Corner, like her FB page.
 
 

 

 
 
A big thank you to Ginger, my blogging friend, for sharing her wisdom of motherhood with us! I shared a bit about Ginger here and was very excited that she was going to share her mom motivation here with you. All moms can gain from reading her blog. God is using her to share some great lessons. For more Mom Motivation you can check out all the Survival Guide motivation posts here.
Successful Mom Daily Checklist to help you gain balance between housework and play time with the kids. Get more done, and feel more successful as a mom and homemaker.

Enjoy your time at home!

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September 10, 2014 by Jaimi Erickson 12 Comments Filed Under: faith

Comments

  1. Ginger Harrington says

    September 14, 2014 at 2:01 am

    I love the super-mom cape. Think I've got one in the closet:) He is indeed the super-hero!

    Reply
  2. bluecottonmemory says

    September 13, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Funny how saying good-bye to perfect opens the door to grace and peace! Life is better when we put down that super-mom cape and let Him be the super hero! I wish I'd had this message when I was a younger mother!

    Reply
  3. strainme says

    September 13, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    Eight years into motherhood, I am still learning this. I am not crafty and Pinterest makes me feel bad. Thank you for your words to help me fight it!

    Reply
    • Ginger Harrington says

      September 14, 2014 at 2:00 am

      So glad the Pintrest funny was encouraging. Blessings in your parenting!

      Reply
  4. Bumblebees R Us Day Care Center says

    September 12, 2014 at 5:02 am

    Being a super-mom is a huge challenge and for some, it becomes a frustration. 🙁
    In reality, you have to enjoy being a mom and accept your strengths as well as your limitations while making every moment worthy with the people you love. Thanks for sharing this inspiring post!

    Reply
    • Ginger Harrington says

      September 12, 2014 at 9:22 pm

      So true. I love the way thoughtful comments can expand a post. Thanks so much for contributing!

      Reply
  5. Ginger Harrington says

    September 11, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    In reality, it is in seeing these things that makes us better mom's–for it brings us to a greater resource and strength that gets at the real rather than at the image. Thanks for leaving a comment!

    Reply
  6. Crystal Twaddell says

    September 11, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    Ginger, your words resonate with me!!!! I too wanted to be a great mom, and what a noble calling, but you are so right when you say: "When good things become rules and comparison drags our self-esteem into the gutter, Super-Mom Syndrome isn't working." Realizing God had a purpose for my family in creating a legacy and also finally getting that He had a calling on my children which reached way beyond my own abilities helped me release the reigns and just enjoy being their mom. Your words are perfect for every mom! Dropping by from Holley's place and so glad I did:)

    Reply
  7. Ginger Harrington says

    September 11, 2014 at 12:43 am

    Thanks so much, Karen. Oh, the many times God has to work this into my stubborn soul!

    Reply
  8. Karen Brown says

    September 10, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    Ginger- Your words are what's ringing true in my heart lately. God certainly uses motherhood to show me how weak and dependent I am…. and how foolish it is to try to be Super Mom. Thank you for writing it so beautifully. This line is one for my journal: "For in trying to measure up, I miss the grace that comes when I open my heart and rest in God." Loved this!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Living Miracles at Summer’s End | Ginger's Corner says:
    August 4, 2016 at 8:27 pm

    […] warm welcome to my new friends visiting from The Stay-At-Home-Mom Survival Guide, where I have the honor of posting […]

    Reply
  2. True Confessions of Super-Mom Syndrome | Ginger's Corner says:
    August 4, 2016 at 8:27 pm

    […] Continue reading this tell-all confession… Make sure you click over to Jaimi’s blog because you don’t want to miss this! […]

    Reply

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