Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Heather}

Feeling stuck in disciplining your children and want to enjoy them more? Nurture your relationship with your kids in simple ways to grow your bond.

“No, don’t do that”.

 “Time for bed”.

 “Get in the car, we’re running late”.

“Clean up your room”.

 “Why can’t you pick up your clothes?”

Do these statements sound familiar?

Day in and day out our daily lives are filled with me teaching the girls how to act and what to do.

I have to make sure they grow up to be good people.

I have to make sure we teach them all we know.

I have a responsibility to our girls.

As the girls get older there just seems to be more and more to teach them.

Some days I feel like I teach and discipline them more than I celebrate them. I’m in a weird, swirling vortex of disciplining with a lot of helping, a splash of yelling and threatening, and a pinch of nagging.

I try so hard to focus my attention on the fact that they are good people already. Although it’s my job to discipline them it’s also my job to enjoy them, right?

However, it is easy to lose sight of that.

It’s easy to not see what is right in front of me.

My two perfect daughters-

Whose only agenda for the day is to play, jump, laugh and squirm.

Who want their mom’s attention–full attention!

And yet, I am tormented by all the things I have not taught them.

It drives me crazy they haven’t learned how to do this or that.

They take their time when I wish they would hurry up.

All I see is one more thing I could be helping them learn…

And through it all those two little girls wait.

They wait as another birthday passes,  as they outgrow their shoes, as they ride bikes without training wheels.

They are patient,

for me.

It dawned on me that one of the most important things we are responsible for with our children is nurturing our relationships with them.

Yes, teaching them to grow up to be good people is important.

Making them understand hard work and dedication is a must.

But those things are not as important as nurturing the relationship I have with my girls.

Because after I teach them and help them grow if I haven’t nurtured OUR relationship we won’t have anything left once they do sprout their wings and go out into the world.

Our relationship has to be so much more and I’m doing something about it.

The steps I’ve taken to nurture my relationship with my girls are simple. They’re in line with the way I want to live my life. They’re helping me slow down and take more time to enjoy my time with my girls.

Feeling stuck in disciplining your children and want to enjoy them more? Nurture your relationship with your kids in simple ways to grow your bond.

6 Ways I Nurture the Relationship with My Kids

 1) More downtime, less running around

I needed to be doing something all. the. time. I like to stay busy. After I had the girls I stayed busy out of necessity. I had to get things done and I have always felt pressure to keep running around doing something to keep my day in order.

Now, I’m more focused on getting the urgent things I need finished and then relaxing with girls. We might choose to jump on the trampoline, play a game of Candy Land, or just read a million books before bed.

 2) More listening, less barking orders

When I’m short on time I get anxious and that usually comes out in the form of a raised voice and yelling. It doesn’t make me feel good so I know it doesn’t make my girls feel good.

I’m trying really hard to

listen to them more,

speak softer to them,

really let them know I am here available to talk with them whenever they want.

3) More playing, less focus on my to-do lists and errands

This is hard for me. I am a task driven person and marking things off my to-do list makes me feel accomplished. I’m slowly learning to let my errands and tasks that aren’t urgent go, so they do not get in the way of spending time with the girls.

I’ve also learned that those things will still be there waiting for me to finish them tomorrow. I’ve learned I don’t always have to rush to finish everything on my list right away.

4) Less planned out days, more go with the flow

Schedules are great, especially for kids, but sometimes it needs to be less about a rigid schedule and more about just going with the flow. I used to live and die by my schedule and I wasn’t happy.

I always felt rushed and like we were living by the schedule every day. I’m leaving more room in our schedule so we are able to take time to just relax and rejuvenate. For example, we try to get everything done before the weekend so we can just spend time doing what we want when we want.

5) Focusing less on things being perfect

I typically want things to be just so, but with kids that type of mentality can drive you crazy. I should know, I’ve tried so hard to have everything as close to perfect as possible.

But, you know what?

It can’t be perfect, and even near perfect is a bit of a stretch these days. I’ve taken it down a few notches and just focus on what I can do today.

I used to have to make sure everything was done by the end of the day and now I’m trying to relax more and just let things go.

6) Staying in the moment

Over the last 32 years of my life I have attempted to live in the moment and have failed miserably every time. I always want to be doing something else or be somewhere else or think about what else I could be doing instead of being in the here and now.

Now I try to be present in whatever I am doing with the girls. If I’m playing with them I try very hard not to think about work or my to-do list or the dozen other things running through my head.

I want to be with my girls doing what they’re doing when we are together.

These things have really helped me refocus my attention on enjoying my girls and focusing less on things that aren’t as important.

It’s hard to change these things, but little by little I am noticing changes in my day-to-day life. Eventually I hope my girls notice.

I hope they look back on these years and remember that I emerged from the swirling vortex completely different than when I entered it, with a huge smile on my face.

A weekly series of motivation for moms brought to you by stay at home mom bloggers at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide.

Feeling stuck in disciplining your children and want to enjoy them more? Nurture your relationship with your kids in simple ways to grow your bond.

Heather of Just Becoming Me contributor to Mom Motivation Mondays series at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival GuideHeather lives in Florida with her husband, two girls and two pups. She is a lover of most things in life, too many to name here without scaring you, but a few include working out, learning new recipes, Pinterest, organizing (yes, it’s true!), home decor and learning to lead a more minimal and purposeful life.

She started Just Becoming Me as a venture to better understand herself and what will lead her towards a more fulfilling life. Her motto is: “We only have one life, and I want to learn to live mine in a way that gets me excited to jump out of bed.”

More Mom Motivation & Encouragement:

 Facts About Motherhood Moms Need to Accept

Losing Myself in Motherhood

Stuck in the Bad Moments

Motherhood, I Surrender!