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Teaching Kids to Help at Home

October 8, 2017 by Jaimi Erickson 2 Comments

Ready to have the ENERGY to be the best mom you can be? Get started! Thanks for stopping by!

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Teaching kids to help at home is a challenge at times. How can you stop the whining and stop bribing the kids to help? Tips from a certified parenting coach will guide you.

In the past, we had trouble getting our kids to do their chores. I have seen plenty of attitude. I even used screen time to bribe my children. Things started to change when I got sick and tired of doing everything for them.

When they couldn’t find a belonging, they thought it was my responsibility to find it. I used to nag, but now I Coach them how to be organized.

I was following a Facebook thread about kids not knowing where their shoes are. They blamed it on ADHD. This may be the cause, but let’s be real, most kids struggle with this until they learn to be organized.

All kids need to learn to take ownership of their stuff. This is easier said than done. I know, my son who has a tough time staying focused, will often leave the house without his shoes.

Then, I started another approach.

Children need to help around the house with a good attitude. They will never learn to take responsibility for their life if they expect everyone else to do things for them.

My daughter wants a kitten. For that to happen she needs to help take care of the pets that we already have. At age seven she cleans up the dog’s poop, feeds and waters it every day.

She dislikes cleaning up the poop, and I remind her that if we get a cat she will have to clean up after it too. She must really want a kitten because faithfully everyday she takes care of her beloved pet.

I told my son that if he wanted to keep our rabbit in his room that he would have to care for it. If he didn’t the rabbit would have to go. Because he loves his rabbit so, at age nine he cleans its cage as needed.

I see kids in families today get angry when asked to do one simple thing like set the table, clean the dishes, or sweep the floor. It’s even more troubling when parents let their kids be lazy.

It’s a disservice to our kids to just let them sit in front of the screen and not be part of the family by participating in chores, cooking, and caring for the needs of one another.

Now my kids work hard, with kindness, and they desire to be team players. Not only do they do what is expected, they do a little extra.

I’m a Certified Parent Coach, and I was discussing with a mom an issue she was having with her child. Mom was packing boxes for a big move. Her son who was old enough to help just sat in front of the screen letting mom do all the work by herself.

When she asked him for help to carry some heavy boxes he ignored her.

I tried to be kind, professional, and honest without offending. Thankfully my words didn’t offend. She was ready for change.

I told her that her son, who is only a few years away from being an adolescent, may grow up to be selfish and not show honor, if he doesn’t have a change of heart.

Honor starts in the home. We honor one another by having a heart of servanthood.

This mom on her own decided to get rid of all the screens in the house and start living life with her son differently. She is starting to notice that he is helping and caring. After mom had a heart to heart talk with her son about his attitude and her need to have support, he took to heart what she said. He decided to help mom finish packing, move heavy boxes, and help unpack. They ended up having a fun time together!

Two of the biggest complaints I hear parents have is that their child is not internally motivated to do the right things, and parents feel they always must remind their son or daughter to do their chores, obey the rules, show kindness to their siblings, or bribe them to do their school work.

The real question I think we should be asking is this: How do I teach my children to be responsible without me having to bribe or nag them.

Teaching Kids to Help at Home:

1. Stop bribing them.

It feeds selfishness. The attitude can develop that: I will do something for you if you do something for me. I don’t think that is relational at all.

2. Expect them to respond to your requests with a good attitude.

Kid’s should be corrected when they back talk, throw an attitude, or refuse to help when asked. Parents need to request that their children respond kindly when asked to do something. Children with the help of their parents must explore the issues that they are feeling in their heart.

For us to live in a world where people care about one another, we must make sure we are training our children to care and we show this by being kind to our family members.

A weekly series of motivation for moms brought to you by stay at home mom bloggers at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide.

As a Certified Parent Coach, it’s my desire to help parents coach their children. I’m certified through the National Center for Biblical Parenting by Dr. Scott Turansky, and we take parents through an eight-week training program that changes hearts.

Please feel free to contact me If you want to know more about this program and please share what your parenting concerns are. You can email me at lisadesign@comcast.net.

Please check out my post about Coaching for Parents and our eight-week training program.

Teaching kids to help at home is a challenge at times. How can you stop the whining and stop bribing the kids to help? Tips from a certified parenting coach will guide you.


Wanted: Mom Friends! Lisa Brown from COmmunity Moms blog shares how she felt when she became a new mom and did not have a support system in place. This is great advice for moms whether new or experienced!Lisa is an aspiring writer with a mother’s passion for Homeschool Education. She has an 8 yr. old son, a 7 yr. old daughter, and has been married to her husband for 10+ yrs. Prior to marriage, she worked over 20 yrs. enriching the lives of hundreds of children and families. Lisa has a Bachelors in Social Work and Early Childhood Education. You can read more of Lisa’s posts on her blog The Family Roadmap.


 

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Enjoy your time at home!

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Filed Under: motherhood, motivation, parenting Tagged With: MMM contributors, parenthood, respect, responsibility, values

Comments

  1. Robert Martin says

    July 23, 2018 at 12:15 am

    Teaching kids on household chores is a big thing not only to parents but to their well being as well. They will not depend on their housemaid and help their parents with the chores at home.

    Reply
    • Jaimi Erickson says

      August 3, 2018 at 8:20 pm

      I agree. It leads to self-discipline and independence.

      Reply

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They were posing nicely, but I said make some funn They were posing nicely, but I said make some funny faces. They did. 🤣🤣

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All troubles in life can be solved with more Jesus All troubles in life can be solved with more Jesus. 

He is risen! ☀️ 

Happy Easter / Resurrection Sunday from the Erickson clan. 💕 

I pray each of you seek the ultimate truth and know God is working through you. You are significant, loved and appreciated. 🤗 

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I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having m I pictured myself as a mom of boys before having my babies. I have learned so much from all my children but having my girls is a blessing I never knew I needed. 

Want to eliminate mean girls? Raise daughters to do the opposite.

Want to teach women to better communicate with each other? Raise daughters to listen and articulate.

They are my own little girl group and I am grateful for it. They love me on my bad days and give me compliments I do not even deserve. 

I do love being the mom of girls (and boys). They both teach me so much. 

What are the top lessons you wish girls would learn before becoming adults? 

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Will you be spending time with family for Easter? Will you be spending time with family for Easter? 

My husband’s parents have arrived - adding one more big dog to our house and lots of crafts and fun. We have not seen them since June. Everyone is excited to spend time together.

Both of my big kids have birthdays and we will all get to spend time at the beach this month. Our school work will morph into field trips so we soak up every day we can being present with family. 

I am looking forward to making memories, soaking in time together and celebrating two milestone birthdays - one happening tomorrow. 💛 

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“Never underestimate the healing of a quiet mome “Never underestimate the healing of a quiet moment in the garden.” 
-Unknown

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🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all t 🌟The faces we make when a Costco run with all the kids actually goes well!!! 🌟 

Ice cream after helped of course. 😂

All prepped for my in-laws coming to visit us after not seeing them since our move last summer. Looking forward to some fun events ahead that will make my kids think they are on spring break but they will technically be field trip days. Check, check. 

Are you guys on spring break this week? What do you have planned?

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Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, Some days you put on the 10 year old comfy jeans, fill your mind with encouragement and just keep moving forward. 

Recovery days are not just for working out. They are for the mental state we walk around with too. Yesterday felt heavy. My God is a power lifter and takes the burden away. 

Today will be better.

Today we will rest and refocus.

Hooray for comfy jeans, motivational graphics and the Word to focus on through it all. 

(Faith fashion: @choseninchrist use code Jaimi to save.)

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🌟That Face!!🌟 That little boy is soon to t 🌟That Face!!🌟 

That little boy is soon to turn 13, guys! I mean in a few weeks. 😅

This is a throwback but brings back so many fun memories. 

—————————————

I love creating activities and crafts on the fly. Always have even before my kids were here.

I noticed that my son did not have a lot of little toy people to play with while he was pretending one day. We have a few cylinder blocks in a set. We never used them when we built. I thought we could turn them into little DIY toy people. 

They were so cute and easy to make. It was a preschool art project for him. We made them together.

If you don’t have wooden cylindrical blocks at home, you can use pieces of wood dowel or even a few square blocks glued together. You can even make DIY toy people out of toilet paper tubes. 

🌟Full details through Blog link in bio 🌟

——————————————

I am so excited and yet in complete shock by how fast these little lives grow. I have never missed moments and I am so so grateful especially as we approach the teen years in my house. 💛 Soak up even the hard days of being a mom. TOTALLY worth it. 

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👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out the 👌 There are a lot of parenting opinions out there. I try to ignore a lot of them. 😂 

My kids stay up later than most recommend, but so did I when I was a kid. 

She loves to read. She loves to write. Abby writes plays, journal entries, songs and on a bad day she will write her feelings about it all, in depth, no holds barred. 

This night she was trying to finish up a play - setting, character details, order of lines - for a play she made for her younger sister. 

I am so thankful that we can count her love of writing in her free time as school work. I am so thankful that how we do school allows this passion and talent to thrive. She has stacks of drawings, plays and writing blurbs. They are all precious to her.

There are days I question whether this choice or that choice is right or “approved,” but it does not matter when I see my children dive deep into the things they love. 

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Give me my people any day. Family time this Sund Give me my people any day. 

Family time this Sunday was a 5k fundraiser race. We helped raise 💵 for the spouses’ club scholarship fund. Scholarships will be awarded for post secondary education to military kids and spouses. 

If you can choose any action in life, choose to help others. Side bonus when it involves fun family time together.

Best day yet. 💛💛💛

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💛 Friday Introductions💛 It has been a while 💛 Friday Introductions💛

It has been a while since I did a good run-down here to give ya the cliffs notes (are those still a thing) version of me. 👋 

💛 Detroit-born a few blocks from where Eminem lived. The city is still my hometown despite moving away as a kid.

💛 I am a big believer in traditional values, but with a modern woman twist. My husband drives his career and I drive this household.

💛 We live in eastern NC 30 mins from the beach. I want to stay here forever, truly, but military life will come to an end some day...still don’t know specifically when that will be.

💛Born and raised to be a planner, Type A personality, having 4 kids beat that out of me 🤣 and I am very “day at a time” now. 

💛I was a teacher turned stay at home mom turned blogger turned entrepreneur that had to set it all on the back burner a bit to focus on homeschooling my kids. I can only have so much on my plate and complete it successfully. (When we listen, God guides and is loud and clear with His direction. 💛)

💛I believe I can be humble and confident; I can be fully present with my kids and make space to rest and rejuvenate; I believe the biggest successes I will achieve in life will not have a paycheck as its valuation. 

💛I believe that true peace, value and love all come from Jesus. 

You will find me sharing the ups AND the downs of motherhood, wife life, homeschooling and being a Christian woman with the modern day pull to fight what that can mean. (There is def a force trying to convince us to push those values aside, my friends.)

👌What is the cliffs notes version of you? What do you want people to know/realize most of all?

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🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟 Often our c 🌟Teaching Kids to Make Friends🌟

Often our children learn hard lessons when they have to move to a new state or school. 

My kids have become all too familiar with this through military life. Every three years they have to make new friends.

It is not always simple.

As a child, my family moved a lot. We were not military, but in junior high I moved to a new state and had to make all new friends.

This was a challenging and even to some extent a traumatic time of life.

Being the new kid, is a humbling experience. Suddenly you are hoping that your peers will want to get to know you and like you. It creates some self-consciousness.

Reading is such a beneficial way to teach children about life lessons. It teaches much more than that. It teaches self esteem through the cuddle time. It teaches language skills, and it teaches children to use their minds to be creative.

As they have grown and navigated more friendships, books are a resource for us to discuss tough challenges. I have found a great series of books that present friendship challenges and help children learn to navigate them.

It just so happens that the author is my neighbor too! How cool is that?! Moms are amazing.

These books will be treasured by your family for their quality values. The @stingrayjelly series teach children how to make friends and navigate friendships to love others well and support them through shared similarities and recognized differences.

Author, Lauren Giannella is a military wife and my neighbor! Anna Perdue is the illustrator and also a military child. 

Read my blog post for details on each book and links to purchase through @barnesandnoble 

We love our military community and all they do to give back.

What are your favorite children’s books that teach children how to make friends or help them maneuver through tough life challenges?

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