Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.
{This week: Post by Kristin}
“We are girls, Mommy.”
My observant, nearly three-year-old daughter loves bringing this to my attention lately. “Gavin and Dada are boys.” I look over and see her baby brother sitting on my husband’s lap, reading a book.
“You’re right, we are girls, and Dada and Gavin are boys.” I confirm and she smiles and nods knowingly.
I wonder what she thinks that means.
***
As a self-proclaimed feminist and a stay-at-home mom, I sometimes feel like a walking contradiction. While the world encourages women to “lean in,” I’ve purposely ducked and dodged.
I often think about the message that sends to my children, especially my daughter. She’s still young, but she’s sharp. She knows Daddy goes to work, and we discussed why; so he can make money and support our family. I think she understands most of that.
But when I explain that Mommy worked before she was born, and then I decided to stay home with her and her brother, I’m not sure if that translates — at least, not in the way I intend.
I want her to eventually know that I made this decision for our family. I want her to know that she will have to make a choice when it comes time to take care of her family.
I plan to raise my son and daughter the same — catering to their individual interests and needs, of course — but morally and socially, the same.
They will both have equal opportunities to play sports, cook meals, mow the lawn, wash the dishes, and when the time comes, get a job. There will be no “that’s a girl thing” or “that’s a boy thing” in our house. I find myself trying to lay the groundwork for this mindset, even while they’re still young.
And certain situations arise when I feel like I need to prove myself to my young daughter, not because I care what she thinks I’m personally capable of —I guess I care about that a little — but more because I care what she thinks women are capable of in general.
***
When our new bar stools arrived in the mail one day, I spilled out all of the contents on our living room rug and studied the assembly instructions with my little helper. Just my humble opinion, but 50 pieces seems a little excessive for simple stools!
After a half-hour trying to puzzle the pieces together, my daughter said in defeat, “Maybe we need Dada to help us.”
I laughed because she was probably right — he is more patient than I am with this sort of thing and she’s seen him assemble numerous pieces of furniture and toys — this seemed like a “Dad thing”. But because she said that out loud — because she thought it — I became determined to put the stool together. “We can do it, B — let’s keep trying!”
Suddenly our Amazon-prime bar stools turned into a metaphor for the strength and willpower of all women, everywhere. We were going to build the best darn barstools the world had ever seen! Overboard, I know — but also an opportunity to show her that we girls can use tools and build something out of nothing with our bare hands.
So we did.
It may have taken us the better part of an afternoon, but we built those stools and high-fived each other as we sat back admiring our work.
“You did it, Mama!” she exclaimed with too much shock in her tone for my liking.
“We did it, B! Because we’re girls and we rock!” I shot right back.
She smiled knowingly and said, “We are girls!”
A small victory in the fight for empowering my daughter to embrace being a woman, but a big win in her impressionable eyes.
The next generation of powerful women in the making.
Kristin is a mom to a 2 year old daughter and 6 month old son. Pre-motherhood she worked in the corporate marketing and public relations world. She is now a stay-at-home-mom and writer, penning all of the emotions, joys, and hardships of motherhood. You can find her writing regularly over at Tribe Magazine or follow her daily #momlife shenanigans on Instagram @KristinHelms_writer.