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Confessions and Clarifications of A Stay-at-Home Mom

March 6, 2012 by Jaimi Erickson 6 Comments

Ready to have the ENERGY to be the best mom you can be? Get started! Thanks for stopping by!

Welcome back! Did you already get started here?

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Let's clarify a few things about life as a stay-at-home mom. We SAHMs do not think we are perfect.

I don’t write this blog because I think my life is perfect, or I am the  perfect wife, or perfect mother.  I write because despite all of my imperfections, I am happy, and will make every effort
to be happy every day.

I don’t always like  doing what I do each day:

Who wants to drag a screaming, kicking almost-4-year old out of Library story time?

Who wants to be awake for 2-4 hours almost every night thanks to a still-waking-up-to-nurse 11 month old? 

Those are not two facts I would put on a banner advertising the benefits of being a stay-at-home-mom!

(Yes, dear, it’s  fabulous! You get to never rest, give all you have to everyone else, and still try to look good doing it all!)

There are many women who try hard to be that iconic 1950s mom from the vintage ads: Perfectly coiffed, dressed to the nines, and a smiling baby in her arms.

Some days I get there.

Some days I have a gourmet dinner ready to be plated the second my husband walks in the door (lucky him), and the children listen to their Bible songs contentedly while I scrub the house to ‘perfectly clean’ with a smile on my face.

Real life as stay-at-home mom means it all lasts five minutes before there is more poop to clean and screaming and crying to hear.

We need to have high expectations for ourselves, but not so high that we never achieve them. 

Children will learn even if you never implement one Pinterest-perfect kids activity. Your husband will love you even if you do not make gourmet meals every night. Real life as a stay-at-home mom means there is not time for everything.
It is time that we need to give to people, not things, starting at home. If we raise children who seek perfection, they will grow to be very unsatisfied and frustrated adults.

 

Stay-at-home moms are not perfect. (That’s why we have God).  Our children are not perfect. (Ok, maybe your children are, but mine are definitely not, yet I will keep trying to encourage them to be better.)

 

On-line posting on Facebook and other arenas have given us an in-your-face view of what others want us to know about their lives.  This leads us to compare what we are up to with what they are doing.  This comparison never bodes well for any of us. Just know that we can each try our best every day.

 

That’s the beauty of being a SAHM in a sense:  You get to be there every day, so one lesson can carry over to tomorrow.

 

My deliberate attempts to help my son realize the consequences of his actions can be observed and carried out day to day without lapse since I am the one observing, parenting and disciplining.  It’s not pretty right now, but in five minutes it will feel perfect and I will have my little pat on the back…for a moment.

 

Don’t let the idea of perfection suffocate you.

 

I can only hope that this blog will resonate with not only the moms who love to stay home (I said, ‘love,’ not ‘like all the time’), but also, to encourage those moms who want to give up being a SAHM. I hope you will stick with it. Take a long-term view. Those moms who can’t take it anymore can find the reason and purpose to stay home, here.

 

Even Hilary Rodham Clinton in her book It Takes a Village to Raise a Child stated that we can only hope that each child has a parent who can stay home. It is not possible on every household income, but many of us know that even when the budget is tight, you can make being a stay-at-home mom work. Our families really do benefit when we make this choice.

 

I hope that this blog can motivate you to move past the rough moments or days, and soak up the good ones.  Being a stay-at-home mom is not a job we do for immediate gratification, but you can do it. I can too.

 

Keep your eye on the reason you do this every day.  I am in it with you.
Let's clarify a few things about life as a stay-at-home mom. We SAHMs do not think we are perfect.

For more mom motivation, check out the weekly Mom Motivation Mondays series.A weekly series of motivation for moms brought to you by stay at home mom bloggers at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide.

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Enjoy your time at home!

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Filed Under: motherhood, motivation Tagged With: at home mom, mom guilt, mom life, perfect mom, Pinterest Perfect, stay at home mom

Comments

  1. Becky says

    March 11, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Your post REALLY spoke to me. Just having my 4th baby (10 days ago); I began right away putting pressure on myself to keep up with everyone else. But, being at home right now (not blogging, not even homeschooling); just being is what's most important in this life-stage. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

    Reply
    • Jaimi says

      March 13, 2012 at 7:16 pm

      First off, congratulations on the baby! Wow! You are a champ. I definitely understand the tendency to compare what I do with my children, or what I cook for dinner, or how often I get out of the house in a week, with my friends, and other moms. The reality is, though, that no one really cares how much we get done in a day except ourselves, God and our household. As long as we are prioritizing them first, then we are successful. YOU are so right that just soaking in our time with our children is enough when they are young. I pray for you to get rest!

      Reply

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All troubles in life can be solved with more Jesus All troubles in life can be solved with more Jesus. 

He is risen! ☀️ 

Happy Easter / Resurrection Sunday from the Erickson clan. 💕 

I pray each of you seek the ultimate truth and know God is working through you. You are significant, loved and appreciated. 🤗 

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I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having m I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having my babies. I have learned so much from all my children but having my girls is a blessing I never knew I needed. 

Want to eliminate mean girls? Raise daughters to do the opposite.

Want to teach women to better communicate with each other? Raise daughters to listen and articulate.

They are my own little girl group and I am grateful for it. They love me on my bad days and give me compliments I do not even deserve. 

I do love being the mom of girls (and boys). They both teach me so much. 

What are the top lessons you wish girls would learn before becoming adults? 

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Will you be spending time with family for Easter? Will you be spending time with family for Easter? 

My husband’s parents have arrived - adding one more big dog to our house and lots of crafts and fun. We have not seen them since June. Everyone is excited to spend time together.

Both of my big kids have birthdays and we will all get to spend time at the beach this month. Our school work will morph into field trips so we soak up every day we can being present with family. 

I am looking forward to making memories, soaking in time together and celebrating two milestone birthdays - one happening tomorrow. 💛 

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🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all t 🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all the kids actually goes well!!! 🌟 

Ice cream after helped of course. 😂

All prepped for my in-laws coming to visit us after not seeing them since our move last summer. Looking forward to some fun events ahead that will make my kids think they are on spring break but they will technically be field trip days. Check, check. 

Are you guys on spring break this week? What do you have planned?

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Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, fill your mind with encouragement and just keep moving forward. 

Recovery days are not just for working out. They are for the mental state we walk around with too. Yesterday felt heavy. My God is a power lifter and takes the burden away. 

Today will be better.

Today we will rest and refocus.

Hooray for comfy jeans, motivational graphics and the Word to focus on through it all. 

(Faith fashion: @choseninchrist use code Jaimi to save.)

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🌟That Face!!🌟 That little boy is soon to t 🌟That Face!!🌟 

That little boy is soon to turn 13, guys! I mean in a few weeks. 😅

This is a throwback but brings back so many fun memories. 

—————————————

I love creating activities and crafts on the fly. Always have even before my kids were here.

I noticed that my son did not have a lot of little toy people to play with while he was pretending one day. We have a few cylinder blocks in a set. We never used them when we built. I thought we could turn them into little DIY toy people. 

They were so cute and easy to make. It was a preschool art project for him. We made them together.

If you don’t have wooden cylindrical blocks at home, you can use pieces of wood dowel or even a few square blocks glued together. You can even make DIY toy people out of toilet paper tubes. 

🌟Full details through Blog link in bio 🌟

——————————————

I am so excited and yet in complete shock by how fast these little lives grow. I have never missed moments and I am so so grateful especially as we approach the teen years in my house. 💛 Soak up even the hard days of being a mom. TOTALLY worth it. 

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👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out the 👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out there. I try to ignore a lot of them. 😂 

My kids stay up later than most recommend, but so did I when I was a kid. 

She loves to read. She loves to write. Abby writes plays, journal entries, songs and on a bad day she will write her feelings about it all, in depth, no holds barred. 

This night she was trying to finish up a play - setting, character details, order of lines - for a play she made for her younger sister. 

I am so thankful that we can count her love of writing in her free time as school work. I am so thankful that how we do school allows this passion and talent to thrive. She has stacks of drawings, plays and writing blurbs. They are all precious to her.

There are days I question whether this choice or that choice is right or “approved,” but it does not matter when I see my children dive deep into the things they love. 

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Give me my people any day. Family time this Sund Give me my people any day. 

Family time this Sunday was a 5k fundraiser race. We helped raise 💵 for the spouses’ club scholarship fund. Scholarships will be awarded for post secondary education to military kids and spouses. 

If you can choose any action in life, choose to help others. Side bonus when it involves fun family time together.

Best day yet. 💛💛💛

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💛 Friday Introductions💛 It has been a while 💛 Friday Introductions💛

It has been a while since I did a good run-down here to give ya the cliffs notes (are those still a thing) version of me. 👋 

💛 Detroit-born a few blocks from where Eminem lived. The city is still my hometown despite moving away as a kid.

💛 I am a big believer in traditional values, but with a modern woman twist. My husband drives his career and I drive this household.

💛 We live in eastern NC 30 mins from the beach. I want to stay here forever, truly, but military life will come to an end some day...still don’t know specifically when that will be.

💛Born and raised to be a planner, Type A personality, having 4 kids beat that out of me 🤣 and I am very “day at a time” now. 

💛I was a teacher turned stay at home mom turned blogger turned entrepreneur that had to set it all on the back burner a bit to focus on homeschooling my kids. I can only have so much on my plate and complete it successfully. (When we listen, God guides and is loud and clear with His direction. 💛)

💛I believe I can be humble and confident; I can be fully present with my kids and make space to rest and rejuvenate; I believe the biggest successes I will achieve in life will not have a paycheck as its valuation. 

💛I believe that true peace, value and love all come from Jesus. 

You will find me sharing the ups AND the downs of motherhood, wife life, homeschooling and being a Christian woman with the modern day pull to fight what that can mean. (There is def a force trying to convince us to push those values aside, my friends.)

👌What is the cliffs notes version of you? What do you want people to know/realize most of all?

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🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟 Often our c 🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟

Often our children learn hard lessons when they have to move to a new state or school. 

My kids have become all too familiar with this through military life. Every three years they have to make new friends.

It is not always simple.

As a child, my family moved a lot. We were not military, but in junior high I moved to a new state and had to make all new friends.

This was a challenging and even to some extent a traumatic time of life.

Being the new kid, is a humbling experience. Suddenly you are hoping that your peers will want to get to know you and like you. It creates some self-consciousness.

Reading is such a beneficial way to teach children about life lessons. It teaches much more than that. It teaches self esteem through the cuddle time. It teaches language skills, and it teaches children to use their minds to be creative.

As they have grown and navigated more friendships, books are a resource for us to discuss tough challenges. I have found a great series of books that present friendship challenges and help children learn to navigate them.

It just so happens that the author is my neighbor too! How cool is that?! Moms are amazing.

These books will be treasured by your family for their quality values. The @stingrayjelly series teach children how to make friends and navigate friendships to love others well and support them through shared similarities and recognized differences.

Author, Lauren Giannella is a military wife and my neighbor! Anna Perdue is the illustrator and also a military child. 

Read my blog post for details on each book and links to purchase through @barnesandnoble 

We love our military community and all they do to give back.

What are your favorite children’s books that teach children how to make friends or help them maneuver through tough life challenges?

#books #booksforkids #militaryspouse #militaryspouses #militarywife #militarylife #militarykids #teachingkids #goodbooks #readtokids #readingtime #homeschoolreading #homeschoolmoms #eastnc #usmclife #marinecorpsfamily #motherhoodsocial
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