Family Boundaries Equal Family Values

Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Lisa}

My dogs do a great job warning me if someone enters my yard. The fence and markings around my house defines my boundaries. To walk through my yard to take a short cut or to throw litter in my grass is a violation. What comes in and out of my yard matters to me and I don’t take trespassing lightly.

I’d call the police if someone climbed over my backyard fence. I don’t let anybody in my house unless I know them. I don’t open the door if I have never met them before. No one has any business interrupting my time or entering through my yard unless invited.

I guard the inside and outside of my home and nothing will pass me.

I feel the same way about my heart and my family. I’m very careful about what I listen to, read, and watch. I only allow people into my home that are respectful and show honor. My heart rests in my home. It’s a quiet place where I feel safe. I fight to keep it a safe place for my loved ones.Boundaries are rules that we set to protect our heart, mind, and body. We have boundaries to keep others out that don’t respect us.

I’m committed to teaching my children good healthy boundaries. They need to see a strong momma who stands up against wrong and fights for truth. There are parents and kids that we don’t invite over for dinner or play dates. We will not go over to everyone’s house that we get invited to. For others to be part of our inner life they need to share the same values that we have. They need to show a love towards God and others.

Why Teach Children Boundaries?

Children need to take charge of their personal space. Everyone should have a safe invisible line around them that keeps hurtful people out. How we keep our children safe is for another post. This post is to teach children to respect other people’s boundaries.

I want my children to have good healthy relationships and be invited to good loving Christian homes for dinner and play dates.

I don’t want my child to be the one climbing other people’s fences to take a short cut. I don’t want to get a phone call from a police officer telling me that my daughter or son trespassed. I don’t want my kids to come back home after they have moved out because they got fired for being lazy at work.

In teaching children boundaries I expect them to honor my boundaries.

Good teaching happens in the day to day life by caring for our home and one another. If children don’t learn to show honor in family life they will have a hard time showing it out in the world. The best thing we can do for our kids is to set limits, have them participate in chores, and do what they are asked to do when we ask them to do it.

It’s up to the parents to create routines and schedules for children to follow and respect.

Even though everyone’s input is important, parents must be the ones who make the final decision. In the real world of work, we all know that the boss expects workers to do exactly what they are asked to do.

Home is the place to practice doing what is expected and doing it well. We are only hurting our kids if we don’t have clear boundaries.

Boundaries That Teach Family Values

The following are suggestions, my opinion, and come from my value system. I’m not saying you should do the following. I’m simply sharing ideas for you to consider if you wish.

Every family is different and we all have to stand for what we believe is right. We can’t let our children walk all over us and get what they want all the time. We must be consistent and have appropriate consequences when rules are broken.

A family without clear rules is a family that lives in chaos. Kids who live in chaos don’t have boundaries or respect other people’s boundaries.

A spoiled child lives selfishly.

This is what I believe:

1. Parents own the house and kids are the guests. Kids must be kind and respectful. Pick up after yourself and don’t bring anything in the house that is not permitted.
2. Parents rule screen time and kids must comply.
3. Parents interview friends before play dates, sleep overs, or going out. Parents have final say.
4. Parents have final say about music and books
5. Parents make the final decision about child’s education
6. Parents set the stage for homework time, bed time, and outdoor play.
7. Parents may look through back packs, desks and drawers any time they wish. No lock boxes.
8. Parents are in charge of assigning chores for kids to do daily.
9. Parents hold the keys to the car and set the curfew time.
10. Parents choose church and religion for family. Kids don’t have to accept but are required to go to church when parents go.
11. Parents are in charge of what food will be served and the time meals will be served.
12. Parents chose bed time and what time kids need to get up in the morning.

Within my set of rules I give my kids choices, flexibility, and training. My goal is to train them to make wise decisions on their own.

I want them to know how to pick good friends, be kind in conflict, and serve one another out of love and to care for their own wellbeing.

I strive to train my children to think for themselves because ultimately that is what they are going to need to do.

What do you do to teach family values in your home?

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Lisa is an aspiring writer with a mother’s passion for Homeschool Education. She has an 8 yr. old son, a 7 yr. old daughter, and has been married to her husband for 10+ yrs. Prior to marriage, she worked over 20 yrs. enriching the lives of hundreds of children and families. Lisa has a Bachelors in Social Work and Early Childhood Education. You can read more of Lisa’s posts on her blog – The Family Roadmap

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Enjoy your time at home!