{Guest Post by Regina Due}

As parents, having a second baby is an exciting time where the dynamic of the family shifts. There may be more chaos and less time to think but we expect all of the sacrifices to be worthwhile when we see our children form a strong bond.

Sometimes however, this bond does not come as naturally as we wish it to come, because sibling rivalry takes the fun out of having a big family. Despite how discouraging and tiring this situation can be, there are a number of ways you can effectively handle sibling rivalry.

Tips to Handle Sibling Rivalry

Don’t make comparisons

No Matter how young your kids are, if you compare one with the other you will create frustration and lead to more rivalry.

Don’t dismiss feelings

Despite how annoying some situations can get for you, you still cannot dismiss the feelings of your children because that is one way of understanding where this rivalry is stemming from.

Try to let them settle their issues

There will be times when you will have to mediate, but when it’s possible, let them learn how to compromise and deal with each other on their own.

Make friends before birth

Create an exciting experience for your child with the birth of the second baby by giving them presents from the baby and reading them books that teach them about the joys of having a sibling.

Make the firstborn feel important

Despite your newborn needing a lot of attention, making time for your firstborn and making him or her feel special is a way of discouraging resentment. Choosing to breastfeed in tandem or taking your firstborn out without the baby may help.

Tell them exactly how you expect them to behave

Setting ground rules and telling the siblings how you expect them to behave towards each other is a way of establishing a good basis of how they deal with one another.

Teach them team spirit

Showing your children by example how family members should act towards each other is an effective way of dealing with this issue. Teach them about team spirit and make it a point to show them that a family has to stick together.

Listen to both sides

Don’t assume who is the one to blame, take the time to listen to both sides.

Never make on child be responsible for the other

Avoid creating a dynamic where one child can let loose while the other has to be strict by not making one responsible for the other.

Allow them not to share special items

Teaching children to share is a good skill but there are some things that are just theirs and they should be allowed to keep them to themselves.

Don’t assume they can do what the other does

This will only make them think that what their sibling does is better than what they do.

Help them understand their emotions

Teaching them how to develop emotional intelligence will lead them to better understand why they are being unkind to their sibling.

Let them cool off

When there is physical aggression, separating the siblings and allowing them to cool off before confronting each other will help to avoid further arguments between the two.

Help them see that siblings are forever

Teach them that the bond they have is one they will have for the rest of their life. Creating a friendship is far better than the rivalry at hand.