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Moms Have Goals Too

January 2, 2012 by Jaimi Erickson 4 Comments

Ready to have the ENERGY to be the best mom you can be? Get started! Thanks for stopping by!

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Ever feel like being a mom means people think you don't have goals? Have you stopped thinking about your personal goals since becoming a mom? It's time to remember that setting and achieving goals is important and you can make progress even during the motherhood stage of life.

When I say I am a stay-at-home mom, I get the feeling that people assume I have no skills. I remember sitting with some fellow military spouses before any of us had children. We were talking about our “work” experiences. Even though I and two other spouses had teaching experience, whenever I tried to add to the conversation the talking halted. I felt like I was being ushered into a harsh new reality: choosing to be a SAHM means everyone will assume you are incompetent.

It’s like the fall-back right? The choice you make when you can’t handle the real world, juggling life and kids and work and marriage. You just decide to stay at home. Never is a conversation ended before it begins than when a working woman hears that I am a stay-at-home mom. It’s as if SAHM is code for “can contribute nothing to the conversation.”

Do you feel that rejection in conversation? Do you feel that push aside as if you have no personal goals or skills worth sharing?

I do. 

The reality is that I have lists of goals I want to achieve in my life. I may get there. I may not.

I know for sure that I can’t achieve everything on my to do list as a mom every day, so chances are many of my life goals will be achieved on a much more long-term timeline than I may want to admit. That’s the realist in me. I don’t dare dip my feet into the pool of thinking I can achieve it all on my time. My life is not for me alone.

We moms have goals. Right now our goals are caring for our families so they don’t end up as the topic of an after-school special. (Remember those?)

My goals as a mom are important. 

Every new year, I think about what I want to improve about myself.  I have concrete goals that I hope to accomplish in my lifetime.  You probably do as well.

As a child, I remember finding a list of goals that my father had written down on a piece of paper. He stored his list of goals in the main desk drawer in our home ‘office’ space.  From the age of about 8, I learned that it was important, to set goals for my personal achievement and work hard to accomplish them over time.

They may not get checked off of the list in a week, or even in 5 years, but I would be at least working towards the accomplishment of them over time.  

(Of course, the steps along the way are not the listed goals, but they can be looked back on as milestones as well.)

Your goals are important too, even though you may be placing many of them on the sidelines right now by necessity or choice as you care for your family.

Take a look at what those goals are. Think about how you are growing and will grow as a person even while in this role of mom right now.

The truth is you can set goals that expand beyond being a mom, and work on many of them while still staying at home with your family.

Moms Have Goals: Setting and Achieving Them

Write down your goals.

Make a list! The items do not have to be things you can accomplish this year. Whatever you want to do in your life, write it down.

Maybe you want to continue to be a better wife, be a better mother, be a better daughter, etc.  That’s great!

Maybe you want to go to school to earn a degree.  Maybe you want to learn to knit.  Maybe you want to start a home-based business.

Write it all down.

My goals: (Anything crossed off is a goal I have achieved…even as a SAHM!)

I hope to earn a Master’s Degree at some point.

I hope to start a preschool.

I want to build a home-based business.

I hope to be able to roll this blog into a financial opportunity. 

I want to write about 5 books-the topics are swirling in my head already. (First book is drafted.)

I hope to open an Etsy store.

I hope to improve as a wife. (Probably will never be 100% done with this one.)

I hope to grow more patient as a mom.

Don’t Get Disappointed in Your Speed of Achieving Your Goals

This list can be daunting to me.  Maybe your list will be a little scary to you.

I know I can’t reach all of these goals tomorrow: my time is too needed by my family right now. I want to give it to them.

There are however pockets of time in my days, as my children have grown, that allow me to focus some time on my goals separate from motherhood.

Of course MY goals may not always be what God needs me to do in my life. I wrote about my constant struggle/conversation with God about His will and my will for my life.

Setting goals is about looking forward, and I do need to stay focused on today as well.

That’s ok.

I know that every day I achieve the goal of instilling self esteem in my children.

I know I achieve building my husband’s sense of accomplishment by reminding him how lucky we are to have each other and two beautiful children.

I know I can take some credit in providing a comfortable, safe, loving, soft place to land for my family and myself.

I have this list that may not be written down, but I work on it every day.

It’s not about pride or being selfish. Setting goals and focusing on when we achieve them is about being better today than we were yesterday. It is not prideful to want to improve-exactly the opposite.

To want to improve means we are humble enough to notice that we have areas that could be improved. But balance that with spending your time where you need to most today.

It’s ok that our written goals may take time to achieve. It may be years before we actually start to work on one item.  That’s ok.

We are still productive every day: count the diapers, temper tantrums navigated, meals cooked, etc.

Make your list.  Store it in a place that is not in your face every moment, but where you can find it when you think of something new to add. Read it periodically in case you get to a point where you can check off an item.

Keep your goals in mind, but don’t obsess over getting it all done today. There is so much work to do as moms right now!

Life could end tomorrow, but chances are it won’t.  In my opinion, ‘seize the day’ does not mean: Get everything done, that you want to do, today.  It means: Do today what needs to be done, and remember that tomorrow is another day.


Ultimately what we do for another has more lasting an impact than what we accomplish only for ourselves.

Moms have goals too, but our timeline for achieving them is not only our time.

What are some major goals you have on your list?
Ever feel like being a mom means people think you don't have goals? Have you stopped thinking about your personal goals since becoming a mom? It's time to remember that setting and achieving goals is important and you can make progress even during the motherhood stage of life.
This post was featured in A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms: Personal Growth Resources.
View all of the included articles HERE.

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Filed Under: homemaking, motherhood, motivation Tagged With: goals, list, New Year's resolution, resolution

Trackbacks

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“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” - Audrey Hepburn

I spotted her just looking at our little seedlings. The peace of doing with our hands what we have learned with our mind is so satisfying. 

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What are your plans for the weekend? #friyay We What are your plans for the weekend? #friyay 

We are having a few neighbors over tonight. (Obviously not locked down here. 👌) 

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What are you thankful for today? 

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When I think about my homeschool style (aka structure) it has definitely evolved over the years. I never really researched a style until today actually. 😂 What I found was, we started as Traditional - workbook-based learning. Then I added Unit Studies to our Traditional structure. Now we naturally have shifted to a more Charlotte Mason + Unit Study approach for some subjects and Traditional approach for a few subjects (math most specifically). 

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Today our day began with a visit to our library. When we got home the kids all found a spot and were so quietly reading I did not want to shift gears! So I didn’t. 

There was reading, eating, drawing, painting, and so much quiet you guys I just had to let the kids go with this. My brain was soaking in the peacefulness.

When I started homeschooling, I would have never thought that a day like this would make me feel successful. It feels so good to have reached this point. 

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You know what’s funny? I took this pic not even You know what’s funny? I took this pic not even noticing what random things were out of place. 😅 Perfect for this post today. 👇

Motherhood is a juggling act. We try to seek balance and be joyful, but kids, husband, house, our needs and wants all pull us in different directions.

We worry that if we drop one ball they all will come crashing down! We are busy, yet not feeling productive many days. The line between needs and wants become blurred.

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having a together day when we are not, or elaborate spring cleaning tasks that sound great and get pinned but ultimately leave us feeling even deeper in frustration when we do not complete them.

*****
Balance is not a place where you go and never ever again feel a bump in the road.

Balance is an on-going, always changing, never finished job. 

*****

If you feel out of balance today, you are just in the process of working your way back to it. 

If today was a great day, prepare yourself now because the scale may tilt and things may feel out of your control tomorrow. #reallife

It is not easy to cut things from our calendars or limit our focus each day. I feel that struggle so much. My whole family needs and deserves my time and attention. I am constantly in a state of re-balance, and making attempts to re-organize, as I attempt to balance four children and a husband.

That requires a lot of humility, prayers for God’s peace in my life, and relieving myself of any guilt for not doing it all every day.

Do you see the items out of place in this pic or are you focused on the beauty within it? 😉💕

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#AD Today was hard! School took longer than expect #AD Today was hard! School took longer than expected, grocery shopping got pushed back, and I am soaking up my time to get quiet and pray it all away. 

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One of the simplest ways to recharge is with a good old hot shower. I think it pretty much cures mom overwhelm and stress. I always planned my showers around the kids’ quiet times. That way I could take my time.

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I spy two creatures who naturally love nature, wat I spy two creatures who naturally love nature, water and most of all dirt. 😍

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#AD Yesterday we had some talks. Things got a litt #AD Yesterday we had some talks. Things got a little tense. There were tears because she was embarrassed about what she did and said. 

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How have you been taking time to recharge while st How have you been taking time to recharge while staying at home? Making my list of favorite ways to refresh ‘cause moms with full schedules from morning to night need some simple ideas to get in quiet time. 👏 Do you need recharge time?

I like keeping it simple. 👌 Luxurious shampoo and body butter to maximize the spa feel after a hot shower, Bible study in the morning with my coffee, walking the dog solo are just a few of my break ideas. (I think hot showers are a cure all for a lot of stress! Time to think, feeling the strain wash away...all good things.) What do you think?

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I am going to finish up this blog post and share it all with you. Share what you do too! I would love to give you a  mention you in the post. 👩🏼‍💻 💕

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When you really focus on fear, isn’t it pretty s When you really focus on fear, isn’t it pretty silly how much we let it run our lives? 

Anyone who knows my 7 year old daughter knows she has a “no fear” spirit. She can be a bit of an adrenaline junkie. She is always moving, seeking out fun and not intimidated by the unknown.

As a parent I both admire and cringe. 😅 

I find that I have to suppress my fear when it comes to her adventurous spirit so I do not diminish her true nature. I also have to be on the ball from a parenting perspective to talk through being smart while having fun. 

It is not as if we can ever see the results from the actions before we act though. 

Remembering myself how I truly only know what I see and what faith teaches me allows me to focus on eliminating fear from ruling.

For many years I was the opposite of my wild child. I was always thinking too far ahead to see what potential pain may come. That suppressed my nature. I see my kids so social, so eager to try new things and it energizes me to set that example too. 

Fear is not a worthwhile debate partner. 

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” ~Proverbs 31:25, NIV

Do you wrestle with fear in parenting and life in general or are you more of the no fear type?

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Everything is better with people who are genuine, Everything is better with people who are genuine, content, loving and honest. 

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