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Crash Course in Child Development: Toddlers

January 5, 2012 by Jaimi Erickson 16 Comments

Ready to have the ENERGY to be the best mom you can be? Get started! Thanks for stopping by!

Welcome back! Did you already get started here?

Toddlers can seem tricky, but if we understand their development with this crash course in child development toddlers edition, we just may save our sanity through the toddler years...maybe!
We have made it through the sleepless nights of infancy, the milestones of crawling and first steps, and now, just as we have a nap schedule in place and a plan of attack for errands, the toddler stage begins! I know I needed a crash course in child development toddlers edition during the years of parenting toddlers.
This was my least favorite age when I was taking care of other people’s children, but surprisingly it has become a really fun stage with my own children.

 

I promise that no matter the struggle you are facing with your toddler, this crash course in child development toddlers will help clarify WHY toddlers seem so tricky and the suggestions will at least help you adjust to life with a toddler in this developmental stage.

Remember, this too shall pass…

This crash course in child development toddlers edition will help you navigate the ages from 14 months to 3 years old. 

Crash Course in Child Development: Toddlers

Toddlers are egocentric (p. 40). In their minds, (based on their psychological abilities), the world revolves around them.  They think if they see it and they want it, they can have it and it belongs to them. This is a product of their developing a sense of self and self esteem.

Toddlers feel small when they look at how big the world is around them (p. 32).  This sense of size and scale breeds their feelings of separation anxiety.  Children from 1-to-2, or 3 years old can have difficulty separating from you. This is normal for many toddlers. It is also essential that we make sure they know that we are available for them when they feel this emotional reaction to our leaving.

 

Toddlers are well within the sensorimotor stage of child development (using their senses to explore their world) explored by psychologist, Jean Piaget (p. 33). This is why their favorite word is ‘no’!  (They have learned that they can act and speak, and they are willing to assert some independence!) They are asserting their sense of self based on their explorations and your boundaries.

 

Toddlers act as explorers “grappling with growing up” (p. 33) and developing a sense of independence as they move into the next stage of development called the preoperational stage. They are moving to the first levels of symbolic thought (using words and mental images to remember and think about their world), but it is a work in progress.

 

Through their explorations, toddlers observe others as well.  Bad habits can form when toddlers begin learning from other children. (This is why the idea that toddlers need to “socialize” away from you in order to develop friendships is misguided.)

 

I had to actually stop attending a playgroup when my son was about 18 months old because he kept copying undesirable behaviors of the older children and I wanted to pull him back and allow him to develop his sense of right and wrong a bit more before exposing him to large groups of children again.  One of the perks of staying home is that you can be with your child as they begin to socialize with other children and nip bad behaviors in the bud. You also have immediate ability to identify which children are beneficial ‘friends’ and which are just showing a poor example.

 

Your reinforcement or correction of behaviors is forming their understanding now of what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Don’t underestimate these little munchkins: they are soaking up everything!

 

A couple of these ‘bad behaviors’ that toddlers commonly exert are biting and hitting.  Children in this age group need a lot of supervision.  The ratio in day care centers is 8:1 (in the centers where I worked).  Could you imagine supervising 8 toddlers by yourself in your home all day?  I am the mom of twins, so I have had 2 toddlers at once-and that is crazy at time!

 

Toddlers are so fast, so curious, and NEED limits, thus they need constant supervision.

 

Biting and hitting are a means of communication that a toddler may use when they do not fully grasp how to say what they feel.  They do not generally have the language abilities required to talk their way out of a problem. They resort to defending themselves and what they perceive to be their stuff.  Whatever they can see and touch they think belongs to them.

 

Positive emotional development of a toddler requires immediate intervention by an adult.  They are still concrete thinkers (they can only think it or know it if they can see it), so talking about what happened NOW is necessary. They will not be able to recall an issue from an hour ago, because they are not fully using memory to process their experiences yet.

 

Because toddlers feel emotions, but do not use a wide range of language to express their thoughts, we have to repeatedly teach them what to say. Do you feel like a broken record at times? Have you said these things 100 times today?

“Use your words,”
“Say, ‘please may I have the toy’,”
“Let’s share it. Take a turn and then we’ll switch.”

 

By age 2, a toddler’s vocabulary contains 50-60 words (p.36).  Between 2-3 years old, the vocabulary expands to 200-1,000 words.

 

There is variation from child-to-child and this range can mean ‘understood words’ and not necessarily ‘spoken words’ if your child is not talking yet.  No child is the same, so be patient as your toddler develops the use of language: model, model, model!  They learn what they see and hear.

 

“[…] Toddlers learn about how to relate to other people through daily interactions with their families […],” (p.35) and “they learn how to treat others by experiencing how they are treated,” (p. 35).

 

By controlling the exposures and the people in their daily interactions, you will best guide the development of your toddler.  VERY do-able for us Stay-at-Home Moms since we can make our schedule and interactions flexible.

 

I did not find the toddlers to be a good time for a lot of separation for extended periods of time. Toddlers need immediate guidance, a bunch of communication, and loads of consistency!

 

The key tips for toddlers are: 
1) impose limits, 
2) present guidance (of behavior, language use, emotions) and, 
3) instigate their curiosity.

1) Limits-Watch how they play and tell them when they need to stop, share, give back, etc. when an issue occurs. Don’t wait until later to save your child from embarrassment. They will have forgotten about the issue.

 

2) Guidance-Use language to teach your toddler how to navigate through communication whether telling another child to give back the toy that was taken, expressing that they are mad with words rather than biting, or asking for their cup.

 

3) Instigate-Present them with activities and opportunities to explore like those on the Toddler Activities page on this blog.  Plenty of gross motor movement is essential as well.  These developing walkers and runners need to burn off that extra energy.

 

This ‘tricky,’ misunderstood age group does not have to require complicated interventions.  They need consistency, active adult presence, guidance, and interesting, developmentally appropriate activities to explore.  I also use a developmental checklist found here.

Cherish this time because you are influencing and teaching your tricky toddler!

How have the toddler years been in your home?

Toddlers can seem tricky, but if we understand their development with this crash course in child development toddlers edition, we just may save our sanity through the toddler years...maybe!

Reference: The Creative Curriculum for Infants and Toddlers

Find resources for implementing routines and schedules in your home. Printables and suggested schedules make it so easy!

This post was featured in A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms: Parenting Tips. View all of the parenting resources and tips HERE.
 
 

 

For more information 
and activities for toddlers, 
read these:
 
Teaching preschool at home for non-crafty moms does not have to be intimidating. Affordable resouces exist for teaching preschool at home. #sponsored
Successful Mom Daily Checklist to help you gain balance between housework and play time with the kids. Get more done, and feel more successful as a mom and homemaker.

Enjoy your time at home!

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Filed Under: activities, parenting Tagged With: child development, toddlers

Comments

  1. Nat says

    July 6, 2017 at 4:12 am

    Great food for thought for me as I deal with my 22 months old toddler. Thank you Jaimi.

    Reply
    • Jaimi says

      July 21, 2017 at 3:35 pm

      Enjoy these moments as challenging as they may be at times.

      Reply
  2. Abby says

    March 4, 2017 at 5:00 am

    Really enjoyed the information shared here! Thank you!

    Reply
    • Jaimi says

      March 4, 2017 at 7:26 pm

      Thanks so much for letting me know, Abby! I am so glad it was helpful.

      Reply
  3. Echo M says

    January 26, 2014 at 5:52 am

    I have a very active 18 month old who loves to learn, but struggles to stay focused. I came across your blog while researching homeschooling option in our area for the future. I am very please to see how many geat activities you have provided to "jump start" his learning. And I'll be able to use what I've learned from these activities to also include/teach my 2nd child, due this spring. Thank you very much for your insight, and resources.

    Reply
    • Jaimi says

      January 16, 2015 at 10:46 pm

      Great news! I am so glad you found this list. I am going to be expanding each activity into greater detail and posting them individually with more pictures, so be sure to subscribe so you can get each new post sent right to you or follow along on social media and you will get notified that way too. 🙂 All the best to you!

      Reply
  4. Michelle Adler says

    August 28, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    Just a quick correction, Jean Piaget created the four stages of child development starting with the sensorimotor stage. Erik Erikson had the psychosocial stages of development. Either way, this blog is still fantastic!

    Reply
    • Jaimi says

      September 3, 2013 at 7:16 pm

      Thanks, Michelle!

      Reply
  5. Jaimi says

    January 9, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Thank you very much for the kind words! I am glad that you are reading and hope that the information is being received well. Great to hear that you will keep coming back for more!

    Reply
  6. Complan says

    January 8, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often. Child development

    Reply

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I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having m I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having my babies. I have learned so much from all my children but having my girls is a blessing I never knew I needed. 

Want to eliminate mean girls? Raise daughters to do the opposite.

Want to teach women to better communicate with each other? Raise daughters to listen and articulate.

They are my own little girl group and I am grateful for it. They love me on my bad days and give me compliments I do not even deserve. 

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What are the top lessons you wish girls would learn before becoming adults? 

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Will you be spending time with family for Easter? Will you be spending time with family for Easter? 

My husband’s parents have arrived - adding one more big dog to our house and lots of crafts and fun. We have not seen them since June. Everyone is excited to spend time together.

Both of my big kids have birthdays and we will all get to spend time at the beach this month. Our school work will morph into field trips so we soak up every day we can being present with family. 

I am looking forward to making memories, soaking in time together and celebrating two milestone birthdays - one happening tomorrow. 💛 

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Ice cream after helped of course. 😂

All prepped for my in-laws coming to visit us after not seeing them since our move last summer. Looking forward to some fun events ahead that will make my kids think they are on spring break but they will technically be field trip days. Check, check. 

Are you guys on spring break this week? What do you have planned?

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Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, fill your mind with encouragement and just keep moving forward. 

Recovery days are not just for working out. They are for the mental state we walk around with too. Yesterday felt heavy. My God is a power lifter and takes the burden away. 

Today will be better.

Today we will rest and refocus.

Hooray for comfy jeans, motivational graphics and the Word to focus on through it all. 

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🌟That Face!!🌟 That little boy is soon to t 🌟That Face!!🌟 

That little boy is soon to turn 13, guys! I mean in a few weeks. 😅

This is a throwback but brings back so many fun memories. 

—————————————

I love creating activities and crafts on the fly. Always have even before my kids were here.

I noticed that my son did not have a lot of little toy people to play with while he was pretending one day. We have a few cylinder blocks in a set. We never used them when we built. I thought we could turn them into little DIY toy people. 

They were so cute and easy to make. It was a preschool art project for him. We made them together.

If you don’t have wooden cylindrical blocks at home, you can use pieces of wood dowel or even a few square blocks glued together. You can even make DIY toy people out of toilet paper tubes. 

🌟Full details through Blog link in bio 🌟

——————————————

I am so excited and yet in complete shock by how fast these little lives grow. I have never missed moments and I am so so grateful especially as we approach the teen years in my house. 💛 Soak up even the hard days of being a mom. TOTALLY worth it. 

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👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out the 👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out there. I try to ignore a lot of them. 😂 

My kids stay up later than most recommend, but so did I when I was a kid. 

She loves to read. She loves to write. Abby writes plays, journal entries, songs and on a bad day she will write her feelings about it all, in depth, no holds barred. 

This night she was trying to finish up a play - setting, character details, order of lines - for a play she made for her younger sister. 

I am so thankful that we can count her love of writing in her free time as school work. I am so thankful that how we do school allows this passion and talent to thrive. She has stacks of drawings, plays and writing blurbs. They are all precious to her.

There are days I question whether this choice or that choice is right or “approved,” but it does not matter when I see my children dive deep into the things they love. 

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Give me my people any day. Family time this Sund Give me my people any day. 

Family time this Sunday was a 5k fundraiser race. We helped raise 💵 for the spouses’ club scholarship fund. Scholarships will be awarded for post secondary education to military kids and spouses. 

If you can choose any action in life, choose to help others. Side bonus when it involves fun family time together.

Best day yet. 💛💛💛

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💛 Friday Introductions💛 It has been a while 💛 Friday Introductions💛

It has been a while since I did a good run-down here to give ya the cliffs notes (are those still a thing) version of me. 👋 

💛 Detroit-born a few blocks from where Eminem lived. The city is still my hometown despite moving away as a kid.

💛 I am a big believer in traditional values, but with a modern woman twist. My husband drives his career and I drive this household.

💛 We live in eastern NC 30 mins from the beach. I want to stay here forever, truly, but military life will come to an end some day...still don’t know specifically when that will be.

💛Born and raised to be a planner, Type A personality, having 4 kids beat that out of me 🤣 and I am very “day at a time” now. 

💛I was a teacher turned stay at home mom turned blogger turned entrepreneur that had to set it all on the back burner a bit to focus on homeschooling my kids. I can only have so much on my plate and complete it successfully. (When we listen, God guides and is loud and clear with His direction. 💛)

💛I believe I can be humble and confident; I can be fully present with my kids and make space to rest and rejuvenate; I believe the biggest successes I will achieve in life will not have a paycheck as its valuation. 

💛I believe that true peace, value and love all come from Jesus. 

You will find me sharing the ups AND the downs of motherhood, wife life, homeschooling and being a Christian woman with the modern day pull to fight what that can mean. (There is def a force trying to convince us to push those values aside, my friends.)

👌What is the cliffs notes version of you? What do you want people to know/realize most of all?

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🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟 Often our c 🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟

Often our children learn hard lessons when they have to move to a new state or school. 

My kids have become all too familiar with this through military life. Every three years they have to make new friends.

It is not always simple.

As a child, my family moved a lot. We were not military, but in junior high I moved to a new state and had to make all new friends.

This was a challenging and even to some extent a traumatic time of life.

Being the new kid, is a humbling experience. Suddenly you are hoping that your peers will want to get to know you and like you. It creates some self-consciousness.

Reading is such a beneficial way to teach children about life lessons. It teaches much more than that. It teaches self esteem through the cuddle time. It teaches language skills, and it teaches children to use their minds to be creative.

As they have grown and navigated more friendships, books are a resource for us to discuss tough challenges. I have found a great series of books that present friendship challenges and help children learn to navigate them.

It just so happens that the author is my neighbor too! How cool is that?! Moms are amazing.

These books will be treasured by your family for their quality values. The @stingrayjelly series teach children how to make friends and navigate friendships to love others well and support them through shared similarities and recognized differences.

Author, Lauren Giannella is a military wife and my neighbor! Anna Perdue is the illustrator and also a military child. 

Read my blog post for details on each book and links to purchase through @barnesandnoble 

We love our military community and all they do to give back.

What are your favorite children’s books that teach children how to make friends or help them maneuver through tough life challenges?

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