Seeking Balance

Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Lisa}

“Now that I have kids it takes longer to get things done. It irritates me when I don’t have everything checked off of my to-do- list at the end of the day. Worst of all, I get annoyed with my kids when they demand my attention while I’m working. How do stay at home moms do this?”

A sweet Mom friend sent me this email. My friend Mrs. C has a six, four, and two year old. Her husband works sixty hours a week and travels out of town at least once a month for eight days.

She lives in the country with a few neighbors who work all day. Her family lives out of state. Before kids she worked in marketing and was surrounded by others all the time.

I used to feel like my friend. Sometimes I still snap at my kids when they want my full attention. I don’t like myself when I get angry and the last thing I want to do is to make them feel like they are a bother.

There is nothing on my to-do-list that is more important than my kids.

Messes are part of a Mom’s life: Legos under the couch, laundry piled high, dishes to wash, dog puddles under the bed, basement with toys scattered everywhere, weeds to pull, and meals to cook.

There are so many unknowns that come up and interrupt us from getting our list done by the end of the day. Like a sick child, sleepless night, headache, dog gets sick, toilet overflows, and the last portion of cereal spills on the dirty floor. On and on the to-do-list goes.

Seeking Balance as a Mom

I used to let this kind of thing make me grumpy. Until I accepted the fact that all I can do is make a plan and do my best.

I never finish anything on my to-do-list, nor should I expect myself to. I need to set my performance driven self aside and let life happen.

Three things I ask God daily:

-Am I over-committed in any one thing? 

-Am I following your lead?  

-What is the most important thing you desire for me to focus on today?  

Dear Stay At Home Mom: We set ourselves up when we put time limits on tasks, set goals that are unrealistic, and expect life to flow with no hiccups.   

How do we find balance as moms?

Write a plan for the day in pencil – Keep a huge eraser in your pocket and erase those things that can wait until another day when you start to run out to time.

Schedule margin time – This is space on our calendar where nothing is scheduled. Look at your week ahead. What days are packed with activities and what days could you focus on just being at home? Let’s play with our kids and take a nap when we need to. For every busy day, plan an easy day.

I sent my friend an email that was very similar to this post. Following was her response.

“Lisa your words have helped me see that my perceptions are based on my unrealistic expectations.  It’s hard for me to be flexible and I’ve never been very good at just going with the flow. I’m seeking God to help me with my priorities.” Thank You, Mrs. C!

I’m constantly trying new ways to manage time and balance life.  It’s like a dance. There are times when I’m stepping on toes or my toes are being stepped on. It’s hard to tune into the beat of the music when my mind is full of rules.

I love watching dancers. Their eyes are focused on one another as they move together in perfect harmony. The rhythm in the music causes their hearts to beat together.

I flow better when I’m listening to God’s song in my life.  I’m strengthened as I follow His lead in the dance. I don’t stress about the messes all around me when I keep my eyes on Him.   

What are your tips for seeking balance as a mom?

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I was forty when I got married. I had my first child in 2008 and my second child in 2010. I am not a young mom.  I’ve been married since 2006 to an amazing man that is my best friend and we live in Colorado. Before I had children I was a Preschool Teacher. Now I’m a Home School Teacher.

I write to encourage and inspire. Life is messy and sometimes makes no sense. I don’t have all the answers or claim to have it all together. I’m learning that I don’t have to be perfect. I’m loved by God just because, and so are you. My posts are meant to help you hang in there when you feel like giving up. Join us at Me Too Moments for Moms to connect with other moms seeking faith and joy in this season of life.

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Enjoy your time at home!