Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.

{This week: Post by Heather}

So many moms struggle to feel like they are good enough, be a mom encourager. Help another mom feel confident in their strengths.

Motherhood and the act of mothering has become a huge trending topic in our society today. It’s everywhere you look. Even with all the honest videos and posts that have been thrust out into mainstream media there is still something that bothers me. The lack of women who actively choose to be a mom encourager.

It is something that happens in the most unlikely situations. Maybe I’m standing in line at Target or perhaps I’m at the park, and I strike up a conversation with a new mom. I can tell she’s a new mom, not because of the baby at her side, but because of the unsteadiness in her voice. She’s full of uncertainty and doubt.

As we’re talking she may drop a hint or two about something that is bothering her. She feels so guilty she wasn’t able to breastfeed longer, or she feels bad that she can’t figure out why her baby won’t stop crying.

And just like that I’m brought back to the early days of being a new mom. I remember that feeling all too well. And if I’m being completely honest, there are still days I feel like that.

There are always moments during motherhood, no matter how long I’ve been a mom, where I feel self-doubt creep in.

It’s in these moments where I chose to be a mom encourager.

I’ll ask this new mom I hardly know, if, despite the fact she’s no longer able to breastfeed, she still feeds her baby. Her head will snap up and she’ll look at me like I’m crazy. She’ll say, “Yes, of course I’m feeding her.” And my response will be an encouraging smile with something along the lines of “then you’re doing your job as her mother and taking care of all her needs.”

It doesn’t matter if you cloth diaper or choose Pampers.

It doesn’t matter if you buy baby food or make your own.

It doesn’t matter if give your kids more hand me downs than new clothes.

It doesn’t matter that your child doesn’t have the newest toy, or crib, or stroller.

The thing I’ve learned through the years is no one wins when we all try to make it out like we’ve got it all figured out. The thing about motherhood is when you “think” you have it all figured out the bottom will drop out.

The last thing anyone wants is to have someone there judging them for the choices they’ve made as they struggle through the tough moments of being a mom.

There are moments where we all have regrets. We make a choice because we have to. We simply do the best we can and sometimes it still doesn’t feel like enough.

The one constant in motherhood is that our expectations are never quite the reality of the situation.

For example…

I expected to have a natural birth. Instead I had an emergency C-section because my daughter’s heart rate was dropping. Afterwards I learned I would never be able to deliver children any other way than via C-section.

I expected to be able to breastfeed. Instead my milk dried up after exclusively feeding for six months with my first daughter. And I switched my second daughter at 4 months because I was having panic attacks while my husband was deployed.

I expected to cloth diaper all my children. I quit after 18 months with my first. I didn’t even try with my second.

I expected to have a healthy child because I did everything I was supposed to when I was pregnant. Instead my daughter was born with extremely oversized adenoids and had health and respiratory problems until after she was 2 years old. Problems that were only solved with numerous surgeries.

I expected to always know what to do as a mom. Instead I couldn’t get my first daughter to stop crying as an infant.

And I’ve had comments from other moms about all of these things when all I really wanted was someone to be a mom encourager.

I just needed to hear that I was doing alright despite the fact we don’t agree on the choices I’ve made as a mom.

I always try to be a mom encourager whenever I can, in the small moments and the big ones. I try to make every mom know that this mom right here thinks you’re doing the best you can.

We need to remember when we look at other moms that they too are just doing the best they can. That we are all different and make different choices. Instead of letting that divide us we should use that to be a mom encourager. To lift each other up instead of trying to pull others down.

A weekly series of motivation for moms brought to you by stay at home mom bloggers at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide.

Have you ever met a mom encourager? In what ways do you feel like you are a mom encourager?

So many moms struggle to feel like they are good enough, be a mom encourager. Help another mom feel confident in their strengths.

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Heather of Just Becoming Me contributor to Mom Motivation Mondays series at The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival GuideHeather lives in Florida with her husband, two girls and two pups. She is a lover of most things in life, too many to name here without scaring you, but a few include working out, learning new recipes, Pinterest, organizing (yes, it’s true!), home decor and learning to lead a more minimal and purposeful life.

She started Just Becoming Me as a venture to better understand herself and what will lead her towards a more fulfilling life. Her motto is: “We only have one life, and I want to learn to live mine in a way that gets me excited to jump out of bed.”

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