Have you noticed this puzzling trend? In a time of anti-bullying legislation and overall intolerance for criticism of any kind, soft bullying
of moms from other moms is taking place. I say soft bullying
because it goes unnoticed by the one doing it; it is often masked in humor all at the expense of some moms.
I recently saw a meme on a blog that I really enjoy that called women with clean homes “dull” and women with messy homes “fascinating.”
I understand we moms need to laugh off the tough days. We want affirmation that if we can’t keep our homes and lives in perfect order all the time, we are still valuable and successful. That is true.
Let me tell you, my house is messy
more than clean these days. It is not what I prefer. I do have 4 kids and they can make some big messes faster than they and I can clean them up!
No, this is not about having the perfect, magazine-image home. This is about poking fun at moms who do motherhood well.
Yep, we are actually teasing moms who appear successful, as if having life “together” is a bad thing. Poking fun at them as we teach our children to treat others as we wish to be treated.
When Did Being a Good Mom Become a Bad Thing?
When did being a good mom become a bad thing? When did a clean home, well-adjusted kids and a happy marriage turn into negatives? This is interesting.
It is apparently cool to call yourself a bad mom. You can read about that here
. We get criticized if we call ourselves good moms as if confidence in motherhood means we are arrogant, prideful, judgmental…huh?
“I don’t think I’m alone in declaring that I’m not a bad mom
and I have no desire to identify myself as a bad mom.
In fact, I’m a very good mom and I’m proud of it.”
No Perfect Moms
I will be the first to admit here
and in this post
, as well as this post
, that I am not perfect-whatever that is.
Do I try hard to be a good mom and wife? Yes, even if I fail at times.
Do I have days where I am not put together and my kids misbehave? Yes.
But that is not what I want to celebrate.
I want to work hard to have good days, while learning from the bad. Can’t we moms connect knowing that bad moments happen but we can rise above them?
I think the women with clean homes
and well behaved children ought to be praised! It is not my job to determine if they are faking it or not. That is between them and God. I know many are NOT faking it.
The Bible says we will be judged by our fruit-what we produce is what defines us.
Ye shall know them by their fruits.
Matthew 7:16, KJV
Moms Doing their Best
I want to do my best to produce good fruit, good kids, a great marriage and a joyful life. My “fruit” will take years to be fully produced. A bad day today does not mean you are a bad mom.
The biggest disrespect the world shows moms these days is telling the good ones to shut up. I think differently. I want the good moms to share all that works for them
, so I can learn and try it in my home. I may not get all of their strategies to work for me, but why not try? Rejecting moms because they have things figured out is arrogant. That is not what a good mom does.
Will you join me in celebrating women who have figured out how to serve their families well and stop criticizing them? Can we learn from them knowing that we are still learning in our stage of motherhood and may be in a different place?
A good mom tries, learns, grows, respects and celebrates. Love one another applies to mom relationships too.
So, let’s try it-love one another in motherhood.
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