Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.
{This week: Post by Lisa}
There are decisions we must make for our children that are not easy. They are the kind of decisions that keep us up all night wondering what to do and we question our ability to be a confident mom.
Maybe you are faced with a tough decision for your child. Perhaps it’s medical, living arrangement, custody issue, or an educational choice. You are not alone.
Recently I noticed that both of my kids are struggling with academics. We had them evaluated and they both have learning issues.
We are a homeschooling family. My children have never gone to a public school. My son is eight and my daughter is seven.
They both have challenges that keep them from processing information correctly.
After my husband and I discussed their delays we decided to get specialized help. It’s been helpful, but I sense they need more.
It was a heart wrenching time. I felt like all my confidence went out the window. I worried about my children’s well being.
During this time, I questioned my life long dream to homeschool. I considered putting my children in a school. I thought maybe if I looked hard enough I could find something better for them. I was worried that I didn’t have what it would take to help them succeed.
I had to decide quickly because the school I was looking at had a deadline for registration. I was sick to my stomach, light headed, and couldn’t sleep for days.
Making decisions is a hard enough process, and even more so when the decisions are about our children.
It’s our responsibility to provide them with the best.
That’s a lot of pressure, isn’t it?
This is what I did before I made my final decision, and I learned so much along the way.
How to be a Confident Mom When You Feel Like You Are Not
Go to God
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Several concerns filled my mind and I worried about my children’s educational success several months before we took them in to be tested. Overtime my fears turned into anxiousness. I couldn’t see things clearly.
When I finally went to God I was a big mess.
It’s important to acknowledge every concern that comes our way. When we don’t we allow them to grow into worry.
While resting in His loving care I was reminded that there is no one in this whole world that knows my children better than He does and He has equipped me to care for them.
Moms we are the ones that love them unconditionally and they share their hearts with us because we are their moms and we are safe. Our kids also take off their masks when they are with us. There is no pretending.
God reassured me that my concerns matter and that He calls me to act on them. It’s my job as a mom to make decisions based on knowledge that comes from observation and not from fear.
When we make, a decision based on fear we tend to control the outcome and we miss the message found in the process. We must pay attention to our concerns and not overlook the issues at hand.
I decided to surrender my concerns to God and trust Him to lead me.
Do What is Right and Not What Others Expect
We can’t please everyone and it’s not our job to do so. Our job is to do what we believe is right for our children. We are their advocate. There will always be others who will judge us and criticize. It’s important for us to trust our understanding and Momma wisdom!!!
I had reached a point in my decision making where I had to stop listening to others opinions and suggestions. I quickly learned that loved ones will give the easy way out solutions. People who care about us don’t like seeing us live in turmoil and their advice is not about what’s best but what is less stressful. Caring ones brought more confusion to the table and this was exhausting.
The hardest part of being in dialogue with others about a decision is that they impose their fears and expectations on us and we feel we must defend ourselves.
I’ve learned it’s best to make decisions before telling others what you have decided to do.
Asking others to pray over the decision is more beneficial.
Seek Professional Council
Counsel is meant to help us find our own answers, and to be challenged by new insights and realizations.
I discovered that counsel can come in many forms. I received counsel through a book that discussed the same issues I was addressing. The Author has over thirty years of experience, she knows what she is talking about and is very popular in her field of experience.
I talked with several others that had similar stories like mine. Everyone confirmed what I knew and all shared common approaches for best practice.
My decision was becoming clearer.
Trust the Final Decision to God
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your outcome. Jeremiah 29:11 (AMPC)
After hours in prayer over a course of a couple of days I made my decision to continue homeschooling. I decided to trust my God given gift to teach my two kids with learning problems. God gave me measurable tools to work with, community and family support.
I have learned that God will never ask me to do something and then not provide me with the resources to be successful. I’m putting all my confidence in God and I’m simply saying, “Yes I will do this.”
I hope that my decision-making steps are helpful and that you will find your answer soon. The most important thing to remember is that we don’t have to decide until we feel peace about it.
Lisa is an aspiring writer with a mother’s passion for Homeschool Education. She has an 8 yr. old son, a 7 yr. old daughter, and has been married to her husband for 10+ yrs. Prior to marriage, she worked over 20 yrs. enriching the lives of hundreds of children and families. Lisa has a Bachelors in Social Work and Early Childhood Education. You can read more of Lisa’s posts on her blog – http://thefamilyroadmap.com/
Thank you for sharing this. Almost every mom would relate with this article. But its okay to seek help during this stage. Talking to fellow moms who share the same feelings will help greatly.
Thank you so much for sharing your struggles with your readers. I’m sure that will help many of us who go through similar decision-making. I will be praying for you as you continue your homeschooling journey.
Thank you Lauren for your prayers and being here today with us.