{Post by Heather}

Do you get stressed if your house is a mess? It's time for a reality check so you can enjoy more and stress less. No one is a perfect homemaker.

There was a day before I had children where my house was “just” a house. It was a place for my furniture, my clothes and shoes.

A place for me to crash after working all day.

A place to eat food, watch tv or hang out with friends.

I didn’t mind that the walls weren’t painted or even decorated. I cleaned when it seemed too dirty. I picked up when I had to, but nothing more than that. It wasn’t until after I had a family and kids that being a homemaker meant something more significant to me.

After I had my first daughter I chose to stay home with her. My husband was constantly working or deployed, and I found myself in the house with a lot of time on my hands. It was then that I began to notice that things around the house were bothering me.

I couldn’t stand that my walls weren’t painted.

If things were left lying around it drove me crazy.

I could see dirt and dog hair everywhere!

The funny thing is that all of this was the same as before, the only difference was my perspective and attitude about it. And once I saw it I couldn’t unsee it.

My husband even said, “You never used to care about the house like this before.”

My reply, “I was never in the house by myself all day with an infant before either.”

And wasn’t that the truth?

I felt stuck in the house and found myself actually caring about what it looked like and how clean it was. And more than that it now bothered me.

So I started investing time in decorating and cleaning and picking up. And as I continued to stay home, I started to become obsessed with the house looking a certain way. I wanted everything to be clean and picked up 100% of the time, which you can imagine with two small children would be enough to drive anyone crazy.

As time went on throughout the years having things out of place or dirty started to give me anxiety.

It would put me on edge. Especially since I was the one adult who was primarily at home for long periods of time. I was now used to the house looking a certain way.

I was used to picking up behind the children and everything staying clean. It was maddening when my husband would come home and throw his clothes on the floor or move things out of place. It caused a lot of fights and discontent for me.

Now I know not all homemakers feel like this, but I also know that a lot of women I’ve talked to feel that they have to keep up this act of being a “perfect” homemaker. There’s a lot of self-imposed pressure.

When I stayed home I felt that since I didn’t work outside the house, the house and all that came with it was my work. And I took that work seriously. It was the way I contributed to my family. My husband provided financially, and I took care of everything else.

It was only recently that I realized that I was struggling with being a perfect homemaker. I was wanting a perfect house where everything looked liked the cover of Better Homes and Gardens. And the thing is that not only is that not real life, it’s the opposite of the life I want to live. I don’t want to be miserable because everything isn’t “just so”.

My happiness shouldn’t be dictated by how perfect my house looks.

Over time I’ve realized that being a good enough homemaker is okay. I’ve come to terms with the fact that even though I’m responsible for the house it doesn’t have to be perfect.

I shouldn’t live my life in a constant state of stress because I feel like everything has to be perfect. Letting go of this notion of perfection in terms of my household has helped me to be happier in the long run. It’s also helped to show my kids that although having a clean house is important to me but it’s also not everything.

I still struggle from time to time and have to put myself in check a lot when I feel myself getting anxious about the state of the house. But since I also can recognize myself getting to that point I’m able to see that the work I put in has value no matter how imperfect it is.

And for now that’s good enough for me.

Do you struggle with trying to be a perfect homemaker? Have you changed your mindset?

Homemaking tips Tuesdays where you find quick tips for keeping a clean and organized home.

lives in Florida with her husband, two girls and two pups. She is a lover of most things in life, too many to name here without scaring you, but a few include working out, learning new recipes, Pinterest, organizing (yes, it’s true!), home decor and learning to lead a more minimal and purposeful life.

She started Just Becoming Me as a venture to better understand herself and what will lead her towards a more fulfilling life. Her motto is: “We only have one life, and I want to learn to live mine in a way that gets me excited to jump out of bed.”

Do you get stressed if your house is a mess? It's time for a reality check so you can enjoy more and stress less. No one is a perfect homemaker.