Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Jaimi}

When a wife gets asked by her husband, "How are you doing?" the tendency is to respond with a short, "I'm fine." I decided to be honest. This is my honest answer in reponse to my husband asking how I was doing while parenting alone amidst 4 kids including twin toddlers. It needed to be said.

My husband just wanted to know how I was doing. He probably genuinely knew that juggling four kids as a stay-at-home mom all day every day-alone-for a month was going to be hard. I like to believe I can handle any challenge, but I know I am human. I get overwhelmed, pressed to my limit as a mom. I have moments when sleep deprivation combined with tantrums and noise make me feel like my head is actually going to explode. These moments are when I wish I had a camera set up to record the actual level of noise or length of tantrums to show others the real level of work required as a stay-at-home mom.

Do you ever get asked how you are doing in the midst of caring for kids and house and the rest of the to do list? I think my husband asks more often when he is away for work than when he is actually home, but he asks. That is something. Often I just say, “I’m fine.” Not this day.

During one of his trips away, I had the delight of witnessing the rampage that is twin toddlers entering the “terrible twos”. (Apparently some folks think we should not refer to it as “terrible”. I say, come on over to my house!) I love these two little beings. Truly, they are cute and make me laugh more than they make me cry, but certain stages of child development are just hard.

Juggling 4 kids alone as a stay-at-home mom was something I figured would be tricky-to say the least. No matter how many kids I have had in the past, whenever my husband is gone it affects our days-no question. Dads are important and the other half of a stay-at-home mom is even more so since he is the sole breadwinner in many cases and often is a stay-at-home moms only adult conversation at the end of the day.

Recently, my husband and I were emailing back and forth when he was out of town about the latest terrible two twins’ destruction. Long story short, I called a repair guy who fixed the problem and we spent a couple of months with all of the dining room chairs in the garage unless it was meal time so the “problem” would not be recreated.

After the issues were fixed my husband checked in via email about the situation. He asked how I was doing and how the repair went. I told him the repair was complete and everyone was well. I could not put into words at that moment how much stress I had been feeling over the course of his absence. He replied to my benign response with one sentence: “How are YOU doing?” (He did capitalize ‘YOU’.)

I had a day that pushed me to my limit a few times when I received the email asking me how I was doing. This time, I felt overcome with the need to lay it all on him. It was important to be sure he really knew what it was like as a stay-at-home mom-that I was not completely sure I was strong enough to make it through, but stubborn enough to keep trying.

When my husband asked me, “How are you doing?” this is what I told him-

How am I doing? Ha! Loaded question there, but I appreciate you asking. I am doing 1000 things at once. We have had so much spilled and messes made-crackers, cereal, milk, water. Every day a new mess, and often more like 3 spills per day. Of course the first spill happens right after we wake up-before I have even had coffee.

The twins are beyond active. As soon as I clean a mess they make another right where I needed to stand to cook dinner.

I feel like I am going to run out of energy or will or strength, but I don’t. I can only credit God for the fact that I am still strong enough for another day.

In reality it is just moments of challenge, but the day is just so full from top to bottom-and of course I am up at night, so there is no break.

I think I am doing well all things considered-haven’t even had a moment to have a glass of wine, although I did buy some at Costco today just in case. 😉

I get a lot done each day and still feel like I am not accomplishing anything.

Long answer, but it is a big job taking care of four kids alone.

I wish I had more support nearby.

Love you, miss you, see you soon.



I was content knowing I shared my heart and all that was swirling around in my head. Husbands need to know that what goes on at home every day is challenging at times-and we stay-at-home moms do not take this work lightly. This is people-building, next generation-creating work. It weighs on us, it calls us, and it needs our focus just like any job that sends home a paycheck every two weeks.

We do it for free-or at least only for kisses, hugs, maybe a “thanks mom” in a graduation speech. Those things are not required. No reward is needed, because this is work where value can’t be measured in dollars and cents. It is priceless.

The work of a stay-at-home mom is accomplished every day-even with mess or challenge or no support at all in the messy moments.

How am I doing?

I am getting it done.


When your husband asks you how YOU are doing, do you answer honestly or give the short, “I’m fine,” response?

Mom Motivation Mondays series: This week, an honest answer when your husband asks, "How are you doing?" It's time to tell him the truth!


Mom Motivation Mondays happens every week here on the blog. For all of the Mom Motivation Mondays posts, click the image below.

A weekly series of motivation for moms brought to you by stay at home mom bloggers at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide.


For another funny, but enlightening conversation about how important moms are, read my post “Mom, When are You Going to Get a Job?