Raising Strong Children

Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Heather}

In the past couple of weeks I’ve had my fair share of negative situations. Life-changing situations that turned into making hard decisions. Situations I didn’t even attempt to put a positive spin on or try to hide from my children.

I didn’t try to hide my tears.

I didn’t try to hold my tongue.

I didn’t try to summon the energy to do anything beyond the bare minimum.

And they noticed.

They observed with the curiosity only a child can. Their little ears perked up as I talked on the phone to everyone who reached out to me. Their little eyes saw the tears that fell from my eyes.

They made mental notes that their dad was taking over household duties and bath time and bedtime while quietly turning to me and telling me that I need to go rest, do something for myself.

One day, my children and I were talking about school while they ate their snack.

All of a sudden my oldest looked at me.

She had concern written on her face and with clear eyes and a kind heart she looked at me and said, “I’m sorry Mom for what happened. I know you’re sad about it. It wasn’t fair, you didn’t do anything.”

I looked at her then, this little girl who will sooner than later be a young woman and felt tears welling up. She has no idea the strength she’ll have to muster to make it through some of the situations that will occur throughout her life. Situations I won’t always be able to see coming or shield her from.

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In this very critical moment at our kitchen table, which if you were passing by and happened to look in our window would have thought was simply a mother and her children talking and eating, I had an incredible opportunity to teach my children about strength.

One of the most important values I’m trying to instill in my children is the value of strength.

Not physical strength, but the strength to withstand the world they will one day enter into as adults. It’s more than just a value, it’s their right.

Their right to know how to handle situations, both big and small, that occur in their lives.

Their right to know that strength is something they hold inside of themselves every single day.

In the past, I’ve tried to shield my girls from most of the bad things in life.

I’ve tried to put positive spins on negative situations instead of using them as teaching moments.

I want to teach my children that we are in charge of how we react to situations. It’s in us to decide how these situations will progress.

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I looked at my oldest daughter, while holding her sister tightly in my lap, and saw this little earnest face peering at me waiting for my answer. What happened next took her by surprise.

I spoke with a firmness that made her little ears perk up.

I looked at her with fiery eyes that made her wonder what was going to happen.

Then I said, “Thank you. Always remember that you are strong. You have strength inside you and you need to learn how to create more strength inside yourself every day. You have to stand up for yourself. You have to use your strength to stand up for yourself even when others tell you that you are wrong.

You stay strong and most importantly do the right thing even when others don’t. You will one day need to be strong.

People will try to hurt you. They will do the wrong thing. And you still will need to be strong. Your strength is inside of you. It’s in your heart.”

She looked at me intently, little tears forming at the sides of her eyes. She jumped out of her seat and ran over to hug me.

I hugged each of my children. Then just to drive the point home because I am hoping this is a conversation they never forget.

I looked deep into their eyes,

I put my hand on their heart,

And said, “You are strong.”

My children looked at me and said, “I am strong.”

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I will not be able to shield my children from all the wrongs of others. I can only help them grow and nurture their strength. So that when the time comes for them to use it they will know exactly how and what to do.

They will not allow others to define their reality instead they will remember that they are strong.

They have the ability to stand up for themselves.

They have the ability to make things right when things go wrong.

That is the most powerful value I could ever give to my children.

How have you talked with your children about the value of strength? What have you taught them?

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Heather lives in Florida with her husband, two girls and two pups. She is a lover of most things in life, too many to name here without scaring you, but a few include working out, learning new recipes, Pinterest, organizing (yes, it’s true!), home decor and learning to lead a more minimal and purposeful life.

She started Just Becoming Me as a venture to better understand herself and what will lead her towards a more fulfilling life. Her motto is: “We only have one life, and I want to learn to live mine in a way that gets me excited to jump out of bed.”

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Enjoy your time at home!