Confessions and Clarifications of A Stay-at-Home Mom

I don’t write this blog because I think my life is perfect, or I am the perfect wife, or perfect mother. I write because despite all of my imperfections, I am happy, and will make every effort
to be happy every day.

I don’t always like doing what I do each day:

Who wants to drag a screaming, kicking almost-4-year old out of Library story time?

Who wants to be awake for 2-4 hours almost every night thanks to a still-waking-up-to-nurse 11 month old?

Those are not two facts I would put on a banner advertising the benefits of being a stay-at-home-mom!

(Yes, dear, it’s fabulous! You get to never rest, give all you have to everyone else, and still try to look good doing it all!)

There are many women who try hard to be that iconic 1950s mom from the vintage ads: Perfectly coiffed, dressed to the nines, and a smiling baby in her arms.

Some days I get there.

Some days I have a gourmet dinner ready to be plated the second my husband walks in the door (lucky him), and the children listen to their Bible songs contentedly while I scrub the house to ‘perfectly clean’ with a smile on my face.

Real life as stay-at-home mom means it all lasts five minutes before there is more poop to clean and screaming and crying to hear.

We need to have high expectations for ourselves, but not so high that we never achieve them.

Children will learn even if you never implement one Pinterest-perfect kids activity. Your husband will love you even if you do not make gourmet meals every night. Real life as a stay-at-home mom means there is not time for everything.

It is time that we need to give to people, not things, starting at home. If we raise children who seek perfection, they will grow to be very unsatisfied and frustrated adults.

Stay-at-home moms are not perfect. (That’s why we have God). Our children are not perfect. (Ok, maybe your children are, but mine are definitely not, yet I will keep trying to encourage them to be better.)

On-line posting on Facebook and other arenas have given us an in-your-face view of what others want us to know about their lives. This leads us to compare what we are up to with what they are doing. This comparison never bodes well for any of us. Just know that we can each try our best every day.

That’s the beauty of being a SAHM in a sense: You get to be there every day, so one lesson can carry over to tomorrow.

My deliberate attempts to help my son realize the consequences of his actions can be observed and carried out day to day without lapse since I am the one observing, parenting and disciplining. It’s not pretty right now, but in five minutes it will feel perfect and I will have my little pat on the back…for a moment.

Don’t let the idea of perfection suffocate you.

I can only hope that this blog will resonate with not only the moms who love to stay home (I said, ‘love,’ not ‘like all the time’), but also, to encourage those moms who want to give up being a SAHM. I hope you will stick with it. Take a long-term view. Those moms who can’t take it anymore can find the reason and purpose to stay home, here.

Even Hilary Rodham Clinton in her book It Takes a Village to Raise a Child stated that we can only hope that each child has a parent who can stay home. It is not possible on every household income, but many of us know that even when the budget is tight, you can make being a stay-at-home mom work. Our families really do benefit when we make this choice.

I hope that this blog can motivate you to move past the rough moments or days, and soak up the good ones. Being a stay-at-home mom is not a job we do for immediate gratification, but you can do it. I can too.

Keep your eye on the reason you do this every day. I am in it with you.

Let's clarify a few things about life as a stay-at-home mom. We SAHMs do not think we are perfect.

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Enjoy your time at home!

Comments

Becky says

March 11, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Your post REALLY spoke to me. Just having my 4th baby (10 days ago); I began right away putting pressure on myself to keep up with everyone else. But, being at home right now (not blogging, not even homeschooling); just being is what's most important in this life-stage. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

- Jaimi says
  
  March 13, 2012 at 7:16 pm
  
  First off, congratulations on the baby! Wow! You are a champ. I definitely understand the tendency to compare what I do with my children, or what I cook for dinner, or how often I get out of the house in a week, with my friends, and other moms. The reality is, though, that no one really cares how much we get done in a day except ourselves, God and our household. As long as we are prioritizing them first, then we are successful. YOU are so right that just soaking in our time with our children is enough when they are young. I pray for you to get rest!

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