Welcome to Mom Motivation Mondays where weekly contributing writers share their motherhood experiences to encourage you to find the joy in being a mom.
{This week: Post by Jaimi in honor of Melissa Matters}
When I have two toddlers clinging to me, a 4 year old throwing a tantrum, and my 7 year old asking for help on his homework, all at the same time, I feel overwhelmed. I don’t enjoy that moment. I don’t enjoy all moments of motherhood. I want to run, hide, take shelter, leave the work for someone else. I had to stop and think in that moment of challenge:
If I knew it was my final moment with my children, would I enjoy it no matter what was happening?
I’m not trying to be melodramatic, or bring guilt on myself for the times I have felt overwhelmed. I am not trying to make you feel guilty if you have felt like running away as a stay-at-home mom.
I have moments where I really want a break, where I feel I have reached my limit. I have even said out loud to my kids, “You guys are pushing me to my limit here!”
This past week, I left a full cart of groceries in the checkout lane, because I had reached my limit trying to keep the twins in the cart and use a self-checkout that kept freezing up on me. (Why do those things even exist?). I snapped at my children when after 4 times of saying, “It’s time to clean up,” they acted like my voice was muted. I got angry at the twins for keeping me up for hours at night and then waking up for the day at 3:30 am multiple days in a row.
I don’t LIKE those moments of being a mom.
BUT, I appreciate that I am home for my children.
We are not guaranteed tomorrow. It is not melodramatic to think like that. It is real.
Think about this:
A Stay-at-Home Mom we know and love on this blog just passed away. A mom to 2, a wife, just died. She doesn’t get tomorrow. Just like that. God decide that Melissa Matters did all that she needed on this Earth, He decided that her time was up. Melissa, SAHM blogger at Wading Through Motherhood and contributing writer to this blog in the Mom Motivation Mondays series passed away a week ago, at 36 years old. 36.
We think our days are so long and that we give so much-too much-at times. I have asked my husband, “Do you realize all that I do here every day? All that I deal with and juggle?” But if today is my last day, I don’t care about who notices. I don’t care if they appreciate me for all that I do all day as a stay at home mom. I care that I know I gave everything to care for them, to love them.
God takes us on His time schedule. He doesn’t ask us if we’re ready.
Think it’s just not likely to happen? Think young moms don’t die? They do.
A long-term view is hard to keep, and I don’t think this moment-Melissa’s passing-will make me WANT to like every tough moment I have as a stay-at-home mom. But, in a sad and unfortunate way, it helps me learn to appreciate every moment, every day, no matter how hard. It is a wake up call when I really need it. It’s the little voice in the back of my mind when I feel frustration suffocating me, and I just want to be done, reminding me I am not done-not yet. I get today with my family.
I don’t necessarily want to enjoy the tough moments, but if today is my last day, I will appreciate that I am here-leaning in, all present, ready, willing, and able, to be here for my kids. It may be that my work of being a mom will keep me up almost all night leading to sleep deprivation, or will involve deep breathing exercises when the twins are tugging at me to hold both at once.
Tantrums, sticky faces, potty accidents that I have to clean up, poor behavior, time management, laundry…yes, I have to deal with all that today.
But, I am still here for my family.
I know we have a lot of demands on us as mothers. If today was your last day at home with your family, would you want to be anywhere else?
In honor of Melissa Matters, linked below are the posts she contributed to Mom Motivation Mondays, and a few of my favorite posts from her blog as well. Please say a prayer for her family.
Melissa Matters was a teacher-turned stay-at-home mom. She lived in Southern California with her husband, two kids, two dogs and two cats. She blogged over at Wading Through Motherhood where she shared about the joys and trials of motherhood, with a side of humor.
Wading Through Motherhood
How to Do the Laundry, with Kids, in 22 Easy Steps
10 Signs You’ve Been Sucked into the Mom-Competition
Mom Motivation Mondays
7 Tips for the Bored Stay-at-Home Mom
When Your First Born Starts Growing Up
There is a fund set up to offer support to Melissa’s husband Scott and her 2 children at this time. If you have the ability to donate you can find more info here: Matters Family Fund
To view the entire Mom Motivation Monday’s series, click on the image below.
