I chose to be a stay-home-mom based on experiences that I could not
ignore. Before my husband and I were even married, we discussed how we would best care for our children if/when we had them. There is only so much preparation you can do to get ready for parenthood, but how we were going to care for our children was important.
Maybe you had similar experiences that shaped your choice. Here are 5 reasons why I stay home:
in daycare settings.
5.) I want to live out my faith and values.
age. I was the oldest of two children, my dad worked more than full-time hours
in the business world, and my mom was a part-time nurse. She worked (for pay)
on the night shift and worked at home as a full-time mom during the day. (No, she did not sleep much, and no, I do not know how she did it!)
mornings while we watched (probably) too much television. No super-crafty projects.
But, she was there. She was there to take me to many doctor appointments when I
was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease at 10 years old. She was there to sit at
the clinic while I had procedures after she had been up all night working. She
made every parent-teacher conference, and every sporting event. I knew that my
dad working allowed her to be home with my brother and me.
mom and wife. She and my dad also had life experiences that shaped their
choices. They wanted my brother and me to be able to go to college without
having to take on debt. It was their main reason for wanting two
incomes, other than wanting to afford to live in a good school district. I ended up with student loans anyway.
I am not saying this was not a worthy sacrifice of my
parents, but it was one that did not exactly work as they had envisioned. I
value most, the time that my mom was with us and the supervision she provided. Now
that I have children, I know how much time and attention children require! In a way, I am doing what she only wished she could do. I feel that I am honoring her and what she taught me.
children in 3 different daycare centers around the US in infant rooms, toddler rooms and preschool rooms. Having formally taught preschoolers in 2 private preschool programs, my experiences shaped my view of
center-based child care and the misconceptions about preschool.
when compared to those kids in my preschool classes who had
SAHMs. Income level did not matter; hours per day in child care did. I wanted to be sure that I was providing my children with a home environment that fostered a love of learning and self-confidence as well as personal responsibility and discipline.
kids were there from 7am to 5:30pm or later), different caregivers come in to
each room to give the regular staff their breaks-one in the morning, one at
lunch and one in the afternoon. That equals is 3-8 different staff members having
close contact with the children in a 10 hour day. I wanted to be sure my children had one consistent caregiver-me-starting from when they were babies.
I know from my child development training (and common sense) that that is what is best for children under 5 years old. This does not mean I think working moms are doing something wrong! This is only my analysis of my experiences. Even though I did not want my children growing up in daycare, I know that some parents have to choose that route. I pray that they can find the best care possible for their children!
are also caregivers who do not engage or maintain their best behavior when
working with small children. I did not want my children dealing with a conflict of values that early on in their lives.
We establish our values in our home and there is discussion as my children grow and are able to understand how we do things in our home and how others choose to do things in their homes. Babies and toddlers need consistancy in this regard and I wanted to be sure I provided that to my children.
would not have seen each other for 8-10 hours a day. Because I stay home, my
son was able to attend my prenatal appointments with me, he heard his little sister’s
heartbeat before my husband, and he referred to his baby sister as “our baby”.
example that they are worth my time and attention. I teach them that I am
always here, always willing to hear their opinions, always willing to consider
their needs. That is what my mom showed me.
We talk about our budget and how we say no to some wants so that we have enough money to allow me to stay home with them. We value that I am home and that it is my work.
For me, faith in God is essential to being able to get out of bed each morning. (You may not believe, and I do not fault you for that. This is just one of the ways that I stay motivated to be a stay-at-home mom.) Living from a young age with a disease, I could have lost hope and strayed from a positive outlook on life, but instead God worked to reach me in my challenges and He won.
I am not a perfect person, but I owe it to the people I love to actively love them. Even when I feel lost in motherhood, I can love others. I do not always work through the challenges in the prettiest way, but I teach my children that God is perfect-even when I show them I am not. He never gives up on me, so I will not give up on my family.
fancy vacations for long periods of time. We do not get to store away large amounts
of savings or offer our kids a free college education. We are
teaching them the definition of love and sacrifice, the definition of family
powerful our impact and how important our presence when it comes to raising our
This post is featured in A Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms: When You Need to Connect with SAHMs Who Get It! Read more SAHM experiences HERE.
Enjoy your time at home!