4 Ways My Mom Taught Me to Find Balance in Motherhood

Getting a lot of time with my mom was like a college course in parenting. I am able to be joyful and at peace with being a mom because she taught me valuable lessons for finding balance as a mom.

My mom wanted to be present with us, to be able to watch over us, teach lessons when we needed to learn them, and to keep us safe before we were at an age to be independent. She took responsibility for her priority to care for her children. She wanted to only stay home, but worked part time (midnight shift, 11pm to 7am) as a nurse because the family budget needed supplemental income.

She did not sacrifice her time with us at home. She gave up sleep. Her “me time” was trying to sneak in a nap after working all night.

She taught my brother and me that we were loved and valuable by being present for us no matter how tired she was. She needed more sleep, or felt like she did, but she got by with what she needed to do to care for her family. She taught us responsibility because she sacrificed to care for us.

I learned that being a responsible mom often means sacrificing.

She taught respect

When we misbehaved, she acted as a responsible parent and taught us valuable lessons in those moments. She wanted to be an effective mom even if that meant she was not always popular with my brother and me!

Her goal was not to be liked by her children, but to teach us to be responsible adults. Of course, we loved her and liked her for being willing to set boundaries and enforce them-even with the tough choices as a mom.

I learned that being a mom often requires patience and perseverance to hold our ground in order to teach our children to be respectful.

She taught me realistic motherhood

When we get a lot of time with our mothers, we get to see the ups and downs of being a mom. We see the good moments, the bad, the lovely and the challenging.

I saw my mom push through exhaustion after working her night shift as a nurse. She never got the recommended amount of sleep the “experts” say we need. She was strong. I saw her be real. She did not care if she was in sweats all day, or did not get her makeup put on, she did not let magazine photos dictate her motherhood goals.

I learned that motherhood is not always put-together or perfect.

She taught me to sacrifice

Me time is the popular phrase of motherhood these days. We are told we must have it. Many of us feel like we need it more than we get it.

My mom did not regularly go out with friends, or go on long shopping trips, or get her nails done. She prioritized home, children and family.

I never heard her say, “I need some time to myself.” 

I never heard her say, “What about my time?” 

She just was mom and wife and made up her mind to be happy.

I learned joy in motherhood is not about getting what I want. Joy as a  mom is focusing on being happy for the time I get to spend with those I love and who love me most.

Shari’s Berries sent my mom some yummy treats so I could celebrate her this Mother’s Day.

My mom and dad were able to indulge a bit. They said the dipped strawberries from Shari’s Berries were delicious!

My children and I did a video chat with my parents to wish my mom a happy Mother’s Day when they received the treats from Shari’s Berries. We live on the opposite side of the country from them, so we could not be together to share.

Being a military family, we are often away from family on important days. To be able to connect over the internet is so helpful. We just wish we could have shared some of those yummy treats!

The best part of my relationship with my mom is, no matter how many miles are between us, she knows exactly what I am feeling in any parenting situation because she has been there.

She teaches me that the choice to be happy is valuable, can lead to contentment in this season of life and does not hold us back from accomplishing our goals in life.

I often hear her say:

“This too shall pass,” 

“They won’t be little forever,” 

“Just think about how much sleep you’ll get when they are teenagers.” 

Recently she even said, “Remember that your first priority right now is being a mom.”

She is right.

My mom was her own version of super mom. She set her priorities, did not whine about the challenges and never gave up.

Being a mom is hard work. I need to remember that the time will pass. That means pending it with those on whose lives I have the greatest impact is a version of paying it forward.

Thank you mom for all of the great lessons you did not even know you were teaching me. Happy Mother’s Day!

To view all of the chocolate covered berries, chocolate treats and gift sets, check out the Shari’s Berries website.

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